Page 90 of Only This Once
“We’ve known each other since we were kids.” Julia didn’t get why Phoebe was pushing this.
Her friend blew out a breath. “Fine. So what TV show am I into right now?”
Julia’s mind went blank. They hadn’t talked about TV shows for a while. “That’s a bad example. Jinx and I watch TV together when he’s over. I don’t do the same with you.”
“God, you’re annoying,” Phoebe muttered.
Julia crossed her arms over her chest. “Right back at you.”
Phoebe snorted. “My favorite ice cream flavor, then.”
Julia’s heart rate began to settle. “Chocolate chip with cookie dough.”
Phoebe made a buzzing sound. “Wrong!”
“I am not! You’ve liked that flavor for forever.”
“I still do, but it’s not my favorite. Ever since I was pregnant, it switched to mint chocolate chip.”
Julia frowned. That sounded familiar. “I’m a shitty friend, aren’t I?”
Phoebe rolled her eyes. “You are not! Friends don’t have to know everything. I mean, come on, we don’t talk every second like you do with Jinx.”
Julia shook her head, her lips twitching. “I don’t talk to him every second.”
“Stop being so literal. I bet you talk every day. Even if it is just a text.”
Julia’s pulse fluttered. “It’s usually not just a text.” She liked to hear his voice. That was so corny. Her ears heated just thinking it.
Phoebe pointed. “Ooh, you’re blushing. That’s so cute!”
“Stop it,” Julia muttered, her hands lifting to cover her ears. “That still doesn’t mean I’m in love with him.”
“You’re so stubborn. What would love look like to you?”
Julia’s heart beat loud in her ears. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love.” Her voice grew quiet by the last word.
Phoebe’s face softened. “Exactly. Love is being kind and patient and wanting the best for someone, but you do that for everyone, so that description doesn’t help.” She waved her hand through the air. “But with someone you love, you also want the physical stuff. Not just sex, though that’s a big part of it, but hugging and kissing and cuddling, too. There’s a reason touch is a love language.”
Julia’s hands slid away from her ears. The physical stuff wasn’t an issue with Jinx. She’d always craved sex, but now she craved it with him specifically. She hadn’t missed her hookups at all, even though they weren’t fucking every night.
“You should also want to be around the person, want to hear what they have to say, both good and bad, and just, you know, want them in general. It doesn’t have to be twenty-four seven, but when you have a quiet minute to yourself, who are you thinking about? Yourself? Or him?”
Julia stared at her friend. She hadn’t seen that soft expression on her face in a long time. It looked good on her.
She cleared her throat, shaking her head. “I’m still not sure. I can’t say anything to him until I am, and you shouldn’t either. I don’t want to give him false hope.”
Phoebe sighed. “Fine. I won’t tell him like I was going to.”
Julia didn’t believe her. Phoebe couldn’t keep anything to herself. “It really might hurt him. I need time, Feebs.”
“That’s just like you, worrying about him.” Phoebe leaned forward, picking up her hot chocolate. “Can you just do some self-reflection, too? He shouldn’t have to wait if he doesn’t have to.”
That idea made her squirm inside. Luckily, her phone rang. She’d picked one of the new songs Jinx had turned her on to as her ringtone, which made it hard not to think more about Phoebe’s words. “That’s probably Jinx. Has that much time passed? I didn’t realize.” She glanced at the time and frowned. “No, he’s got half an hour left. Oh, it’s Charles.” She swiped to take the call. “Hey. Charles?”
“Are you near the hospital?”
Her heart started thudding, but it felt different this time. “Yeah. I’m waiting for Jinx in that coffee shop nearby. Is something wrong?”
