Page 38 of Tripped By Love
Cassidy
BIGGER MAN
“I’ve made a full house from a shitty hand,
Yet, here I am, still gotta be bigger than the bigger man.”
Performed byJoy Oladokun and Maren Morris
Written by Robbins / Oladokun / Veltz / Morris
Brady left the room with abang to the door that my even-tempered brother wasn’t known for. The lawyers were scrutinizing the contract that Lance Ralley’s team had left behind, Lee was watching me with a frown, but it was Marco’s eyes that felt like they were burying themselves into my veins and had me the most unnerved.
“You know…he just wants to do something good with the fortune he feels guilty about having amassed,” Lee said.
“That’s what charities are for,” I said, lifting my head.
Lee sighed. “But you’re family. And family gives to family. He was ecstatic the day he talked to me about buying your building and helping you get started. He felt relief. Like he couldfinallydo something for someone he loved.”
Lee patted me on the shoulder and then got up to look over the contract with the lawyers. Marco moved from the wall to take a seat next to me, his presence finally aligning with mine in the way I’d ached for it to do since he walked in the room with a furious look and a glare directed at Lance Ralley.
“What’s really holding you back?” he asked, fingers twitching as if he was going to reach for my hand and then changed his mind. He crossed his arms over his massive chest instead.
I didn’t know how to explain it. There was a tugging low inside my belly, keeping me from jumping up and down and screaming with excitement at the offer. I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with Lance or Earth Paradise and everything to do with the unknowns I couldn’t see. I searched Marco’s face, wondering if I’d sound as ridiculous as I felt, but I finally just spoke the truth. “Honestly, I don’t know. This feeling at the back of my gut, I guess. Stupid, right?”
Marco shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m a firm believer in trusting your gut. The times in my life I ignored it, I lived to regret it.”
I had a thousand questions to ask about that. I wanted to know every single one of the times. I wanted to understand how they’d formed him into the honorable man who shared so little of himself with anyone, who said that the word honor could never be applied to him.
“Was it your gut that had you storming into the room and all but throwing the lawsuit in Lance’s face?” I asked.
He glowered. “Yes.”
“So…you’d go with me then? Look out for me with that gut of yours?” I don’t know what made me push. I wasn’t afraid of Lance Ralley. Uncertain…but not afraid. But knowing someone would be with me who was determined to protect me without smothering me… It was what I needed.
“I know nothing about any of it,” he said. “I’m not exactly the right person to tag along.” He closed his eyes, as if looking at me was painful, and it stabbed at my heart a little more than I could bear.
“I don’t need you to know anything about recipes or food production or distribution. Like we said the other day, you read people for a living. That’s what I need, and you’re more than qualified to do that,” I said honestly.
My words seemed to pain him as much as his had pained me. As if we’d learned enough to know how to wound each other, but not enough to know how to soothe it back over.
“Sounds like we have a few weeks before you need to go. We can decide then,” he said quietly. It wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t a yes either, and yet I couldn’t help my heart leaping at the ‘we’ that had flown from his lips.
I didn’t respond, but my smile probably said what I was feeling without me needing to. His eyes crinkled as if he was having difficulty holding back his own smile. He got up out of the chair. “I’m going to go check in again with Trevor and then go back to the apartment to make sure Jonas hasn’t blown it up, but I’ll see you for our workout tonight?”
I nodded and watched him as he left. When I turned back to Lee and the lawyers, Lee was watching me with a thoughtful expression on his face that I couldn’t quite read. Marco and I had just exhibited a friendship that no one had really been able to see before, even though they all knew we worked out together. In truth, it was a friendship that we’d just found ourselves.
I’d always been attracted to Marco, but what I felt now was so much deeper. Like something hidden in me was calling to something hidden in him, and I wondered if either of us would ever let those emotions be brought into the light.
???
I signed the tentative agreement with Earth Paradise and headed to the bank to deposit the retainer check. I stared at the new balance on my account for a long time. It felt unreal. I wasn’t sure I knew what to do with the money, so it would sit there until I did.
At home, the house seemed too quiet and closed in for all my feelings, so after Chevelle woke from his nap, I took him to the park, pushing him in the stroller. The first thing he wanted to do was feed the ducks because if there were animals anywhere nearby, that was where my boy was. Knowing this, I’d brought some vegetable scraps from the house, and he giggled and jabbered while flinging the pieces into the water. Then, we headed to the swings, which had always been my favorite thing growing up. I tucked him onto my lap and swayed us back and forth.
The day was bright and beautiful. Big puffy clouds littered the sky, and sunshine warmed me enough that I needed to remove the sweater I’d worn to the meeting, leaving me in a tank top and a long skirt dancing with flowers.
Chevelle laughed. “More, Mama. More.”
