Page 23 of Changeling
“You don’t get to choose when it’s too late,” Nathan said, knowing there was no point in trying to take back any of what he had said. “Only I get to do that. Yeah, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of a lot of things lately. Go figure. But right now you’re still Jim and I gotta believe you can keep it that way. But if you don’t believe it…if you don’t believe it then it’s already over. And I just can’t accept that.”
Jim closed his eyes, squeezing tears free that streamed hot and fast down his face. “What if I can’t do it, Nathan?” Jim choked out. “I don’t know any more if I should give in to stop the sleepwalking or push harder to hold the powers back and risk some half-Awakened part of me going after you in the night. What if I’d gone to bed with Alex? I thought about it, you know? Drunk on the wine, being snuggled so close on the roof…I thought about it. What if I’d been with her instead? You really…you really think I was going to hurt Sasha?” Jim peeked his eyes open and glanced frightened to the side.
“I don’t know,” Nathan answered honestly, lifting his eyes to look at Sasha, who was sitting very still on the bed, his expression serious and mournful. “All you really did was reach for him. And when I stopped you and you smiled at me…it wasn’t…sinister or anything. I don’t know. You don’t…have any urge to hurt Sasha now, do you?”
Eyes wide and searching again, Jim stared forward at Sasha, and a few more tears streamed down to follow the lines made by the first. “No. God, I…I’m so sorry. I’d never…youknowI’d never…” Jim couldn’t quite get the words out, tears falling faster now, but his gaze met with true blue and Sasha smiled back at him.
“I’m sorry too,” the incubus said. “Sorry I push you on all this. I just…I’ve lived with abilities my whole life, and sure, being born full fae makes it different, but I stand by what I said once before. No matter what gets inside of you, no matter what happens to you, only you can make the choices of what to do with what you’re given. And I’m with Nathan. I don’t see you choosing evil, Jim. I certainly don’t see you wanting to hurt either of us. You love us. You sort of can’t hide that from me.” Sasha grinned a little wider.
And, miraculously, that seemed to do the trick, at least enough for Jim to calm down, turn to see the same strong resolve in Nathan’s eyes too, and finally nod his head. “Can we…maybe get back to sleep then? I’m really tired,” Jim said, rubbing a hand across his wet eyes like a little kid.
Nathan nodded, and took the opportunity to form his hand into a gun and point it playfully at his brother. “Whatever you say, Jesse James,” he said. He held his hand steady until Jim smiled and returned the gesture.
BANG.
If he could still look into his brother’s blue eyes, if they could still reenact that silly little game they had played as children, then Nathan believed he could keep his brotherhis brotherforever.
How any of them actually got back to sleep after that, Nathan couldn’t say. He just knew that when he woke up hours later, and he and Sasha went down for breakfast to find Jim, Alex, and Wally already waiting for them, they all looked the same amountof not quite rested, and yet still like they could take on anything that came next.
Chapter 10
Thenextmorningwasit—time to say goodbye. Nathan’s time was running out, and every second counted.
Before they left, Sasha called everyone together in the bar area and had Wally stand where everyone could see her.
“I think we have this down, Alex, if you’ll give us a chance,” Sasha said.
Alex nodded. “Just so long as she isn’t any trouble.”
“You gonna glamour her?” Nathan asked.
“I could, but it would wear off as soon as I got too far away. There are limitations. No, I had something else in mind. See, I figured I could train her to shapeshift on her own. It wasn’t easy, and I had to pick something that looks as close as possible to how she really is, but…ready, Wally?” Sasha turned to the little ball of fluff.
A chirp responded and the chimera gave a little jump.
“Okay,” Sasha said, “what do you do if you see anyone other than one of us?” he asked, indicating those gathered around her.
Wally chirped again. Then, with another jump, she suddenly wasn’t Wally anymore but was instead a very small, plump, and fluffy grey tabby cat.
“Ta da,” Sasha smiled.
“That’s awesome,” Nathan said, crouching down and calling Wally over to him, who bounded into his arms happily. “I wouldn’t know the difference at all,” he admitted, petting the purringcatin his arms.
“And she can change back when it’s just you, Alex,” Sasha said to her. “If she sees anyone but us she knows to be a cat. You can tell her to keep the transformation constant when someone’s staying here longer too. So…you gonna keep her?”
All eyes turned from the new grey cat to the owner of the Gatehouse. Even under all that scrutiny, Alex allowed a smile and stepped over to Nathan to pat Wally on the head. “You know the rules?” she asked the chimera sternly, despite her retained smile.
Wally meowed in response.
“Fine by me then,” Alex said, plucking Wally out of Nathan’s arms, “but if we have any trouble,” she said to Sasha, “you’re the first one I’m calling.”
“Any time,” Sasha smiled.
Nathan reached to pat Wally on the head one last time. Their things were already in the car outside. “Guess we better head on out, then. Thanks for the great New Year’s, Al. Been a long time since I remember one that fun.” He looped an arm around her shoulders to hug her without crushing Wally between them.
Sasha came forward next for the same half-hug, but before he could back away, Alex passed Wally into his arms. She turned to Jim with her hands planted on her hips.
“You’re coming to visit more often. I know it’s dangerous, but Gabriel’s gone, and Sasha gives you an advantage. You can risk running into seals to see me. Okay?” While the commandseemed to be directed at all of them, her focus was entirely on Jim.
