Page 55 of Find Me in the Rain
My words fall from my lips before I even realize it. “Jack doesn’t know you’re his dad. He just thinks that you’re his mommy’s friend. And I don’t want to change that right now. At least, not tonight. Is that okay? If you want to come in. Which you totally don’t have to.” I cut my ramble off, trying to gather my thoughts.
Alec grabs my face in his hands, pulling my undivided attention to him. “First, I would love to come see him tonight. Second, I am just fine, pretending to be your friend right now, if that’s easier on you and him.”
I settle into his grasp, my eyes drifting shut.
He straightens my head up, making me open my eyes. “But let’s get one thing straight, Lu. I don’t want to be yourfriend.” He leans down until he’s less than an inch from my face, his eyes locked on my lips. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I want to be the one you turn to. The one to make you happy and to make you laugh. To hold you when you cry. I want to hear my name fall off your lips when I worship you. I want all of it. But I definitely don’t want you to ever think that I consider usjustfriends.”
My jaw is unhinged when he ends.
Alec really wants that? All of that?
It’s terrifying, giving someone your heart again. Especially knowing the pain it causes when it breaks.
But I know that walking away from this, from what’s growing between us, would be the biggest mistake of my life. I loved Alec. And I don’t know if I ever truly stopped.
I have no words for him to prove that that’s what I want too. So, I offer him all I can. “Kiss me.”
And fucking hell, he does just that.
The limo comes to a stop, and my heart is pounding, threatening to break through my rib cage. Alec helps me out of the limo, and we make our way up the sidewalk.
I know Jack already met Alec. But this is different. This time, it will be in our house, our home. He’s coming to check on Jack while he’s sick, vulnerable. The mom in me is saying that this is such a bad idea. That I should tell Alec to go home and that we can try this another time.
But every time is going to be scary. I have to stop living my life on the sidelines. I’ve been doing it since I had Jack. I sit back and watch all the excitement of life, never being in the middle of it.
That ends today.
Sliding my key in the lock, I think my heart is a beat away from exploding.
The second the door opens, Josh raises his hand, gesturing upstairs.
We quickly walk inside, and I slowly shut the door behind me, locking it. I slip my heels off and look at Alec, who already has his coat and shoes off. His hands are crossed, clasped at his belt.
Rocking back and forth on his heels, he whispers to me, “I can stay here if you want, Lu. Your pace.”
If we’re going to do this, we might as well go all the way.
“No, I want you with me.”
Without another word, I link my fingers in his and lead him upstairs. We pass the guest bath and my bedroom, stopping right outside Jack’s door.
I knock once and twist the handle. Before I can even open it, I can hear Jack’s pitter-patter to the door.
Jack’s sweet voice cracks when he says, “Mommy, you’re here!”
He wraps his arms around my legs. He gives me a hug and steps back. When he notices Alec, he tilts his head to the side.
Jack studies him for a moment, and then a lightbulb goes off. “You’re the guy from skating.”
Alec looks hesitantly at me before bending down to his knees. “Yeah, I am. Do you remember my name?”
Jack abruptly nods his head. I’m afraid he’ll give himself whiplash one of these times.
“Yep. Alec. With aC, not anX.” Jack smiles at him, standing up a little straighter.
I’m beginning to suspect that Jack was never really that sick. I reach out to place my wrist on his forehead.
This little shit.He’s not even warm.
