Page 90 of Switching Skates
She pets my head, running her hand over my hair to soothe me as we watch the soon-to-be Princess of Genovia, Mia Thermopolis Renaldi, slip and fall in between the bleachers at her high school.
“Do you want to be with him?” she asks as if it’s such a simple question.
I take too long to think, and she pokes me on the side of the head.
“What are you thinking?”
“That there’s no easy answer to that.”
“Why?” she asks, dumbfounded by my response.
I sigh. “Because I also used to want to be an astronaut figure skater as a kid, but I couldn’t exactly make that work regardless ofwhat I wanted.”
She bops my forehead gently. “Those are not the same thing.” I melt into her lap, and she turns my head to look up at her. “Do you want to be with him?”
Something wet rolls down my cheek, and it takes me a second to realize I’m crying. My eyes burn, and my throat feels clogged as I try to form words over and over, failing every time.
“Daphne Summers,” she snaps at me, and I sit up straight from her tone, turning to face her.
“What?” I murmur, scared at the angry mom voice that I just heard for the first time.
“Have you forgotten who you are? That you’re Daphne fucking Summers. A hot bitch who can get any man she wants. Who’s funny, smart, talented, and one hell of a woman.”
“Okay, but you’re my bestie. You have to think those things.” I roll my eyes, and a burst of stinging heat breaks across my cheek. It takes me a second to register what just happened as I cup my face. “Did you just slap me?”
She nods proudly.
The cloudiness that was drowning me out a moment ago does seem to clear up quite a bit from the shock.
“I needed that.”
“I know,” she agrees and moves on. “Now pull yourself out of this slump. It’s time to face the choir, babe.”
“That is such an old saying, Grandma.” I laugh.
She shrugs. “Now I’ll ask you one more time. Do you want to be with him? Don’t overthink it. Don’t analyze the possibilities. Just answer the question?—”
“Yes!” I interrupt her, and a dam behind my eyes breaks free, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall. “Yes, I want to be with him. More than anything. But?—”
Now she cuts me off, “But what? But there’s a chance it won’t work out? There’s a chance he’ll leave again, like last time?”
I nod slowly, folding my legs up into my chest.
She takes my hand in hers. “Honestly, Daph, I’ve never seen him like this. I’ve known himliterallymy entire life, and I know for a fact that he loves you and he’s not going anywhere if it’s up to him.”
“Wrong,” I correct her. “He is going somewhere. At the end of the year, he’s moving across the country for his pro team And then what? Do we live in a honeymoon bubble for a handful of months and then try to make long distance work? End thingswhen he moves? I can’t do that, Mae. I can’t face a heartbreak from him again. The last one was hard enough.”
She looks at me, a thousand emotions fluttering through her hazel eyes, and she shakes her head. “You, of all people, Daphne, are scared of love.” She scoffs and nearly laughs. “The girl who has dedicated years of her spare time watching romantic comedies and obsessing about finding a love like in the movies—she can’t even see that she’s in a story all her own. In the final act, where the two main characters find their way to one another, and regardless of what lies ahead, they choose each other because of their love, not because of the what-ifs.”
I sniffle, my breath quickening, as if the missing piece from my mind is finally sliding into place and I’m forced to face the truth that’s been there all along.
I’ve been in love with Mason for years, and that never changed. I just shriveled it up in the back of my mind and heart, trying to avoid it for as long as possible.
Because I’m scared, absolutely petrified. But not because I’m scared of loving him, but because I’m scared of him loving me.
What if he sees everything behind the curtain and decides that he doesn’t like all of me? What happens after the big finale kiss and the happily ever after? WhenThe Endappears on-screen and the movie ends, what’s next?
The movies don’t show us that. We don’t have a playbook for navigating life after the credits, and I think that’s what worries me most.
