Page 37 of Defect
“I know you’re looking out for him but what’s the harm in letting him see if he likes the job or not?” Mom and had no choice but to force a smile on her face.
“I’d love the job. Anything to get out of the house,” I said.
“Come by the studio on Monday. I also teach classes at the community college. We can talk about getting you in for night classes.” She winked at me and then waved at my mother. “My yoga studio is right up the street. It’s the only one in Radcliff. I’ll see you on Monday, Ezra.” I was busy staring at her ass unashamedly as she bounced across the street. She was a tiny thing but she was carrying that ass like an Amazon.
“I see the way you’re looking at her. She’s a grown woman and she wants nothing to do with you. You’re not going to be able to have a normal life with girlfriends and things like that, Ezra. You need to start wrapping your head around that and not drooling over the neighbor.”
“She’s beautiful. I can look.” I stared at Solana until she disappeared behind her door. Then I got up and stalked over to my mother’s car. My chest tightened like it always did whenever I had to sit in the front seat and click my seatbelt in place.
“I’ll drive you to her yoga studio tomorrow so we can see how far it is from the house and what time they open. I don’t know about you getting a job that I can’t pick you up from and drop you off at though.” At that point, I stopped listening to her. I stared out of the window thinking about Solana and how no matter how much I wanted her I couldn’t have her.
The minute she was in my hands she’d be stained by my storm. She’d be wrecked by my damage. I had to protect her from me. That was one thing Mom was right about. I probably would never be able to have a normal life or be in a serious relationship. Hell, I was lucky to have the friendship I had with Solana.
I was beyond lucky.
I couldn’t believe the way she stuck up for me. I couldn’t believe that my mother didn’t read her the riot act for speaking directly to me like I was an actual human being and not a fucking puppy.
“Did you hear me, Ezra?” Mom’s sharp voice snatched me back to reality.
“What?” I frowned. My brows crashed together on my forehead.
“I’ll let you know if I think you should take this job or not. You don’t get to decide.”
“Why not?” I asked her.
“Because you’re going to make the decision based off of a pretty girl. I need to know if the job will be easy enough for you to comprehend.”
“I can comprehend just fine.”
“That’s what you think until you get into a situation that makes you angry and you fly off the handle instead of making a rational decision. I keep telling you that your brain isn’t the same anymore. You’re rash and volatile.”
“A real fucking monster, huh, Ma?” My jaw flexed rapidly while I stared out of the window. I didn’t want to look at her because seeing her face would only serve to piss me off more.
“You are a monster. Everett would have never spoken to me the way you do.”
“I’m not Everett,” I growled.
“I know. Every day I wish you were.” She pulled into the driveway of our Inglewood home and I felt like I would explode with rage and sorrow. The way it swirled and mixed inside of me made it hard to breathe.
I was silent as I exited the car, slamming the door behind me. The sedan rocked side to side from the force behind my hand. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re so hyped up on anger that you don’t know how to reel yourself back in. I can’t get you to go to church on Sundays and all you do is sit in the house.”
“Because that’s all you let me do!”
“That’s all I trust you to do!” She snapped back, walking around the car.
“Damn, Defect. You’re still around? I thought we beat your ass bad enough for you to run away with your mother and never come back. You don’t learn huh?” The guy who started the fight with me before I moved to Radcliff appeared out of nowhere. He looked at me then glanced over at my mother who started at her fumbling fingers.
“I don’t have time for this bullshit today. I don’t even know your name and you want to get your ass beat?” I fumed.
“Ezra, ignore him and go in the house.”
“That’s right, Ezra. Ignore me and go in the house before I call my boys and we finish the job. I feel like stomping you out early in the morning. Maybe we can put you out of your misery and send you with your twin.”
“What did you say?” I asked, erasing the space between me and the asshole talking shit on the sidewalk.
“Ezra! Go in the house!” Mom shouted, pressing her hands to my chest. She shoved me backward a few paces but all I saw was red. I was tired of everything and everyone. When I got close enough to reach out and grab the motherfucker at the end of the driveway, he ran off. Without backup he was nothing and he knew I would beat his ass relentlessly.
“You can’t keep jumping at every fight like a damn dog!”
