Page 29 of Capacity
“Whatever, Lumi. That man is feeling you and you’re feeling him too. If you say anything other than Coco you’re right…you’re lying.”
“I’m not lying and I’m not feeling him.”
“I’m married but I have eyes. He’s fine as hell. Those blue eyes and that smile, girl…”
I snuffed out the budding irritation in my chest after listening to the way Coco drooled over Knight. “He’s fine. I know that. I’m not looking for a relationship though.”
“Who said you had to be in one? You can just get the dick and move on.” We laughed for a few seconds then she said, “I’m just playing because I would never advise you to fuck your boss but come on, Lumi I know you have cobwebs in your pussy. Let somebody clear them out.”
“Oh my god, you are so vulgar!” I laughed loudly.
“It’s true though. I don’t see you denying it. Oh, and by the way, I can’t remember the last time I heard you laugh like this. I don’t know what kind of relationship you and Mr. Cunningham have but it’s doing you some good.”
“We actually decided last night to call each other by our first names.” My cheeks tingled from heat.
“Oh wow, is that first base in your book? Second base is the froze yogurt?”
“Fuck you, Cora,” I laughed, tossing my head back and letting the sound billow in the air. She was right. I had been laughing a lot more. Guilt immediately crumpled my sunshine. It took a knife to my throat, reminding me that Kaiden wasn’t here to listen to my laugh anymore. He wasn’t here to see the new house or pick out a room. He would never get to meet Knight and know that awesome men did exist.
“Ooh, and you calledmevulgar. Look, I gotta go pick up some ingredients from the store but send me pictures of what you wear on your not-date with your not-man Mr. Cunningham.”
“His name is Knight,” I told her. A small smile budded on my lips regardless of being trapped beneath the dead weight of my guilt.
“Knight Cunningham? Lumi, he’s practically a freaking prince.” She paused to gasp then said, “Your knight in shining armor!”
“Goodbye, Cora.”
“Don’t hang up on—”
End call.
I loved her but if I smiled any harder my cheeks would pop. I knew she wouldn’t hold it against me. It was the kind of banter we were used to. It shaped our unbreakable sisterhood. If I couldn’t joke with her and if she couldn’t poke fun at me, I probably would remain depressed and lonely. Knowing that no matter what, my girl would give me tough love, tell me the truth, and make me laugh made life a little more bearable.
…
CHAPTER 8
I pulled into Lumi’s driveway at seven on the nose. I told her that’s when I’d be there and I never broke a promise. More importantly, I never wanted to break one to her.
I was a nervous kid again sitting in my car prepping to ring the doorbell.
Calm down, Knight. This isn’t a date.
Lumi was the most beautiful woman I’d seen since Hazel though. She was a goddess. Every time I was near her my hands disobeyed logic and reached out to feel her hazelnut silk against my skin. I wanted to devour her when we were having breakfast in my office this morning. I came dangerously close to ruining a friendship for something I knew I wasn’t ready for. After hearing Lumi talk about her son’s father I knew she wasn’t ready for anything other than friendship either. I’d never lead her on knowing I wasn’t the man she needed.
I grabbed the bags of groceries from the back seat and walked up the steps to the porch. I balanced the three bags in one arm then rang the doorbell. Nerves took over after that.
I couldn’t remember going to a woman’s house since losing Hazel. If I did go, I was probably drunk and blacked out shortly afterward. Most of the time I fucked women at hotels or at home before calling them an Uber.
I shuddered thinking about eighteen-year-old Sky Lebowitz in my house one month ago. I’d hit rock bottom and didn’t even see it coming.
I wanted to continue beating myself up for all the stupid ass decisions I’d made since my wife died but my brain stuttered then went silent when Lumi opened the door. My eyes took a million photos at once so my nonfunctioning brain could remember the way she looked right then.
Stunning.
Breath-taking.
Gorgeous.
