Page 16 of Wooing the Wiccan
“Niamh told me about the napkin,” Eoin admits. He doesn’t sound any happier about it than me. “I agree it wasn’t advisable—especially since the h— Jared had seen her earlier and recognized her. She says it was the least objectionable and noticeable way for her to prevent you from potentially taking an unsafe physical action.”
I’ve been around for a long time and am widely considered to be wise, intelligent, and knowledgeable, yet it still takes me a moment to process and understand that sentence. “I thought I knew Niamh fairly well,” I say slowly, “but is it possible I missed the fact that she’s homophobic?”
“Raðulfr,” Eoin chides. He only calls me by name when he’s particularly exasperated. “You know that’s not true.”
“I didn’t think it was, but I can’t imagine why else she’d think me holding a man’s hand might lead to—what did you call it? ‘Unsafe physical action.’” Disappointment is a lead weight in my stomach. Does my security team not want me to find happiness again?
“It’s not that Jared is a man.”
“Then what? We’ve already established that he’s met security standards.”
“He’shuman,” Eoin grinds out. “And before you accuse me of being speciesist, I’d like you to seriously think about this. Our—your—entire existence is a secret from him. He thinks you’re human like him. You could never truly be honest, be yourself with him. He doesn’t even know what you really look like.”
Involuntarily, I lift a hand to the side of my face. The difference in bone structure between elves and humans is enough that we use spellcraft to hide it—along with our pointy ears. It’s true; Jared has only seen my glamor.
Eoin presses on. “We were mildly concerned yesterday when it seemed like you’d befriended him, but when Niamh reported the hand-holding and calf-eyed looks, that concern became a very real thing. Are you romantically interested in this man, Your Majesty? And if you are, why did you keep it from us?”
“It’s only been a week, and we’ve only been texting,” I defend. “If I’d decided to pursue this, I would have advised you.”
“If you’d decided to pursue this?” he echoes. “Respectfully, sir, have I been talking to myself for the past ten minutes? Youcan’tpursue this. He’s human, and he knows nothing about us.”
I narrow my eyes. This conversation is truly beginning to irritate me now. “The community has welcomed trustworthy humans for thousands of years, Eoin. Humans marry into all species—it’s how we were able to begin the program to reintroduce magic to them.”
“Yes, but none of them has married a species leader before.”
The words fall between us like stones, shocking me.
“You are not just any member of the community, Your Majesty. Nearly two hundred thousand elves rely on you to guide us and be our connection to the life force. If you pursued things with this man, not only would you be forced to be dishonest with him in the early part of your relationship, but when—if—you eventually revealed the truth, you’d also have to tell him that he’d be sharing your time and attention with your people. That his life would come under scrutiny for being with you. That’s a lot of pressure, and I’d hate to see you hurting again, sir.”
I say nothing. Eoin doesn’t pull his punches when he has a point to make.
After a moment, he stirs. “I wish we hadn’t had to have this conversation,” he says softly. “Your safety and well-being are my priority, sir, and have been for a long time. That’s not just physical. All of us on the team care about you, and we want what’s best for you. If you choose to pursue things with thehuman—Jared—that’s your choice to make, and we’ll all wish you every happiness. We just want to ensure you’ve considered every aspect of it.”
He said a moment ago that he would hate to see me hurting again, but it might be too late for that. All the excitement and joy that’s been fizzing inside me for the last week, and especially since last night, is gone, flattened by the gloom of reality. Even if things between Jared and me do continue to grow, it’s a rare man who would stand fast under the revelations that his partner was lying to him, was of a different, previously unknown to him species, and was in a high-pressure leadership role with no retirement in sight. Is Jared one of those rare men? Do I want to potentially put myself through the pain of discovering he isn’t?
My phone chimes, as if on cue, and because I desperately need the distraction, I pick it up and swipe to read the message.
Jared:
Good morning! I was thinking… Do you want to come over this weekend? There’s a new moon Sunday night, and I wanted to add some magic to some of my usual rituals. You can learn more about Wicca and we can work on some spells together. I’ll even feed you LOL.
I stare at the message for a long moment, my heart aching, then text back:
Yes, please.
Raising my eyes to Eoin, I say, “I don’t know yet what I’m going to do, but I’m taking a few days to think about it, and I’m having dinner with Jared at his home on Sunday.”
My head of security tightens his lips. “That sounds like you’ve made a decision.”
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not that easy. But by Sunday, I’ll know whether I’m going to use this dinner to say goodbye or not.” My tone is grim, because I know what I need to do. Maybe I’m delaying, but it would be foolish of me to do anything except end this infatuation.
Eoin nods. “It would be helpful if you could find out his address ahead of time so?—”
“You’re not going into his home while he’s not there,” I order. “We’ve established that he’s trustworthy. It’s bad enough that I’ll have a bodyguard sitting outside the whole time.” I’m not letting them violate his private space, not when I know from things he’s said how fiercely he guards it.
From the expression on his face, Eoin’s not happy. That makes two of us.
I ringthe doorbell of the charming cottage that’s Jared’s home. His front garden is tiny, just a patch, really, but even in winter it’s tidy, and I can tell from the dormant plants that it will be lovely in just a few short weeks.
