Page 113 of Choosing Forever
“She hasn’t had a say in my personal life for a long time now.”
“She’ll always be in your life. You were married, and she’s the mother of your daughter.”
“And if you say yes, so will you. You’ll be everything to me that she never was. I’ll give you more than I could have ever given her. Just say yes.”
“You make everything sound so easy. So simple. Like there’s no risk with a jump this big.”
I shake my head, bringing her hands to my mouth and resting them there. “There is a risk. One that scares the shit out of me. What I’m trying to say is that it’s worth it. I’ve had a decade to grow without you, and I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror. But then . . . there you were again, and even beneath your anger and blunt words, you were still you. I woke up beneath that fury, Elle, and I’ve been chasing more of it ever since then.
“We went too long without each other, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming of you or the life we had before everything went to shit. I’ve been chasing a love like ours, and the only thing I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to replicate. A yes doesn’t mean everything will go back to how it was. It just means you’ll give me a chance to make up for what I’ve done.”
Her throat bulges with the force of her swallow. “And if I decide that I can’t do this anymore? That your chance is over? Do you expect me to believe that you’ll just walk away as if nothing happened?”
“If that’s what you wanted, then yeah, Elle. I’ll walk away. For good this time.”
“I don’t want Abbie to know yet. Not until we know if it’s worth telling her. She’s my student as well as your daughter.”
I push to my feet and eliminate the distance between us until we’re so close I can smell her shampoo on the breeze. Her cheek is warm as I cup her chin and guide it back to rub our noses together. My heart is frantic, adrenaline pumping through it now.
“Okay. We don’t have to tell anyone yet. Not until you’re ready.”
Delaney presses two hands to my chest and holds my gaze. “Slow, Darren. We need to take it slow until I know what we’re doing.”
“You can have anything you want.”
And I mean it. She can have absolutely anything because the thought of not giving it to her upsets me more than denying her in the first place. I’ve recognized it from the moment we met.
Delaney Brooks deserves a king, but she’ll have to settle for me, andfuck, I’ve missed having to work hard to keep her.
36
NINE YEARS AGO
DELANEY
Soft chatter fills the library,keeping me from falling asleep reading. It’s only noon, but it feels like I’ve been awake all day already. In reality, I didn’t get out of bed until ten.
I missed my morning classagainafter turning my phone off when the alarm wouldn’t stop ringing. If I hadn’t stayed up so late, I’d have been up far before seven, but over the last six months, long nights have become the norm around here.
At least I’m not sharing a room with anyone this year. Well, I share a bathroom, but considering my first two years here, I was roommates with Brooklyn, I’m grateful for my single room. I’ll take a connected bathroom any day.
I blink down at the textbook spread in front of me and sigh. The words are blurring together, and the notes I’ve been writing are sloppy at best. I’ll have to spend more time dissecting each word than I’ve spent writing them.
Shoving my hands through my hair, I lean back in my seat and stare at the ceiling. Maybe if I look at it long enough, all of the information I’ve missed from my abandoned classes will appear. It would make it easier to hunt down the information Ineed, and yeah, I’m going crazy. Is that why I was switched into a single room this year? For the well-being of any potential roommate?
If this were Cherry Peak, I’d have no problem convincing myself of that. Six months isn’t anywhere near long enough for the news of Darren and me to blow through that town and be a memory. It’s why I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. He can have the town and the drama that comes with it.
My grandmother is the only one whom I’ve kept in touch with since . . . the breakup. If you can even call it that.
She flew here for Christmas and even stayed a few extra days afterward to visit the campus and guilt my parents for missing out. I think the lack of nipple-freezing weather here even had her considering moving just to escape the winters back home. For a few minutes, at least. There was no way she’d actually do that, though. Being Albertan is a part of who she is, and no mild winter or beautiful ocean views will change that, even if I wish it could. If things don’t go the way I’m hoping after graduation.
My phone vibrates on the table, and I swipe it before the guy at the table across the way can glare at me again.
“Hey.”
“Hey? That’s all I get? How very college girl of you,” Grandma croons.
I cross my legs beneath the table and set an elbow on the table. “What a coincidence, I was just thinking about you. Are you using your juju on me again?”
