Page 43 of Fortress
The library turned out to be so simple, Tobias was taken aback. Mandy seemed genuinely glad to have him there, and while she asked a lot of general questions the first day (How are you liking Sahuarita? What brought you to southern Arizona?), she easily accepted the cover story that he and Jake had agreed on: they were visiting their old friend Alex while recovering from a car accident.
She was surprised when he had the Dewey decimal system memorized after the first day. That made him anxious at first, heart thudding as he wondered if he’d revealed himself to beabnormalagain. But she seemed more pleased and impressed than suspicious, lamenting that he and Jake wouldn’t be staying in Sahuarita long-term, so she couldn’t hire him on full-time when Gary retired.
As soon as Tobias demonstrated that he knew his way around the stacks, she left him alone with a cart of books to shelve. The work was methodical and peaceful in a way he hadn’t expected. He’d often worked in the small library inside FREACS, but with the cameras in every corner and the knowledge that a guard might come in at any time, he had never truly relaxed or even known how. Here, there was something breathtaking about the huge range of books he handled, the tap of keys at the bank of computers, the sound of children unafraid to be noisier than they should. When he finished everything they had for him (Mandy delighted and a little gleeful at the empty reshelving carts), he took a book to a secluded corner and read until Jake came to pick him up after his shift at the auto shop.
On the drive back to Alex’s and through most of dinner, Jake told Toby stories about the bozos he worked with and their weird sense of humor. Then that night, like most of their nights since the doctor visit, they watched a movie from Alex’s collection.
They started with the animated Disney films, and Toby liked them all, especiallyLion KingandToy Story. Jake remembered the controversy aroundToy Story, the protests and theaters that banned it until Disney released a long statement about it being fantasy and make-believe, not possessed toys.
Jake hadn’t been gung ho at first about rewatching kids’ movies, but watching Toby light up at the silly jokes and characters put a big grin on his own face every time. And he’d forgotten how just damn catchy some of the songs were.
To his satisfaction, Toby turned out be a huge Indiana Jones fan. He lovedRaiders(which, duh, best in the trilogy). Even before Toby bumped his shoulder and marveled at how cool Indiana was, Jake knew that Toby had good taste in awesome badasses.
Temple of Doomwent a little rougher. Jake had forgotten about the child slaves, and the whipping, and the extremely creepy force-feeding-blood thing. Toby had a vise-like grip on Jake’s arm through those scenes, but they got through it and he was smiling again at the end. Jake’s relief felt a little absurd, but he knew that this wouldn’t have been possible just last year. It was a damn good thing that even the hospital nightmare hadn’t taken them all the way back to square one.
The next night, he got out of the shower to find Toby sitting again before the DVD shelf, flipping through a small stack he’d picked out.
“Star Wars.” Toby looked up at Jake. “That’s something everyone’s seen, right?”
Jake hesitated, trying to think of what in the series was likely to give Toby nightmares. Darth Vader Force-strangling his underlings, Luke getting his hand chopped off—and, oh yeah, there was that scene with Leia in the golden bikini, chained to that slime monster. Jake was a little ashamed of himself now for once finding that super hot. Didn’t she even have a chain around her throat? Shit.
But Toby was examining the case cover closely. “This looks like Indiana Jones! The actor who played him, I mean.”
Jake huffed a laugh, moving closer. “Yeah, that’s Harrison Ford, a few years younger than he was inRaiders. Still pretty smoking, even without the hat. But, uh—some stuff in there’s pretty hardcore, I dunno if you’re in the mood for it.”
Toby glanced up at him, frowning a little, then looked back down at the DVD. “But this is something everyone knows, isn’t it? So I guess I’ll just have to deal.” His voice was casual, dismissive, like the issue was already settled. Since the doctor appointment and Toby’s announcement that he’d volunteer at the library, Jake had seen a resurgence of an earlier Toby—the one from last fall who had pushed his own boundaries without regard for his own comfort. These days, it wasn’t quite as obvious that Toby’s goal was to make Jake happy, but Jake was still torn between pride and guilt.
Jake sighed. “Toby . . .”
Toby stood up, giving Jake a lopsided smile. “I won’t watch if I don’t want to, okay? Like with some ofTemple of Doom, I watched your shoulder instead.”
“It’s a nice shoulder, if I do say so myself.” Jake still wasn’t sure about this, but Toby was probably right. He should get to decide for himself.
Toby liked the robots a lot, as anyone would, and got really excited when Harrison Ford showed up. They paced themselves, and three nights later, they finishedReturn of the Jedi, which had the creepy Jabba the Hutt scene that Jake had been dreading. But he’d forgotten how Leia proved what a badass she was, even in that skimpy bikini, by throttling the slimy son of a bitch. He hoped Toby had paid attention to that bit. His only reaction to that whole scene had been to go absolutely still against Jake’s side. Once Leia reunited with Luke and they escaped before blowing the whole place up, Toby exhaled and relaxed.
After the cheesy images of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin faded from the sky, Toby leaned back against Jake’s chest. “I still like C-3PO and R2D2 best,” he said at last. “Though Han Solo was pretty cool too,” he added, turning his head to grin at Jake. No, not grin,smirk. “He really loved his Millennium Falcon.”
“’Course he did. It was his baby.” Jake shrugged, a little defensively. “I get the feeling, y’know?”
“Yeah.” Toby slid a little farther down, so he was almost lying with his head in Jake’s lap, looking up at him. “I guess that makes me Chewbacca,” he said thoughtfully—then, seeing Jake’s face, he added, “You’re always saying I have a lot of hair.”
“Yeah, on yourhead. You know who else has a lot of hair just on their head? Leia. She has luscious locks, is cute, and badass. Just like you.”
“Oh.” Even in the dim light from the TV’s blue screen, Jake could see Toby’s wide smile and flushed cheeks.
“Yeah, that’s right.” Jake slipped a hand behind Toby’s neck, dropping his head closer. “And you know who Leia got to kiss, in the end.”
Toby raised his head to meet him, gripping Jake’s shirt behind his shoulder.
A little later, Tobias lay on his side in the most comfortable position he’d found, with one arm and ankle tangled with Jake’s. Jake had already fallen asleep, his breathing slow and regular.
There was a lot to be scared of in the world. Humans and hunters, Freak Camp and the ASC. Yet lying there, listening to Jake’s steady breathing, Tobias felt truly safe for the first time since the hospital. It wasn’t just the warmth of Jake’s arm twined with his, the comfort of the bed, the delicious meal they’d eaten, or all the movies they’d watched where the good guys always won. He felt safe because he knew where they were again with each other and what their relationship could look like when they weren’t both afraid, fucking up, and treating each other like glass.
Tobias and Jake Hawthorne had survived another day, and it had been a good one. A very good one, the kind he never could have imagined in Freak Camp. Maybe, together, they didn’t even have to be afraid.
Chapter Eight
They’d been more stressed about leaving Sahuarita than they’d wanted to admit, though they knew it was time to go long before they finally packed up. Even before late April, when Alex mentioned she had friends coming who needed a place to crash, Jake could feel the change in the wind.
