Page 39 of Defect
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed her name. I had several sunflower emojis next to her name because that’s exactly what she reminded me of. I held the phone to my ear and shut my eyes praying that she answered.
“Hey, Ezra. What’s wrong?” She asked like she knew I wasn’t okay.
“Solana…I need you,” I said. I tried my best to keep my voice together. I tried not to give into everything trying to tear me apart.
“Where are you?” She asked with urgency coating her words.
“My old house.”
“Where’s your mom?”
“She left. I can’t do this shit alone.”
“Text me the address, Ezra.” I could hear her shuffling around on the other end then I heard the dinging of her car. My fingers flew over my keyboard. I sent her my location and she said, “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a little while. You want me to stay on the phone with you until I get there?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Okay.” She kept her promise and stayed on the phone with me until she pulled into the driveway of my old house. “I’m here,” she said. “Open the door.” I’d never been so relieved before in my fucking life. Solana was a hit of oxygen when I was suffocating.
We stood in the doorway staring at each other for a few beats before she crashed into me. Her scent made me shut my eyes so I could lose myself. I wanted to be anywhere but there.
“She left you here by yourself to clean out your brother’s room?” She asked, touching my face. She wiped the sheen of sweat from my forehead.
“Yeah. I thought I would be okay but this shit is hard, Solo.” I closed the door behind her and she slid her palm against mine, lacing our fingers together.
“You shouldn’t have to do this alone.”
“I’m sorry I called you all the way over here. I didn’t even ask if you were busy.”
“If I was busy, I wouldn’t have answered. I’m here for you,” she told me. I felt the sincerity coming from her and it drilled through the ice block in my chest.
She was there for me. She was the only person I knew I could call who would come. She showed me what a true friend was. The only other person who would have dropped everything for me was Everett.
“Show me his room,” she said giving my hand a squeeze. “We’ll do this together. I’ll be gone by the time your mother gets back.” I nodded and took her upstairs. Everett’s door didn’t seem so intimidating with her beside me.
It amazed me how much presence such a little woman had.
“Wow,” Solana said as she approached the bed and saw the collage. “This is amazing. Is this you?” She asked with a smile. She pointed to one of the many pictures.
“No, that’s Everett,” I chuckled sadly.
“Oh my god. I just knew I’d be able to tell y’all apart. I suck.” She pulled her long black hair up into a ponytail on top of her head and took her shoes off. Seeing her get so comfortable in a room that nearly made me take my own life was amazing. She sat in the lotus position on Everett’s bed and I sat beside her. For the first time since he died, I didn’t feel like I’d slip off into the depths of the ocean being in his space without him.
“It’s okay. It’s your first time seeing him.”
“He was so handsome.” Her smile was sad. She reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. I felt her palm heat up and I sighed. Solana felt like home. She felt like comfort. Like a warm bed and my favorite blanket.
“Thanks,” I gave a dry chuckle.
“I can see the difference between his eyes and yours. He was so…”
“Alive?”
“Yeah but so are you. He was vibrant and charismatic. You’re quiet and constant.”
“He was always charismatic. Everybody loved Ev. He was friends with everyone from jocks to geeks.”
“He was fun,” she smiled, rocking from side to side. I loved how bouncy and upbeat her energy was. I don’t remember ever being able to feel energy before Solana but I could definitely feel it now and hers was addictive.
