Page 37 of Status Undefined
January 4
(visa expires in 10 days)
After that conversation, we stopped talking about the heavy issues in our lives. Neither of us pushed and I was fine with that. We both needed to relax into some sort of routine, and I liked that we were doing everyday non-Instagram-worthy things together. You never see the heroes in movies going to get their hair cut together. Books can have pages and pages devoted to the color and texture of the leaves in the forest where the characters are walking, but haircuts never come up. It’s unfortunate. The mundane moments are important because they make up so much of our lives.
“You do know I’m afraid of barbers?”
Daniel and I were sitting in the waiting area of the barbershop. He was eyeing the barber in terror.
“Really? Why?” I asked as the barber snipped away briskly.
“They’re armed! Look – a whole arsenal!” Daniel pointed at the barber’s tools.
“And there’s that cape that fastens around your neck. You can’t move because you might cause your own death – oops, the scissors nick your jugular and it’s your own fault. A barber that doesn’t like you can take you out in a flash, or worse, make you look so terrible you want to jump off the Empire State building. When I was in India, a barber beat me on the back and called it massage. And in Mexico the barber nearly burned me alive with a steaming hot towel! I’m telling you. They’re assassins.”
“How about the dentist? Are you scared?”
“That’s different. They don’t hide the fact that they’re going to hurt you, or that it gives them pleasure. You willingly submit to the pain and that makes it less scary. Barbers, on the other hand, are disguised as nice people who just want to have a chatwhen you can’t hear what they’re saying because the clippers are mowing your scalp.”
I submitted to the pain of losing you soon, but it doesn’t make it less scary. No… I didn’t say that out loud.
“Maybe they’re managing their aggression by expressing it in a legitimate service to society?” I said instead.
“Next thing you’ll say I have a death wish because I get my hair cut a lot?”
“No. You’re just crazy.”
“Crazy about you?” he whispered in my ear.
I rolled my eyes.
“You’ll get used to it,” he said when he saw my reaction.
“I don’t think you’ll be here long enough for me to get used to it.”
He looked at me in silence. I’d hit a nerve. We had to – simply had to – stay focused on the present.
“Next!” the barber saved us from getting into it. Daniel went over nervously, as if he were approaching the gallows.
Does it make sense to go on as normal when decisions have to be made and problems must be faced?
I thought I saw Daniel shiver when the barber got near his ear with the clippers. I felt a bit sorry for him.
Afterwards we walked in the direction of the mall. I wondered if Daniel was always this quiet after a haircut. But he held my hand, and I understood what he couldn’t articulate.
Inside the mall I steered us to my favorite bookstore.
“Do you read books?” Not to be judgmental, but I didn’t think Instagram-influencers were major library users.
“I listen to books. Much better.”
“What do you mean listen to books?”
“Audiobooks – recorded readings. Even someone who can’t read can listen to books.”
“You think that people who can’t read buy recorded books?” I tried not to sound too critical.
“Yes. Makes sense, no?”
