Page 8 of Defect
“I don’t know. I just know that Malachi needs to be able to get in contact with me or 911.”
“I’ve never been is such a difficult position before. I want to get Malachi out of that house so I’m with you. I just…I worry about you. You’ve already been through hell with this man, Solana. He busted your lip and broke your jaw.” Her voice trembled under the weight of the memories. I knew it hurt her to see me in the hospital. I knew she wanted me far away from Vince too.
“I know that. He hurt Malachi too. I can’t stand by knowing that this child is being abused and turn a blind eye. If I could, I’d put a bullet in Vince’s brain and adopt Malachi myself.” Conviction vibrated through my body. I envisioned pressing the cold barrel of a gun to Vince’s temple and pulling the trigger with ease. The fantasy brought me so much joy.
“I get it. I do. I love Malachi too. I only wish you wouldn’t walk into the devil’s den the way you do.”
“It’s terrifying but I’d rather be Vince’s punching bag than let him beat up on Malachi. He’s only six, Amaris. How many more hits before he doesn’t get up anymore?” One of my biggest fears was waking up to news stories of a child being beaten to death. I always turned on the news to check. It was a sinking, helpless feeling.
“I know. You’re right, Solana. You’re so right and you’re so brave but understand where I’m coming from as your big sister. Please be careful. I’m doing all I can to get CPS to open a case of welfare. Once they do, we can start the process of removal from the home but I have to warn you it can take a while.”
“Then I’ll be protecting him for a while,” I countered.
“God, sometimes I wish you weren’t so feisty. You’re a yogi. You meditate and use essential oils and crystals. You really should be more calm and tranquil.”
I smiled begrudgingly and shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll balance my foot up Vince’s ass while I balance my chakras. Don’t let the Namaste fool you.” I crossed my legs and wagged my foot back and forth.
“I’ll talk to Malachi’s teacher and see if he’s complained about anything or if she’s noticed anything. So far this week he’s been hungry, sleepy, unkempt, and he’s had scratches on his neck.” My heart slipped a little in my chest listening to her read me notes from reports his teacher made.
“I swear Vince doesn’t deserve air. How could you hurt a child? Your own flesh and blood? If I didn’t think I’d get my ass thrown in jail, I’d kidnap Malachi and make a run for it. I’m trying to be smart about this.” I rubbed the tight spot in the middle of my chest and inhaled slowly.
“Are you? You gave a six-year-old a phone and you snuck into your abusive ex’s house to rock his son to sleep.” I could tell Amaris was torn and fed up and I knew I was stressing her out. I didn’t want to disturb her energy because I knew it was tough to get energy back on track once someone threw it off. So I stood to my feet and clasped my hands in front of me.
“I’m not going to bother you anymore, sis. Please keep an eye on him today though.”
“I will. You know it. You be careful.”
“I’m good. Trust me. I’m spiritually protected.” I raised my necklace up and a beautiful chunk of amethyst glittered in the sunlight that filtered through her office windows.
“Okay, Mother Earth. I’ll call you when school lets out.” She waved at me and I left her office. I lingered in the hall near Malachi’s class for a few moments. I couldn’t help thinking about how it would be if I did take him and run. I knew he wasn’t biologically mine but it sure as hell felt like it. I felt all the pain and heartache of leaving him in school when I didn’t know how his night would go or if his father would ignore him and the fact that he needed to eat.
I forced one foot in front of the other until I was standing outside on the sidewalk. I had to force myself to get in my car and pull off. If not, I would have risked taking matters into my own hands.
…
When I left Malachi’s school, I went home to take a shower, grab a coffee, and get ready for work.
After I left Vince, I took every penny I had and bought a cozy building in the historic district near Radcliff Community College where I taught yoga and meditation classes. I opened my own yoga studio, Sun Goddess Yoga, and I was content. I didn’t have a ton of money or customers but I was still a new business. I hadn’t even been open for a year.
Once I was dressed in a pair of white leggings and a yellow tank top, I swept my long hair up into a bun and slid on a yellow headband. There was nothing more beautiful than yellow and white against my milk chocolate skin. I stopped to smile at myself in the mirror because if I didn’t, who would? Besides, I had been glowing ever since I left Vince.
I made it my duty to build myself up after the abuse I endured. It wasn’t anyone else’s job to help me find my center again. I had to do it no matter how long and hard the journey was. So sometimes I liked to smile at myself in the mirror.
I made a cup of coffee while I ran through my checklist of what I needed before I set foot out the door. I had my duffle bag, my airpods, a change of clothes in case I got sweaty and needed to take a shower at the studio, and two huge bottles of water. I was ready to go by the time my coffee was done. I didn’t even bother with sugar or the vegan cream I loved so much because as tired as I was, I needed all the caffeine I could pour into my veins.
Sun Goddess Yoga was five minutes away from my house. I could have walked there if I thought I had enough mental coordination but I was way too groggy for that. I pulled up in front of the pretty bay window and smiled again. I loved the huge yellow sun cling that decorated my storefront window. I’d picked the perfect location for the studio. It was nestled right in the middle of all the downtown Radcliff charm. Sun Goddess offered the perfect little pop of yellow to the adorable strip of stores and businesses.
I went inside and turned on the news while I sipped on piping hot coffee. Even though I dropped Malachi off at school myself, I still watched the news to see if Vince was stupid enough to hurt himself or anyone else. That man was a menace and I wouldn’t feel safe until he was dead or behind bars.
“Students at Inglewood High School continue to mourn the death of their football captain Everett Fredericks who was killed in an accident last month. The students and faculty have chosen to rename their annual Halloween dance to honor the fallen football star. Starting this year, the dance will be called the Everett Fredericks Dance.
Fredericks was killed last month when a truck driver, asleep at the wheel, rear-ended the vehicle he was riding in. When we come back we’ll give you information on a frightening new bill passed in several states. Stay tuned.” I sighed at the TV and changed the channel to something else. Hearing about kids losing their lives hurt my heart.
The news story about the car crash made my chest ache in a way I wasn’t used to. It was horribly sad but something else thrummed and sobbed inside of me. I couldn’t imagine the pain his mother must have been going through. To lose a son so young while he had such a great future ahead of him had to be devastating.
I was going to have to meditate for a while before my energy was level again.
…
