Page 89 of Only This Once
“Both my brothers are good with kids.” Phoebe frowned down at her drink. “I’ve never understood why Charles hasn’t settled down to have his own. Never met the right person, I guess.” She tilted her head, as if considering the idea. “Not sure how Jinx feels. Have you guys had the kids talk yet?”
“The bare bones of it, yeah, but it’s not like we’re at the point where that’s an issue.” Jinx was still acting like he couldn’t have any. It was a relief to Julia since she didn’t want any, but she wanted to make sure he would really be okay with that and that he wasn’t making a decision based on fear. Not that she was going to have kids with him if he changed his mind.
She frowned as she straightened on the couch. Wait, was she already thinking long term with him? Shit, she’d been the one to bring it up, too. Did that give Jinx hope? Her stomach churned when she thought about them not being long term.
Phoebe’s fingers danced in front of her face. “Hey, Jules? Did I lose you?”
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“You were thinking pretty hard. Don’t tell me you’re daydreaming about a family with my brother. Oh, damn, our kids would be related, then.”
“I’m not having kids. You know that.” Julia took a breath. “I was just thinking about what it would be like to be with him long enough where that was something we needed to talk through.”
Phoebe blinked at her, then her lips tilted up in a smirk and she poked Julia in the cheek. “Somebody is finally admitting she likes my brother.”
“What?” Julia batted her friend’s finger away as her heart thumped. “You’d be happy about that?”
Phoebe snorted. “Well, I’ll be disappointed that I won’t be hearing fascinating sex things anymore because you’ll only ever be doing them with mybaby brother.” Her voice rose on the last two words, and Julia flushed. “But Jinx has been in love with you forever, so of course I want him to be happy.”
Julia stared at her. “You didn’t want him to be with me.”
“It’s not like you can unfuck him, right?” Phoebe shrugged. “Besides, it took me a while, but I figured things out. You’ve been in love with Jinx forever, too.”
A buzzing filled Julia’s ears as she stared at her friend, shaking her head.
Phoebe let out an annoyed huff. “You’re so slow! Come on, you can’t really tell me you don’t love my brother. You’ve loved all us Holdens for as long as I can remember.”
Julia shifted in her seat. “Well, you’re like family.”
“Exactly! See?” Phoebe leaned toward her, almost dumping her hot chocolate in Julia’s lap. “Now say it for real. Say you love Jinx.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “Sure, I love him, but I’m not in love with him. Not the way he deserves.”
Phoebe snorted. “Wrong. You’ve always treated Jinx way better than me.”
“I have not.” Julia felt like she was a child again, arguing about whether she liked someone more.
“Please. You and I fought all the time over the years. I’ve never once seen you yell at Jinx.”
“That’s because he’s nicer than you,” Julia snapped, annoyed with her friend again.
“Well, sure, but you’re missing the point. You’ve always been sweet on him.” Phoebe’s face held a smug look that made Julia more annoyed. “You might as well admit it. I know I’m right.”
“You’re not right. Liking a person and wanting to be around them doesn’t mean you’re in love with them.” She’d been fighting that idea ever since her sisters had suggested it. She leaned forward, setting her cup down on the nearby table with a snap.
Phoebe did the same, turning more fully toward her. “Sure, if that’s all it was, but you do stuff for him you’d never do for me. I mean, you went hiking, Julia, and it was your idea! That’s what started me thinking.”
“He likes to. I wanted to do something for him.”
“Do you want to go with me to that classical music in candlelight event? I really want to go with someone.”
Julia cringed. “No. That’s not my scene.” She’d be bored to tears listening to some pianos play for hours, even if the candlelight was pretty.
Phoebe spread her hands. “See? Now, what if Jinx asked you to go?”
Julia hesitated, picturing him with excited and hopeful eyes, and her chest softened. “That won’t happen,” she reassured herself. “I know the music he likes, and that’s not it.” They had some overlap, though he’d introduced her to a few indie artists she hadn’t known before, and they weren’t half-bad.
“You take everything so literally. It was just an example. You knowing his music taste is another one. I bet you know almost everything about him.”
