Page 112 of Choosing Forever
She hums. “It’s October.”
“Are you cold?”
“Right now?”
“Right now.”
The sound of her uneven footsteps in the browning grass is all there is. It’s almost eerie how silent it is here. Other than the school, there are only a few houses nearby, none with their lights on. We’re completely alone.
“I’m okay,” Delaney says.
“It’s all the booze.”
“Are you going to lecture me about how much I drank? I was waiting to see if you were.”
I slide my hands in the back pockets of my jeans, hanging back further. “No. We’re not kids anymore.”
She stops, standing still. The breeze runs through her hair, making it fly over her shoulders. I force myself to stay where I am when she turns around, eyes guarded as they focus on me.
“You’re right. We’re not kids anymore. Our decisions aren’t . . . fleeting. Every one we make now has a consequence that we can’t forget about and move on from. I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”
“Neither do I. Everything I do now is with a purpose. From the moment I found out about Abbie, I’ve been making choices for the good of everyone else. First with Abbie, then Sasha. One choice I made led to eight years of decisions that have never felt like mine to make. I lost you, and suddenly, my life was someone else’s. You are the only thing I want to decide on right now, and I’ve already made up my mind. All I need is one chance to prove to you that this is the best decision for both of us.”
“What happens if I say yes to you right now, Darren? We just, what? Continue where we left off?” she asks, the doubt in her voice cutting through me.
I take a generous step forward, shrinking the distance between us. She watches me, pinching the top of her ear anxiously.
“No. Too much time has passed. We’d start over.”
“It’s not possible to start over. Not when we already know so much about each other. Time has passed, but not enough for me to forget you or the way I loved you.”
“So, don’t forget. There are no rules with this.”
“You make it sound easier than it would be,” she says, brushing it off.
“What are you most afraid of?”
She blinks rapidly, face blank. “What am I most afraid of? How about everything?”
“Break it down for me.”
“What if there’s too much history? Or we dive into this only to realize that what we had back then can’t be replicated now? We’re so different from who we used to be. There’s no guarantee that we would be able to do this again.”
“Impossible,” I declare.
“What is?”
The ball in my throat threatens to choke me completely when I drop to my knees in the wet grass. Her surprised inhale falls between us. I reach for her hands and clutch them like they’re the only thing keeping me tethered to the ground.
“All of it. We may be different people now, but I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what love even was. I know we’re meant to be together. It’s always been you and me, Elle. No number of years could change that. And if you gave it a chance, you’ll be sure of it too. I’ll stay here on my knees for weeks begging you if I have to. All you have to do is give me one chance. That’s it.”
“What about Abbie?” she asks, emotion swelling so fiercely in her eyes that she has to look away, palms growing slick in my hold.
I see her walls crumbling. I’m chipping at the fortress in hermind one brick at a time until finally, the entire thing collapses. Delaney sighs, and I swear I can almost see the weight of it hitting the ground.
“She adores you.”
“And Sasha?” she asks, almost too quiet for me to hear.
