Page 88 of Margot
“Nothing,” he lied. He opened the door for me and I walked in with guilt settling into my bones. I signed in and took a seat beside Lennox. He was already thumbing through a magazine.
Even though he didn’t say anything, I felt a shift between us. Heat pricked my neck and I squirmed in my seat. “Lennox, what’s wrong?” I asked. He closed the magazine and looked at me as if the words he was searching for were written on my face.
“I’m beyond happy that you’re getting the splint off, Sutton and I know you can’t wait to play the piano but I can’t help feeling like you’ll pull away once you can lose yourself in your music.” The sadness in his voice was palpable.
“I guess I can’t be mad at that assumption but we’ve come so far. I’ve come so far. I don’t want to bury my head in the sand again.”
“I know. I guess it’s hard not to worry about things slipping back into the way they used to be.” I knew I couldn’t change his mind with words. He was beyond pretty words that didn’t mean anything.
I held his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles. I ignored every stupid buzzing noise or red flag in my mind because I knew now that it wasn’t Lennox that put those things there.
It was DuBois.
“I love you, Sutton.”
“I love you too, Lennox.” I hoped he knew how true that statement was. I was about to say more but my name was being called. Lennox and I went in the back and were escorted into a small, quiet room with one window and an exam bed on the left side.
“The doctor will be in shortly to see you, Mrs. English,” the nurse smiled at me and of course she beamed at Lennox. It didn’t even faze me at that point. I just wanted to get my split off so I could prove to Lennox he wouldn’t become an afterthought once I was playing the piano again.
“Thank you for coming with me today, Lennox.”
“Like I’d miss the happiness on your face. I’m so recording this.” He pulled out his phone and aimed it at me. Of course, I went all wide-eyed.
“Oh my god. Don’t record me.” I held my hand in front of my face but he maneuvered around it.
“Why not? Maybe Margot wants to see the splint come off too. I can show her later.”
“She probably won’t be out front tonight. Or at least I don’t think she will,” I stammered a bit. I knew for certain that whenever I felt stressed, Margot showed up to save the day. Whenever I wanted to have sex with Lennox but got too overwhelmed, she popped in and I was able to ghost ride through the experience. The better we got at communicating the easier it was for me to sense her in the background.
“Oh yeah? You planning on hitting the piano when we get home?” Lennox asked.
“I am but I’m also hoping that I won’t be as nervous tonight with you as I’ve been in the past when Margot had to take control.”
“Is that right?” He lifted an eyebrow and I felt my fingers playing notes in the air. He made me swoon every time he looked at me like that. “I don’t want you feeling pressured to do anything.”
I splayed my fingers flat on the exam table and sighed heavily. “I don’t feel like I’m being pressured. I want to work through my apprehension.”
“Okay. Fair enough. Let me know what you need from me.” We shared a look before the doctor came in the room staring down at his laptop.
“Mrs. English, nice to see you again. I hear we’re taking this splint off your finger once and for all. It’s been a long eight weeks, huh?” He smiled at me and set the computer down on the counter before examining my hand.
I chewed nervously on my bottom lip when he began removing the splint. I couldn’t stop my feet from wiggling back and forth if I wanted to. I was finally getting that thing off my hand.
The excitement was too much to contain. A smile inched across my face and pushed my cheeks up so far that they burned.
When the doctor pulled the splint off, I looked down at my finger, amazed that I could actually see it. It was pale and stiff but it was out of that splint and it didn’t hurt anymore.
“Okay, I want to get some x-rays and then I want to see how well you can move it. That’ll determine if you’ll need physical therapy,” he said.
“Okay, sounds good,” I nodded, still smiling. It wasn’t until the doctor left the room and I looked over at Lennox that I noticed he’d been recording me the entire time. His face was lit up like a thousand fireflies as he lowered the phone.
“Look at how beautiful your face is when you’re happy, Sutton.” He played the video back and I held the phone in my hand to watch. I was able to curl my finger around the phone with minimal stiffness.
“You’re glowing,” he told me, kissing my cheek. It wasn’t the video that warmed my heart and made me tingle though. It was how happy Lennox looked watching me. Like I was his world.
Once the video was done, I shoved all my jagged memories away and kissed his lips. I was still timid but Lennox took control immediately. I loved when he did that. It made me feel so safe.
The sudden knock on the exam room door startled us and made me move away from Lennox’s mouth. I cleared my throat and slid on a polite smile. “Okay, let’s go get that x-ray, Mrs. English,” the tech said before guiding me out of the room. I waved at Lennox and he winked at me.
