Page 43 of Keep You Safe
“Me?” Keeping her face turned away, she shrugged. “Nothing serious.”
“I wanted to be a cowboy. In New Jersey.” I gave a hearty laugh, inviting her to join in at my younger self’s expense. “That or I wanted to operate a carnival. Trust me, I know all about unrealistic dreams.”
“I wanted to be a hair stylist.” Faith’s voice was so soft that I had to strain to hear her over the hum of the truck heater. “My favorite place in town was the little beauty shop where my mother would take me to get my hair trimmed. I thought hairdressers had the best job—get all the town gossip firsthand and make people happy with a makeover.”
“I love it.”
“But what did I know?” Faith failed to match my enthusiastic tone. “Kids are silly.”
“There’s likely a beauty school in Durango, or you could dream even bigger.” If I weren’t driving, I’d already have my phone out to do a search for her. “Head to Denver or another big city with one of the best schools for hair and makeup, and see where it takes you.”
“You want me to go from Houston society to beauty school?” She scoffed. “And I’m well over forty.”
“So?” I shot back. “How old will you be in five years if you don’t go to beauty school?”
“Funny.” Faith let out a rusty chuckle. “Kat said something similar when I said I was too old to ride a horse.”
“I didn’t know you were friends with Kat.”
“I’m not.” Faith waved a slim hand, bracelet jingling. “We just got to talking while watching the girls ride recently. Willow and Hannah make riding look easy and fun.”
“It is.” I gave her an encouraging grin before finally taking the turn for the ranch, leaving a slow-moving truck behind. “Get on a horse. Let Kat teach you. And think about beauty school.”
“Easy for you to say, cowboy.” Her tone shifted to a light tease. “You’re living your dream.”
“You could too.” I hadn’t forgotten the wistfulness with which she’d shared. “Sometimes you simply have to go for what you want.”
I was much better at giving this advice than taking it. Ever since Grayson nixed my request for a dance, I’d let the topic die, not willing to risk our tentative peace. And sure, I’d learned to ride a horse, but few would mistake me for an actual cowboy. I might be living parts of my childhood dreams, but there were other tightly held dreams and wishes I rarely let myself admit I wanted now more than ever.
“Maybe.” Faith pursed her glossy lips as I pulled in by the main ranch house. “We’re back. Are you staying for dinner?”
“Maverick invited me.” I hopped out and was greeted by a bracing chill. “And I offered to help cook.”
I’d also helped plan the menu, provided decorating assistance, and supervised the girls’ present-wrapping efforts. Would I have been included otherwise? I didn’t particularly want to dwell on that thought. I was excellent at party planning, and if it earned me invitations, who was I to complain?
Instead of asking questions I didn’t want answers to, once we were inside, I threw myself into helping. Maverick already had a big pot of chicken chili bubbling away. I glanced out the kitchen window toward the bunkhouse. What was Casey cooking tonight?
I felt caught between two worlds, not belonging in either. Here, I was a friend or possibly an honorary uncle on a good day, but I wasn’t part of the tight quartet of Colt, Maverick, and the girls. On the outside looking in. Faith had described that feeling perfectly. At the bunkhouse, I was a temporary hand, an easy mark for cards, an extra pair of hands, and good for a laugh, but I wasn’t sure my absence would register with most.
We ate dinner, and my latest batch of Christmas cookies was a hit, but I couldn’t seem to shake the weird funk that had settledover me. Rather than inflict my mood on others, I busied myself with cleanup until Maverick found me as I shut the dishwasher door.
“You didn’t have to do dishes,” he chided, lightly slapping my shoulder. “Thank you. This was a perfect night, thanks to your help. I hope the wedding is as seamless.”
“It will be.” I forced the smile he undoubtedly expected from me. “Trust.”
“And after the wedding, we need to schedule some time to sit down, really hit the ground running for a spring launch for guests.”
“Sure.” Another faked smile on my part, but his seemed real enough.
“You’ve got to be tiring of being a hand.” Maverick had no clue, not that I was about to enlighten him. I liked my work, and not simply the time with the horses. I liked the physicality of the work, being too tired at night for my overactive brain to run away with my thoughts, having camaraderie with my fellow hands, and most of all, I liked the nearness of Grayson.
“Eh.” I waved away his concern. “It’s not that bad.”
“Well, we’ll need to meet anyway. I’m looking forward to talking about tiny cabins and guest activities.”
I nodded, and I should have been excited as well. Hospitality was a much more natural fit for me than cowboy life, and I’d be happy working with the ranch guests. However, I couldn’t stop the feeling of dread that washed over me every time I thought about moving on from my time as a hand. If he didn’t have to supervise me, would Grayson still make time for me? Even the dogs needed me less and less these days, and I was desperate for an excuse for Grayson to keep me around longer. Sure, I’d still be on the ranch, but I’d miss the close contact with Grayson, and I could already feel him slipping away.
“Going to stay for some Christmas movies?” Maverick asked.
