Page 74 of Paging Dr. Breakup
“Well…”
“Let me try, Deirdre. Let me see if I can be the man I need to be. For you.”
You already are.She couldn’t make her mouth say the words. “You’re a good man.”
“I need to be good enough for you.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Damn it all,but that Friday evening Cal had a case of the nerves.
Finally, he was back at his rental house, freshly awakened from a hearty afternoon nap, like an exhausted toddler. The constant, dull headache and light sensitivity had receded. Fatigue and fogginess lingered but had improved. Now he understood why patients with head injuries needed time to heal. The injury might not be visible, but it still affected his day-to-day activities.
Thankfully, he had nothing but time right now. No shifts until next week and those would be daytime half-shifts. The chief of staff had accommodated his gradual return to work. Everyone had been great. Especially Deirdre.
They had enjoyed a few more phone calls this week, some steamy enough to get his heart pounding. All of the conversations whetted his appetite for his date with her.
He stepped out of the shower, toweled off, and shaved, careful not to nick himself. No sense bleeding all over her. According to the nurses, he had already done that with his head injury last week when Deirdre had found him at his parents’ place.
His hands shook as he buttoned up a gray dress shirt. He gave up on a necktie. Whether the tremors were due to nerves, fatigue, or brain damage, he refused to venture a guess. At least he was getting better. Hopefully, there would be no permanent damage.
He glanced in the mirror with a barked laugh. It looked like he was going to a business meeting. Which was only funny because this was literally the only business meeting attire he had brought with him. Everything else in the suitcase had been casual clothes, outdoor wear, or scrubs for work.
And two Patagonia vests, of course. You could take the doc out of the ED, but you couldn’t take the ED out of the doc.
He caught a glimpse of his graying temples. Time ticked on, regardless of how much he wished otherwise. Hauling in a big breath, he straightened, grabbed a light jacket, and picked up the keychain on the way to his car.
Why did pulling in front of Deirdre’s house feel like the eleventh hour before doom? Or the biggest decision of his entire life. He peered at her modest, neat home.
The way he saw it, he had one chance to be the guy he needed to be for her. He had this opportunity to convince Deirdre to stick with him in the near future and maybe more. What about life details? He rubbed his scalp, careful of the healing laceration where the sutures had been removed yesterday.
Thinking about plans and logistics and options made his head hurt again. He’d deal with pesky details about where to live and where to work and what a future meant—later.
Right now, he wanted to focus on Deirdre. No emergencies. No pretending.
Just the actual date night he had always wanted and that she had deserved for far too many years. Years she spent caring for Elijah at the end of his life. Years spent grieving for her parents. Years spent working on the lodge and giving her all to the hospital.
Tonight was hers. Regardless of any future, he would take care of her this evening.
At her front door, he paused before knocking and took a steadying breath.
She opened the door mere seconds after he knocked. “Hi.”
Her voice had a breathless quality to it, that Calvin craved to hear right next to his ear. “You look lovely,” he said.
She had on a newer pair of hiking boots, leggings, and a V-necked pine-green sweater with sparkly accents near her neck. Gold loop earrings finished out the night-out look.
“You clean up well, yourself.”
He shoved a hand in his pocket and waved with the other hand. “Oh, these old rags?Pshaw.”
In a matter of seconds, her laugh healed him more than medical care and brain rest ever could. He bent and kissed her on the cheek. It was supposed to be chaste and polite, but damn him if he didn’t inhale her floral and fresh linen scent and immediately want to ditch the dinner part of the date and stay in.
“To our fine-dining establishment?” He held out an elbow and she took it.
The connection and warmth were something he had missed this past week.
“Which place will we be going to this evening?” She knew full well there was only one diner in town.
