Page 56 of Wooing the Wiccan
I shake my head. “No. We wanted to—planned to. But when you can choose how long to live, you always think you have more time. At first we were adventuring, and then after I was invested, we decided to wait until the life force released me from leadership.” I shrug. “The anomalies ended that plan.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Mustering a smile, I lay my hand over his where it rests on my leg. “We would still have been waiting. Ásta devoted a great deal of time to working with children before we lost her, and I don’t think she regretted that.”
He turns his hand and laces his fingers through mine. “Is that something you still want? Children?”
It seems to be the night for me to be caught unprepared for questions. “I… Not right now. My situation hasn’t changed—I would want to give my children more time and attention than I can spare while I’m king. It wouldn’t be fair for them if the first thing they learned was duty—and it wouldn’t be fair to my people if I let myself be distracted from said duty.” The words hang between us. “That’s not to say I think having a family would be?—”
“I know what you meant,” he says with a huff of laughter. “Kids need more attention than a partner does—a different kind of attention. They’re dependent on their parents for everything. So… not right now for kids, but maybe in the future?”
“If that’s something you’d want. It would need to be a mutual decision.” I’m suddenly conscious that we never talked about this before.
“Hmm. If you’d asked me last month, I would have said no. I’m in my forties, and I work with children every day. But nowthat my future looks so different—longer, for one—I’m open to considering it.”
I pick up the pen with my free hand and write that down on the notepad—along with teaching him Elvish. “Potential children to be discussed in the future,” I say out loud.
“Perfect. That does bring me to another question.”
“You can ask me anything.”
“What, if anything, would you need from me to support your work?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Jared
I watchRaðulfr’s face closely as he considers my question. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past week, but I’m not as nervous as I expected to be now that I’ve asked it. Our talk so far has been good—really good. We seem to be on the same page, and I’m more convinced than ever that this was the right decision for me to make. Raðulfr and I, even though we had a little hiccup, do belong together. I’m confident of that.
We just need to work out the details. A relationship with a nineteen-thousand-year-old elf king isn’t something I’ve ever done before. There are bound to be some things I hadn’t thought of.
“It’s completely up to you how involved you’d like to be,” Raðulfr says slowly. “If you’d prefer to stay out of it entirely, that’s fine. We don’t even need to publicly announce our relationship, if you like. Though the news would probably get out anyway.” He grimaces slightly. “I have a range of after-hours functions and events to attend, and visits to elven settlements in other countries, so those nights and weekends I wouldn’t be available to spend with you.”
That makes sense—he’s a head of state. “I don’t want to keep us a secret,” I declare, making sure to sound firm. We’ve hadenough secrecy. “And I don’t mind coming with you to some functions, where you think my presence would be helpful. But I don’t want to give up my job, so I’d rather opt out of anything that might need me to take big chunks of time off work. I guess that counts as a limitation.”
The way his face lights up makes me happy deep inside. “I wouldn’t expect you to give up work,” he assures me. “I know you love teaching. My engagement schedule is usually set a couple of months in advance, so what if I make sure that gets shared with you, and we can discuss which events you’d like to come to?”
“Yes.” I nod, relieved. “That sounds good. I have more free time in the summer, so I could probably join you more often then,” I suggest tentatively, and he grins.
“Perfect. We’ll figure out what works best for us. We just need to stick to the only-honesty rule and make sure we talk about things.”
The rush of happiness that overtakes me is almost dizzying. “Agreed. Is… Is there likely to be anyone who’ll disapprove of us being together?” That’s another thing that’s been nagging at me—I don’t follow celebrity gossip, but that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that when celebrities date regular people, said regular people often get ripped apart by fans. Raðulfr isn’t a celebrity, exactly, but he still has a lot of eyes on him and probably a lot of people who feel entitled to weigh in on his boyfriend.
“Possibly.” His reply is candid and accompanied by an unhappy shrug. “Some people disapprove of everything, and politics is a tough game. But ultimately, none of those people have any influence on my personal life. The life force selected me to be king, and only the life force can remove me from that position—and it’s been pushing me in your direction since we met.”
My jaw drops. “It has?”
“Yes.” His smile turns smug. “At first I was just grateful that it didn’t disapprove, but in retrospect, it was actively encouraging every decision I made to be with you. Including that damn hockey game, so there’s a good chance it wanted you to discover the truth sooner than you would have otherwise. Which is something I need to think about some more.”
I rub my chin, still marveling that the essence that makes up existence wanted me and Raðulfr to hook up. “Do your people have fated mates?” I ask abruptly. It’s a surreal concept, but then, so were elves and shifters just a few weeks ago.
Raðulfr pauses. “Not in the sense you mean,” he says finally, and I’m a little surprised by how much that disappoints me. “A thing like one true mate for each person is too important to leave to chance—especially since we live so many lifetimes. The closest equivalent that I know of is paired souls.”
That sounds a lot like soulmates to me. “Paired souls?”
“Yes. People whose souls will have a similar pattern of growth. They aren’t fated to be together—an individual’s soul could pair with those of several people. But unlike many other relationships, the people involved won’t ever grow apart.”
I think about that. “So they’ll want to be together forever?”
