Page 64 of Emerald Moon
With Cass behind her, Jo found June saying good night and thank you to some extended family members Jo only vaguely recognized.They didn’t want to interrupt, but they kept looking around to make sure their mother wasn’t anywhere close.
It was hard to ignore how far Cass stayed behind them, too.It was a far cry from how they were at the start of the night.Jo wished, not for the first time, that they could just react to things like a normal person.
They made eye contact with their sister and she nodded her final good nights and made her way over.Despite all the other emotions welling up inside of them, Jo felt love blooming in their chest, too.They rushed forward and enveloped her in a tight hug, the lace of her bodice pressing against Jo’s arms.
She laughed and returned the gesture, wrapping her arms around Jo’s back.“Feeling sentimental?”
“Something like that,” Jo replied.“I’m just glad we’re both here, that you just got married, that some things are really, really good right now.”
“I’m glad you’re here, too.”
Jo kept their head tucked over her shoulder because it made everything easier to say when they weren’t looking her in the eyes.“I’m going to do a better job of keeping in touch.A text isn’t hard.I can text.”
“It’s a two-way street.I haven’t done great, either.A text is easy, though.You’re right.”
“I miss being close like we were.I know things aren’t ideal but —“
“I know.I miss it, too.Life marched on and we all did our best.We’re both doing our best.I know why you got away from all this and I don’t blame you, but I do miss you.”
Jo held her tighter before pulling away, wiping at their eyes.“I really enjoyed your wedding.You throw a good fancy party.”
She grinned.“Thanks.You clean up nice.”
“Even goblins can make it to the fancy party once in a while.”
“If you’re a goblin, then I’m a gremlin in a fancy dress.”
”You said it, not me, but I do agree.”
They both laughed and Jo felt years of a very specific kind of loneliness slipping away.“I promise I’ll text more.”
“Me, too.Promise.”
June glanced over towards Cass.“Don’t you be a stranger either!”She walked over and threw her arms around Cass’ shoulders.“Thank you for coming with Jo.Thanks for being there for them.”
“Of course.I’d do anything for them.”
Jo felt heavy at the words, the weight of their guilt pressing down on their shoulders.They knew it was true.Cass would do anything for them.And all Jo could do was hurt her.
She stepped back to give Cass some space.“That’s what I like to hear!Seriously, though, if they’re ever talking to me and you want to say hi, I’d be happy to talk more than we could tonight.I was busy with all the getting married and everything.”
The three of them said their good nights and Jo and June shared one final hug before the two of them were outside the ballroom in the quiet hallway.
“Thank you for everything — for coming with me, for being here, just thank you.And I’m sorry for making things weird.It’s an awful way to be grateful.”Jo dragged their feet as they walked back to their rooms.
”It’s fine.I made things weird, too.”
Jo wrung their hands together as they rocked on the balls of their feet.This was their chance to talk about everything, but how could they when they weren’t even sure how they felt?Still, they thought they owed Cass something.“About what you said earlier?I’m sorry for how I reacted.It was a really lovely thing to say.“ Jo inwardly cringed at their own words, but they couldn’t think of anything better.“And I’m sorry I can’t say it back.It’s not a never.It’s a not right now.”
”I understand.You have nothing to apologize for.I can be a little intense.I know this about myself.”
”You’re sincere!That’s a good thing.You feel something and you go for it.Meanwhile I kiss you as some sort of test?I don’t know.Now I feel awful that I led you on.”
Cass didn’t say anything right away.Her lips were a thin, straight line across her face.
“I’m sorry.You deserve better than that.”Their voice cracked.The backs of their eyes stung with the threat of tears.
”I hope I’m not overstepping, but you look like you could use another hug.”
