Page 46 of The Bodyguard and the Alpha
“We can’t stay in bed for twenty-four hours a day and I’m used to being busy.”
Is that a challenge baby?A hand moved lower, a thumb pressing on my clit.
“Uh, no?”
His chuckle vibrated against my back. “Read if you like. We can test your concentration.” The image he sent me, of his head between my thighs while I lounged against pillows, a book in front of me, was filthy. My muscles clenched in instinctive reaction.Let’s practise, he purred, moving down the bed.
And practise we did.
But later, when he had fallen asleep, I crept out of bed. With a flick of my wrist, I called up a tiny magelight, just enough to see what I was doing. I navigated to the table and collected the pile of books.
When I was safely in the bathroom, with a towel wedged under the door to keep it shut, I switched on the light. If Bastien woke enough to miss me, he would see the light and assume I’d gone for a pee. Caly had sent me three books. Picking up the first one, I read the title, “The Thirty Day war: its causes and consequences.” The war had occurred two hundred years ago. Potentially an interesting read if I had nothing better to do, but I knew it wasn’t the one Caly wanted me to read. The second, “The life of Thomas Aspinall: First Mage” could possibly have something in it. Caly had a degree in magic theory and Thomas had been very powerful. Was the issue something to do with me as a Witch or with Bastien? My gut told me it was about Bastien, but I flipped it over, my eyes skimming over the blurb. Nothing jumped out at me.
The third title looked even less interesting, but as soon as I touched the cover, I knew that it was the book Caly wanted me to read. The book was slim with a plain green leather cover and the title “A Guide to Herbs” suggested the book was innocuous, but it wasn’t the cover or the title that held my attention. It was the tiny pulse of magic that sparked under my fingers when I touched it. Magic that felt so like my own it had to be Caly’s.
Ohmygods. Emotion clogged my throat. Intellectually, I’d known that Caly’s powers had finally come in, long after she and I had despaired of her ever getting her magic. Caly had told me all about it as soon as she was safe. I’d known, but this was the first time I’d touched her magic.
A rush of memories filled my head. Of how I’d consoled her when she failed her Magic Tests. Her face swollen fromtears, eyes heavy from the crushing headache she’d given herself when she had refused to give up. Her face had been frighteningly empty. I remembered the many nights I held her in bed as she cried. Mother had been worse than useless. She had shown no empathy toward Caly. No recognition that Caly’s heritage was pulled out from under her with no warning. Mother’s reaction had been all about her. What would her friends say?
Caly always knew that I would have shared my powers with her in an instant if it had been possible. And I was so proud of her. She’d navigated her way through life at the new school she’d been sent to when she wasn’t permitted to attend the elite academy for Witch students with me. She’d gone to university and gained several degrees. She’d forged herself a life path and career without magic. And as an adult, Caly said that she didn’t care that she had no magic, and that she liked the life she had built for herself. It was true. She was content. And she was rightfully proud of what she had achieved. But I had always known that in her deepest heart she had still been hurting.
And now her magic was under my fingers. The spell was small, just a basic illusion. It was simple to undo and the real title was revealed: “The Definitive Guide to Shifter Practices.” I wiped suddenly clammy hands on the towel hanging on the rail beside me. This book held the information I needed.
An hour later, I knew. And I wanted to be sick. This had the potential to be bad. Epically bad. I thought back to the moments before Bastien had given me his mate bite. He had asked me to say ‘yes’. And I had said yes. At that point I would have said yes to anything he asked. But if I was given truth serum and asked if Bastien had told me that I was his mate before he bit me, I would not be able to say that he had. I had truly not known that he wanted to bite me. Until he’d shifted into his Beast form, I’d seen no sign that he had any real interestin me. Sure, he’d asked me that very first day of my interview if I would have dinner with him, but he’d taken the rejection in good humour and he’d never given any indication that he still wanted to pursue me. He’d had five years to say something, but he hadn’t. Not a word about being my mate. This Declaration of Intent that both Caly and Luc had referred to was a formal way for a Shifter to tell a partner that they were looking for a mate bond. A period of courting often followed.
Bastien had never said a word. Not in his human form. And after he shifted, he’d barely spoken. In the moments before he’d bitten me, I’d assumed he was high on adrenaline after the fight and was looking for a fuck to let off some steam. Nothing more. We’d both been celibate for five years and emotions were high.
I didn’t connect the dots when he asked me to say yes. I just did it. But although Bastien hadn’t asked if he could bite me, I had wanted him to do it. I had pretended to myself that I was his mate. That he would want me as much as I wanted him. But I’d thought it was just my own fantasy because he hadn’t made it clear he was about to bite me. If it had been planned, if he’d really wanted me, both as man and as Beast, he would have asked.
The pages rustled in my shaking hands as I continued to scan the lines of text, looking for a way out of the mess we were in. According to Shifter custom, when Bastien had served me breakfast that first day, he had been announcing his interest. But he’d never taken it further. What did that mean? Had he changed his mind but felt he couldn’t change our morning routine without being rude?
Why hadn’t he said anything? Why didn’t he Declare his Intent?
My chest hurt and black dots swam in my vision. Breathe. I needed to breathe. The book fell into my lap. If I hadn’t already been sitting on the floor I would have fallen. My hands went to my hair, tugging at it. I needed the pain.
The whole team must have known, from almost the beginning. Bastien, their boss and Alpha had declared me off limits from day one. But no-one had told me. I’d had no exposure to Shifter customs. Shifters had their own magic and didn’t attend my school or College. Between my studies and the extra-curricular activities my mother demanded I undertake to be ready for the life of a pre-cog bodyguard, I’d never met a Shifter before Bastien.
I pulled my hair harder, welcoming the sting. I’d thought we had problems because Bastien’s Beast was in control. That was nothing. While Bastien would have to resign from his position on the Council if he found no balance, we would be able to be together. Imprisoned—in his beautiful country home—but we’d be together. Right now, that sounded idyllic.
However, if anyone figured out that Bastien hadn’t told me about being my mate before bonding me... I swallowed convulsively. I picked up the book, reading the awful words again. Our bond would be forcibly dissolved and Bastien would be executed.
The words blurred in front of me, and a tear dropped onto the page. I sobbed silently, not wanting Bastien to wake. I gave myself five minutes. Five minutes to let it all out. All my anger that we’d wasted so much time. All my fear of how it could all go wrong. All my despair. Then, I straightened, wiping my eyes.
I’d waited for this man for five years. There was no fucking way I was going to lose him now. There had to be a way.
I didn’t sleep anymore that night. Instead, I spent the time forming and discarding plans.
Maybe I was overreacting. It was possible that we could sweep the whole consent issue under the rug. It had been obvious to Caly that something was wrong, but she wouldn’t talk. Her guards didn’t know me well and it was possible they hadn’t noticed how I froze up. We could still be in the clear.
Or perhaps Bastien would come to his senses and dissolve the bond himself, before any further questions were asked. That thought lodged under my breastbone like a shard of ice, making it hard to breathe. It would make the most sense.
But if he wouldn’t let me go and questions were asked. My eyes returned to the words, looking for something… anything that could help.
Wait. There was a footnote about delay. It referenced a different chapter. My hands fumbled the pages.
The cross reference was to a chapter about pregnancy. I couldn’t imagine how that was relevant.
The words swam in front of my eyes. On top of my emotional disarray I was exhausted. Did it mean what I thought it meant?
