Page 35 of Bear
“Not yet. I just wanted to check on you. I helped Mom do the dishes and now she’s sitting down watching TV while the laundry is in the washer.” She eased into the room and already, I could breathe easier.
“Come here,” I told her, pointing to my lap. She blinked at me a few times then moved closer. I looked up at her waiting for her to sit down. She knew I hated to be kept waiting.
“You’re serious?”
“Very.” She laughed and settled in my lap. “Good girl.”
“Bear, you can’t do shit like this. You can’t kiss me and not tell me how you feel but order me in your lap and…” Her words fell away when my fingers traced the outline of her slender neck. I was fascinated by Cecily once I allowed myself to think about her outside of the perfect doll I was never allowed to touch. Once I realized how much I needed her to operate.
I hadn’t realized how much our regular conversations and text messages back and forth meant to me. I didn’t know they were little gems of sunshine keeping me going. I didn’t know until the sunshine had been snatched out of her eyes and replaced with sadness.
“What do you want me to say to you, baby doll?” I asked, moving my fingers away from her silky cinnamon skin.
“I want to know what the fuck is going on between us. We’ve been nothing but friends for years. Nothing but brother and sister. Belle and the Beast.”
“The devil and the angel,” I said, wrapping tendrils of her ebony hair around my fingers.
“You know what I mean. I used to have such a huge crush on you but I always stamped it out before it grew because I knew you didn’t do girlfriends. You didn’t do hand-holding and slow kisses. You didn’t do…love.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of Fruity Pebbles for a moment.
She was right. I didn’t do love. I didn’t do feelings and emotions. Not the way she wanted and deserved.
“I know. I do late-night threesomes, not long-term girlfriends. I do choking and biting instead of holding hands and slow kisses. I do sin and blood. Not love. Never love, Cecily.”
“Then why did you tell me that kiss wasn’t a mistake? You already know what I’m going to want, Bear.” Tears danced in her eyes at the prospect of wanting something she thought she’d never have.
“It wasn’t a fucking mistake. I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, Cecily. Even when I was too young to know what beauty was…I thought you were special. I’m twenty-fucking-seven and I’m just now realizing all these years I’ve been protecting you and keeping you out of harm’s way was how I dealt with wanting you. I’ve always wanted you.”
“Youwantme…” She lowered her chin and snared me in her cognac stare. My chest squeezed. Her lashes were long and thick and they were the perfect frames for her eyes. I just knew I’d tip headfirst and drown inside them if I kept looking at her. “Bear you’ve got to use more words than that. I’m not a mind reader. You want me to sit on your lap and kiss you? You want me to be your little sister when it’s convenient so you don’t have to deal with how you feel? Or you want something more?”
“I don’t think I can tell you exactly what I want.” I dragged my fingertips down her arm and watched goosebumps fan out immediately.
My dick thickened in my slacks the more I watched her react to something as simple as my touch.
“You just want to fuck me? Is that it, Bear?”
“No,” I growled. “You’re too good for that. You’re too good forme. I’d rather frame you so I can stare at you forever than to take you down and get my black fingerprints all over you, Cecily.”
“You have to stop thinking like that,” she said, frustration ripe in her tone. “What if you put aside whatever garbage your father has built up in your head and made your own choices? What if I told you that you’re more than what he tells you?” She touched my face and I felt the empty space beneath my ribs rumble. It was getting harder to fight every time she did that.
How the hell did I ignore her for so long? She was so pretty. She was so kind. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
“I know who I am, Cecily and I can’t ever be what you need me to be.”
“Why not? Who’s to say you’re not already everything I need? There’s a reason I haven’t been serious with any other man.” The thought of her being with anyone else sent red-hot spikes through my veins. “Sometimes we’re only made for one person, Bear.” She leaned down and placed her lips on mine. I couldn’t fight her anymore. She made me weak.
I hated it.
I craved it too.
I gripped her soft hair in my fist and deepened our hungry kiss. I’d never kissed anyone the way I kissed her. She was caramel on my tongue and I wanted to lick and suck on her until she dissolved into me and rolled down my throat.
I was rough when I grabbed her waist and turned her to straddle me. My cock strained to get to her. Thinking about Cecily’s pussy wrapped around my dick made me want to come in my fucking pants.
A single knock on the library door made her jump out of my lap like a scared kitten. She moved across the room in time for Shadow to walk in with Sarah on his hip.
“What’s good yall?” He smiled at us and set Sarah on her unsteady feet.
