Page 65 of Emerald Moon
Jo tried to say they didn’t, but their bottom lip started trembling, and they nodded.“I do.Today’s been a lot of good and a lot of awful.But I hurt you and you shouldn’t be the one reaching out because —“
Cass wrapped her arms around Jo and tugged them close to her chest.Jo hugged her back, pressing their face into her crisp, white shirt.“I’m sorry.I’m sorry.”
”What happened?”
”You shouldn’t be comforting me.”Jo tried to pull away, but Cass held them tight.
”Everything else aside, we’re still friends, right?And friends don’t let friends go to bed sad.What happened, Jo?What made you want to leave so quickly?”
Jo replayed what they’d said in their mind, feeling both proud and anxious.The dam broke.Jo went from a few tears trickling down their cheek to sobbing in the middle of the hotel hallway.
Cass guided Jo down the hallway.She kept one arm wrapped around them and got a hold of their wallet with the other.It took a few tries to do it with one hand, but she got the hotel key and managed to open the door to her room.Stepping backwards, she pulled Jo in with her, and they went willingly, too embarrassed to stay in the hallway any longer.
Through tears, a runny nose, and some sobbing-induced hiccups, Jo told Cass everything that had happened with their mom lately, in the past, and what had happened at the end of the night.It all came out, rushing together out of order as memories popped into their mind.Hearing it all out loud made it sound worse, but Jo kept reminding themselves that it wasn’t that bad, that they could deal with it, that they were bothering Cass after already making things worse.
But when Cass hugged them again, their brain went quiet.Cass held Jo and pressed her cheek against the top of their head.Jo caught their breath.The hiccups stopped.They sagged against Cass and slowly breathed in and out.
“No one should make you feel that way,” Cass said.
Jo felt too wrung out to reply.They nodded against Cass’ body and wrapped their arms around her tighter.
”Thank you for telling me.I bet it wasn’t easy.”She was quiet for a moment, then added, “See?You’re brave, too.”
”It’s not bravery.I’m being the worst.”
”You’re not the worst.”
Jo sat with her words for a moment.“I’m still sorry for earlier.”
”Do you regret it?”
”If I hurt you, I do.”
”You didn’t hurt me.I just needed some space to think for a little while.”
”Then I don’t regret it, but I wish I could figure myself out faster.”
”Take your time.We’ve got a lot of it.”
Jo opened their mouth to protest, but decided not to.“Thank you,” they said instead.
Cass fell backwards on the bed, landing with a thump on the plush comforter.“Sometimes I think it’d be easier if we were wolves all the time.”
Jo flopped backwards, joining Cass on the bed, their legs dangling over the side.They folded their hands over their stomach and stared up at the ceiling.“We’d still have our human brains in there, though, messing everything up.”
”Maybe we’ve got it all wrong, though.Maybe wolves also have family issues and drama that the other wolves whisper about.”
Despite the way the evening had gone, Jo laughed.“Wolf drama.”
”We don’t know what it’s like for them!They’ve got some pretty complex dynamics.”
”Maybe we could be birds, then.”
”Birds absolutely have drama.Have you ever seen two hummingbirds going for the same feeder?Ferociously dramatic.And then there’s all the wild male colors.That’s drama of the highest degree, and I just know they’re talking about who’s with whom and who built the best nest or something.”
They continued talking about wolves and birds and the kinds of things they’d gossip about, until the conversation grew slower and sleepier.Jo had every intention of leaving when they got too tired, but one moment they were discussing bird relationship drama and the next the sun was peeking through the hotel curtains and Jo was curled up on Cass’ bed, their knees tucked in towards their chest.
This was totally an only one bed situation.While they hadn’t been forced into this proximity by a mistake on the hotel’s part or there being only one room left, they were still sharing a bed.And it felt fine?Jo wasn’t sure, and they checked their mind for signs of some seismic shift, but their heart rate was steady, their breathing was calm, and they were able to look at Cass without feeling nervous.
