Page 18 of Despite It All
“It’s okay.” I admire Wyla so much in this moment. Family or not, I wasn’t here, and I should have been. I know it’s not her fault, but damn it, I would have been here had I known.
She breaks our gaze. “I should probably go get Stevie. We’ll see you in the morning?”
“I’ll be there.”
Wyla walks me to the door, but she pauses before opening it. “Jett… I know we’ll talk about the future more, but please don’t let her get attached to you these next two weeks and disappear. I’m asking you if you show up tomorrow, you show up for the rest of her life. She deserves nothing less.”
She looks off to the side, but I want her to look at me, and see that I’m serious when I say this. I cup her face, willing her to look at me. “I promise, Wy. I’ll show up.”
Chapter 5
“Rise and shine, Stevie Bug. We have a big day planned.” I gently rock my sleepyhead awake. Stevie takes one of her million blankets and pulls it over her head and rolls away from me. “Stevie, come on, baby. It’s time to get up.”
Stevie groans. “I’m sleepy, Mommy.”
“I know, sweetie, but we’re going to Crossroads, and we’re going to meet someone new today.” I try to sound as enthusiastic as I can to mask the extreme anxiety I have over introducing Jett to Stevie.
“Who we meeting?” Stevie asks, peeking out from her blankie.
“You gotta get up to find out, stinker.” I tickle her side.
Stevie giggles. “I’m not a stinker. You’re a stinker.”
“No way, you are.” I tickle her again, and her head falls back in laughter.
Stevie rolls out of bed. I wrangle her into some clothes and manage to get her hair pulled up into two buns. Normally, they’re called space buns, but Stevie calls them her “fun buns.”
There has been a knot in my stomach all morning. My nerves are shot. Am I happy I’ve found Jett so Stevie can know her real father? Yes. Am I terrified of how shared custody with someone who lives in Seattle is going to work? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did seeing Jett also bring up a lot of built up sexual tension? Oh, big time.
How could someone pull so many emotions out of me? Figuring out how to co-parent should be our focus, but damn, if seeing him didn’t also bring back so many memories of that night.
So many regrets too. The look on Jett’s face when he left yesterday haunted me all night. His words only made the guilt I feel worse.
We pull into Crossroads a few minutes before nine-thirty, and I turn back in my seat to talk to my daughter. “Okay, Stevie, like I said, we are meeting someone new. Let’s remember our manners, okay?”
Stevie smiles sweetly. “Okay, Mommy. I like meeting new people.”
My social butterfly.
I unload her from the car, and we walk into Crossroads. I set her up at one of the tables by the window and go up to the counter to get our usuals.
“Morning,” I greet Ivy. “Win here?”
“Hey, Wyla.” Ivy gives me a stressed smile as she pops a lid on a cup of coffee, then hands it to a man waiting to the side. “Win’s in the bathroom throwing her guts up. She said she was craving one of my strawberry cupcakes. Apparently, the baby didn’t agree with her.”
“Oh goodness, I hate how sick she’s been.”
“I know.” Ivy races back and forth from one machine to the next filling orders. “You guys want the usual?”
“Yes, please. No rush, though, Ivy. Take your time.” I walk back over to our table, and Stevie kicks her dangling feet back and forth on her chair. I take the seat next to her. “I love you, baby, so much.”
I snuggle her up in a hug, and she peers up at me. “I love you too, Mommy… Did you get me a muffin?”
I chuckle. “Yes, stinker, I did.”
“Mommy, you’re the stinker!” She giggles.
“Nuh-uh, you are.” I crinkle my nose then rest my forehead against hers, and she laughs, rubbing her nose against mine.
