Page 143 of A Winding Wave of Magic
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I said finally, turning my gaze back to the water as the sun began to turn amber as it dropped to the horizon. “I don’t know…I think…I’m just not…I’m not a savior.”
“Savior?” Jonathan’s snort was loud and immediate. “No, I don’t think so either. You’re no Messiah, Cass.”
I chuckled with him. “Just the ‘Oracle of a Generation,’ then.”
“She does have a knack for drama.”
I heaved a sigh. There were so few oracles, Caitlin said, which meant we were either revered or reviled. Sometimes both, of which Medb and my namesake were examples. Oracles served as guides for the people, but not everyone wanted to hear the things they had to share.
There hadn’t been one in Ireland for several hundred years. The last known oracle in Europe had died in a concentration camp during World War II. Whether there were others out there or not, it was safe to assume there weren’t many of us.
She said I was a marvel, but I felt like a fraud.
“How can I do this if I’m not sure what I’m even supposed to See?” I demanded. “I’m so ordinary, it’s absurd. Other than some discomfort when I bump into people and occasional moments of insanity, I’m practically plain.”
“That’s not true and you know it.” Jonathan pried a shell from the edge of the rock and held it up, revealing a tiny snail inside. “In a few weeks, this one will grow too large for his shell and crawl out to find a new one. Chances are, he’ll be washed out by the tide, to a new part of the island or another that’s farther from his home and stranger than any place he’s ever been. He’ll see new things and be confused. But eventually he’ll find a new home, crawl in, and grow even more.”
He set the snail back into a small pool of water gathered on the rock, where several others were firmly attached to the algae-covered surface.
“As metaphors go, that’s fairly heavy-handed,” I said, but my tone didn’t match my words. “I likedA Home for Hermit Crabtoo when I was little.”
Although there was a reason for that, I had to admit.
“Most of us would probably give up, Cass. In his place or in yours. Most people simply can’t weather the changes of the world. But you’ve been born with the gifts to do just that and help others too. Unlike most seers, you’ve already traveled across the world rather than staying in the same place, even with the challenges of your gifts. You’ve chosen to live in cities for your love of knowledge, rather than cower in some remote location like this or Manzanita. Haven’t you ever wondered why?”
“This place is gorgeous,” I countered. “Anyone would be lucky to live here.”
“It’s beautiful, but it’s the middle of bloody nowhere.” Jonathan grabbed a few loose pebbles and began skipping them off the whitewash. “It’s for people who don’t like people, who can’t deal with change. I love the Connollys, and you’ll learn a lot from them. But they’re chasing a past, the way they live, one that’s dying. You want to know history, but you want to know the rest of the world too. It’s your curiosity that makes you special, oracle or not.” He took a breath and tossed a few more rocks. These didn’t skip, just made a splash on the shallow waves before sinking below the frothy surface. “I don’t think Penny gave you that box just to guard it.”
A gust of wind tossed my hair across my eyes, and I pushed it away to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not a telepathic shield like she was. You’re the opposite, in fact. You’re a vector for truth—you keep nothing to yourself. I’d wager she thought of that when she willed you that box and her position. Maybe it’s time for the Secret, whatever it is, to be shared. Maybe it’s time for the lost mage of Inis Oírr to be found.”
My breath seemed to escape me. “That’s a lot to say with maybe.”
Jonathan’s full lips press into a tight line. “It’s a lot no matter what.”
I stared back out at the waves, fighting the urge to run into them and forget all of this nonsense. If I was an oracle, like Caitlin said, perhaps I could find a merrow out there who would help me turn into a seal, too. I could sink that nasty box to the bottom of the ocean and swim away, and no one would ever know where I’d gone. Gran’s Secret would stay hidden, and I’d never see it again.
But you’d never see him again either,said a small voice somewhere in the back of my mind.
“Cass.”
I turned. “What?”
Jonathan’s eyes gleamed before he stared back at his hands, almost like he couldn’t bear to look at me. “I’m leaving in the morning. First flight out.”
My heart felt like it had been smacked by a hammer. “What? Why? We just got here.”
Jonathan took my hand and tugged me closer. Remorse shivered through his touch, along the fact that he didn’twantto leave. Not any of us. Not me.
My body relaxed. Until I Saw what he planned to say next.
I flung his hand away, but he said it anyway. “I can’t stay here. I agreed to escort you to this house, and I did that.”
“You’re lying,” I bit out.
“I’m not.”
