Page 4 of Switching Skates
We just got back from a weekend away, camping in Ross’s family’s camper at their fancy private spot in a neighboringtown. It was so nice that I don’t even know if camping is the right world to describe it. It was a lot of fun and a lot of dumb decisions. But honestly, that’s the best combination.
Walking through our living room to the kitchen, I call out to the rest of the house, “Already on it.”
I grab a new candle from my stash beneath the sink. We’re going to need to burn this bad boy for a while.
Ross walks into the kitchen, heading straight to the garbage can, and grabs the bag, tying it off.
Brock and I burst out laughing as he rushes past us. Holding it with his arm stretched straight out, he runs outside, squealing.
“I might go for a run in a bit if you want to join,” I tell Brock and Ross as he walks back in.
Ross’s face distorts. “God, no. We’re going to be on the ice and in the gym enough. I’m enjoying my time off.”
He hops over the back of the couch and plops down on the seat. Turning the TV on, he does what Ross does best—gets lost in his own world.
“Brock?” I turn to him, and he sighs.
He holds his hands up in defeat. “Look, I know that I probably should. But …”
“You’ll regret that in about a week—you know that, right?” I laugh as he guiltily runs around the couch and drops down next to Ross.
With his back to me, he nods. “Future mewill totally scoldthis meabout it.”
“So will Coach.” I chuckle.
He laughs and shakes his head, flipping me off at the same time my phone chimes.
I pull my phone out from my sweats pocket.
Maeve: Want to grab lunch or something sometime this week?
Having my sister on campus comes with a lot of mixed feelings. I love her to pieces, so I’m excited that she’ll be close. But that also means that I’m going to have to threaten every man on this campus to stay far away from her. But that is just the beginning of the problems because she didn’t come alone.
She’s brought her sassy, unbelievably beautiful, red-haired, blue-eyed best friend, Daphne Summers.
The same best friend I used to tease under the dinner table and secretly kiss and who I became utterly obsessed with over the years we grew up together. And then I fucked it all up like the pathetic coward I was.
The hold she had on my heart terrified me, and when I graduated high school two years before her and moved to the university, I was scared that my connection with her would cost me everything she and I had worked so hard for.
I didn’t want her putting her skating aside, chasing after our love, and I knew if I stayed another day with her, I would be willing to throw away my hockey career just to stay at her side.
Yeah, it might have been messed up that I made the decision for the both of us, but it’s way too late to take that back now. Even if I wanted to.
I’ve forced myself not to think of what happened—ofher—during our time apart. I’ve failed every single day. But I haven’t let that stop me from telling myself that I moved on. I’m a professional at gaslighting myself when it comes to her.
Even though I’ve tried to actually move on from her, I can’t so much as flirt with another girl without feeling a knife slicing its way through my chest.
Every time I’ve tried to flirt or kiss another girl, I can never go through with it. It’s like there’s a mental block in my mind that is physically preventing me from being with anyone else. Like my mind is undyingly loyal toherand not tome.
It’s kind of annoying how much of my life she’s controlled over the last few years. I’ve even checked on her through Maeve—who hates me for hurting Daphne, but still loves me as a brother—and from what she said, Daphne’s been good … for the most part.
I created the gigantic monstrosity of an elephant that appears whenever we’re near each other, and I’m not quite sure how to get rid of it after all the time that’s passed. Sure, I could probably talk to her. But it’s been almost four years since I left for college, and at this point, it feels ruder to say something than not.
I still don’t know what the hell I’m going to do when I see her again. I’ve known that she and my sister were transferring here for months, but knowing that Daphne’s in the same town as me feels surreal.
It’s been, like, two years since I saw her at their graduation. But I can picture her as clear as day in my mind as if it were yesterday. Even when I desperately wish I could forget about her, I can’t help but think that’s never truly going to happen.
That damn girl nestled into my heart when we were kids, and knowing her stubborn ass, she’s never going to leave completely. That, however, doesn’t change the fact that I fucked up any real chance with her at the end of my senior year.
