Page 35 of Lost Touch
Because he couldn’t, any more than he could leave the bed and put distance between us.
Sweat gleamed on his face and bare chest and stuck his hair to his temples. Even in the dim light filtering through the blinds I could see the flush on his skin, hectic on his cheekbones and pink all the way down his neck.
His cock looked ready to explode, and it throbbed in my hand. Every line of his body thrummed with frantic tension.
I squeezed his cock, running my hand down to the base, and he groaned again, sounding like I’d stabbed him, his hand moving faster and faster above mine.
No restraint at all.
He’d gotten worse, much worse, either because what I’d done had exacerbated the effects of the experimentation or because he’d been on an exponential curve to begin with and he’d finally hit the near-vertical slope.
My mind and my heart both raced frantically, terror for Drew taking me over and sending me reeling. What the hell did I do? I couldn’t just—I’d already tried—if I called—no, no shaman, and no more hand jobs, and—
He hadn’t knotted.
That thought rang clear as a bell amidst the panicked chaos in my head.
Drew hadn’t knotted, and from what I’d read about alphas, that was the most noticeable sexual difference between them and other shifters.
That and the possessive, dominant need to claim a mate, but I’d figured that part out on my own.
I let go of his cock and sat up, pulling my T-shirt over my head. Drew froze, even his hand almost stilling, only massaging the base of his cock.
“What are you doing?” It came out a growl—a threatening one.
But it didn’t faze me. Fuck it. What could he threaten me with, a good time? Because at this point, I was pretty sure he needed to lose control completely. And now, unlike last time it’d almost happened, I didn’t feel any fear or anger—not of or at him, anyway. My fright was all for him, not about him.
“Do you have lube somewhere?” Because I might be ready to let him use me however he wanted, but I didn’t want to bleed, either.
I tugged at the string of my pajama pants and shoved them down over my hips along with my own boxers, baring myself to the knees.
Drew’s gaze traveled down over my chest and belly, lingering on my limp cock. “No,” he said in a tone of total finality, even as he licked his lips and panted. “No, I’m not doing that.”
Well, I’d heard that before, hadn’t I?
“Yeah, we are.” One knee and then the other, I lifted up my legs and worked the pants down, over and off. Leaving the bed, going out of his reach, might provoke him too much. “You need to knot me, Drew.”
A bead of moisture slipped out of the head of his cock, gleaming there like a jewel. Even if I bent and licked it off, I wouldn’t taste anything.
But that didn’t matter. This wouldn’t be for me, it’d be for him. I’d be—whatever he needed me to be.
I swung a leg over and straddled his hips, leaning down and bracing myself on his shoulders. He had such smooth, hot skin, damp with sweat, the muscles rigid. Broad shoulders...what would he look like, if our positions were reversed? Braced over me and driving inside my body?
“No,” he said again, but this time he didn’t evensoundcertain, let alone look it. He didn’t meet my eyes, his roving up and down, all over me, like he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to stare at the most. “I’d hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me.”
Finally he looked right at me. “I can hurt you. You just won’t be able to feel it. And that’s even worse, somehow.” The words came in little hitches, and a trickle of sweat made its way down his temple.
Drew was about to crack, I knew it. He simply had to do it without injuring me too much, and without destroying himself in the process.
Leaning down, I nuzzled the side of his face. “I want you to use me again,” I whispered into his skin, and traced his jaw with my tongue. His shiver could’ve been my shiver, and his big body between my thighs made me feel like I was poised at the top of a cliff, about to go tumbling down. “Like your toy. I’ll be so tight and hot for you, Drew. You can fuck me, come inside me, knot me, do anything you want to me—”
Drew’s hands landed on my waist, and I cut off with a squeak as he flipped me like a pancake, landing on top, his cock pressing between my legs. His eyes glowed like stars.
“Don’t fucking move,” he snarled, and let go of me with one hand, the other still pinning my hip. He reared up and lunged to the side, tearing the drawer out of the nightstand and slamming it down on the top, pens and a book and odds and ends going flying as he rummaged through the contents.
His cock bobbed in front of me, full and thick, flushed deep red at the head, his heavy balls hanging down below. I hadn’t touched those yet. It shocked me to realize how much I wanted to: to weigh them in my palm, roll them in my fingers. Get the alpha werewolf by the balls? God, I’d gone insane.
