Page 84 of Lost Boy
Desperately needing the toilet?
Running out of water?
No, that one won’t work. I think the cooler was full last night.
“Fallon!” Ryder’s deep, concerned tone pulls me from my inner crisis.
Shit. He’s back. And I didn’t have my alibi fully decided on.
“What are you doing out here in your underwear?” He rushes over to me, hands traveling over my body, checking for injuries.
He cups my cheek next. “What’s this red mark?”
I pull my head away from his touch. He can’t know. He can’t risk suspension from school—from the team—andhis college scholarship. I’m not worth it. This championship means everything to him. He’s spent four years working toward this goal, and I won’t be the one to ruin it for him.
I’m torn from my spiraling thoughts once again. “Blue, did someonehityou? Why are there scratches and dirt all over you? Why don’t you have shoes on? Clothes?” His tone is worrisome, gentle.
Too many questions. Too many words. Too many thoughts.
“Why aren’t you answering me?”
I’m shutting down.
“Talk to me,please,” he begs.
“I. . .” I choke, making a weird hiccupping noise.
My words won’t work right now. I’m not sure I could speak even if I knewwhatto say. What excuse to tell him.
“Come here.” Ryder envelops my smaller body with his giant frame, curling his considerable bulk around me and making me feel secure. Safe. Cared for.
I sink into him, the pain of everything making it too much to hold myself upright. So, I lean on my boyfriend instead.
Fuck.
The walls I’ve erected are delicate at best at this point. Paper thin at worst. One wrong breath and the emotions will come flooding out, and I’ll be swept to sea, left to drift alone. Like always.
“Where were you? What happened?” he tries again.
“Nowhere and nothing,” I whisper into his sweat-soaked chest. Ryder needs to drop this, for everyone’s sake.
“It was Seth and those pricks, wasn’t it?”
I don’t answer. The memory of his rough touch makes me want to scrub my skin raw.
Ryder lets me go and steps away, pacing in front of the tent, running a hand through his damp curls.
“Fucking bastardos,” he mumbles under his breath. “Don’t let them come between us, Blue.”
I amble toward the tent like a zombie, the numbness creeping back in. “Go take your test, Ry,” I say flatly.
I think I need to be alone.
He glances at the time on his phone and curses in Spanish again. “I’ve gotta shower before the test, but this isn’t over, Fallon. I mean it.”
I ignore him, crawling inside and zipping up the flap.
“Don’t shut me out.Please.”
