Page 34 of Bear
“I don’t want to have a conversation,” she said defiantly.
“Well, we’re going to have one, Luanne. This isn’t a negotiation. I’m not going to stand by while you deteriorate because you want to be stubborn and neither is Cecily. She’s been through a lot and the least you can do is figure out what’s going on with yourself for her sake, yours, Mr. Paul’s…and mine.” Mom looked at Bear and sighed heavily, her spine relaxed and she nodded enough to satiate him.
I don’t think he could stand any more emotion right then. It was too much for him. He had to busy himself so he left the room. Once I was alone with my mother, I shook my head.
“I think Bear is worried about you, Mom.”
“I know he is. He only gets like this when he’s worried. Doesn’t happen often but it happens.”
“I never thought Bear worried about anything,” I muttered.
“He worries about the people close to him. That’s it. Nothing else. Me, you, Paul and his daddy.”
“Me?” I laughed a little and stood by the window staring at the beautiful cypress trees in the backyard.
“You. He looks out for you so much because you’re the closest person to him, Cecily.” My mind found its hopeless way back to the kiss in his bedroom and I toyed with the ends of my hair to disperse the nervous energy building in the pit of my stomach.
“Do you think Bear is capable of loving anyone?” I asked her.
“I don’t know. Those hugs he used to give me when he was little told me he had the biggest heart in the world. I’ve never seen him love anyone though.” I wondered if she could tell that if Bear loved anyone in the world it was her.
“He’s pretty fond of you, Mom.”
“You think so?” She chuckled.
“I do. That’s why he wants you to get checked out as much as I do.” She rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. I didn’t push because one way or another, she was taking her ass to the doctor. She scared the fuck out of me earlier and I needed to know what we were dealing with.
“Let me help you out around here today, Mom,” I said.
“Fine. Just…don’t make me feel helpless, Cecily.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
BEAR
I was glad I put off my business meetings until later. My mind needed time to stretch and soak in all the information presented in the past twenty-four hours. I went into the library and sat in silence.
Slowly and methodically, I unwound everything.
I plucked apart Cecily waiting up in bed for me last night. I shredded into the relief I got when I laid beside her. It was more potent than sex with any random woman. When I held her in my arms, I fell asleep.
I fell asleep.
I didn’t need pills, sex, or workouts. It seemed the only thing my restless mind needed was Cecily.
My brain wrapped around Luanne’s memory loss and the thought choked me until I felt like I wouldn’t be able to take another breath. The thought of something happening to her made me uncomfortable. So I planned to make sure nothing fucking happened to her. She would be okay. She just needed to talk to a capable doctor who would diagnose and help her.
The only thing left to really chew on was Cecily. I knew without a doubt that I wanted her. I had no idea when the hunger arose but it was there and it was making itself very fucking known. I’d always been protective over her but now I recognized it as possessiveness wearing a poor excuse for a mask.
Cecily was mine.
I didn’t know what that meant though. I’d only had one girlfriend in my life and that was because I thought it was the thing to do. I thought since I was in high school that I was supposed to have a girlfriend. I realized when she got upset over other girls sucking my dick that the whole monogamy thing wasn’t for me.
Now, here I was staring down the fact that I wanted someone too good for me to even breathe at. Someone who was supposed to be my little sister. My friend.
My thoughts were knocked from my head when the object of my desire poked her pretty little head in the library. “Hey, Bear, you okay up here?”
“I’m good. What’s up? Did your dad get here yet?”
