Page 114 of In the Long Run
‘Hey,’ he says, setting the book that was splayed across his chest on my desk behind him.‘How are you feeling?’
I’m … a lot of things right now.Exhausted, still.And it’s the kind of bone-deep, soul-deep tiredness that will take more than sleep to shake.I’m angry.At Brand and myself.For not taking his behaviour more seriously earlier.But I’m going to do my best to listen to the logical part of my brain that says there’s no point playing ‘what if’.No one ever wins that game.All I can do is everything in my power to try to stop this from happening to someone else.
But mostly I’m grateful.That I’m okay, and that the person I want by my side is here.Too far away for my liking, but I get it.Knox is waiting for me to say that it’s all right.That I still want him close.
I sit up and rest my back against the woven cane headboard, dragging my pillow with me and taking my time getting it exactly where I want it to be.
‘I’m okay,’ I say.‘Could be better.’I mean to imply that I want Knox next to me, but he jumps up and slips his feet into the runners he wears to the gym.He’s still in his workout clothes.It’s been hours but he hasn’t left my side.He was sitting outside the bathroom on the hallway floor when I finished showering.
‘What do you need?’He pats his pockets and pulls out his keys.‘Food?Something to drink?Another blanket?’
‘You.’
Everything about him softens.It’s like all the tension he carries runs right out of his body.
‘I’m right here.’
I shake my head.‘You’re too far away.’
That gets me a smile.It’s only small, but I’ll take it and add it to my mental collection of all the ways Knox has looked at me.He kicks off his shoes and pads across the floor in his socks.I scooch over, pat the spot next to me.
‘Are you sure?’
He’s annoyingly kind sometimes, really.
‘I am.’
He eases in next to me, pulling the covers up over our legs and smoothing them down around mine, cocooning me in place.It’s cosy and warm, but I want him.
‘Can I?’I ask.
His chest rumbles with a quiet laugh.‘You know I’ll give you anything you want, Halliday.’
My nickname starts a slow burn that warms me from the inside out.I lift up and curl into his lap, fitting into the spot that I want to always be mine.
Knox settles a big palm against my thigh and uses his other hand to hold mine against his chest.‘Tell me if it’s too much.’
What a perfect example of when the simple truth is all you need.‘It’s not enough,’ I say.
We share a loaded look, and when his gaze drops to my lips, his phone rings.
‘This fucking phone,’ he mutters.‘Hang on.’
The heavy sigh that makes his chest rise and skates across my skin signifies that it’s an important call.
‘You can get it.’
‘It’s my boss.’
‘Oh.’I start to move away, but he shakes his head.
‘Don’t go.Please.’
I relax against his firm body, tucking my head into the crook of his neck.
He swallows before answering the call with a calm ‘Knox Watson’.
I can hear every word as Knox’s boss speaks for a minute, until Knox cuts him off.
