Page 73 of Little Monster
Maybe I reallyama ghost.
“I’m just a ghost without her, a specter of my past, haunted by the memories that continue to amass. I let her slip away, too scared to love for real. Now I’m haunted by her absence and the pain that I conceal.”
I move in for the kiss, reaching for his lips with mine, waiting for the sensation I’ve yearned for all these weeks. But at the last moment, Dex pulls back.
“I can’t do this,” he says. His hands are gentle even as they push me away.
Humiliation swirls inside me. All these people are watching, and herefusesto kiss me? Suddenly, I can’t hold my anger and hurt back any longer.
“Why not?” I snap. “You had no problem before.” I search his gaze until he averts his eyes. I’m still straddling him, his hands on my hips, but he refuses to look at me. Angry tears burn my eyes.
I told myself I wouldn’t cry, didn’t want to give Dex the satisfaction of seeing how badly he hurt me. But I can’t seem to keep them at bay. One streaks down my cheek, probably taking my mascara with it.
“Is it something I did?” My voice is quieter, and it seems to draw Dex’s eyes. He’s looking at me now, watching as another tear streaks down my cheek. “Or am I just a game you don’t want to play anymore? Is that it?”
He opens his mouth, and I hold my breath, waiting to hear his explanation. Maybe he’ll finally tell me what I meant to him. But then he just closes his mouth again, eyes averting once more.
Rage rips through me, and I shove his chest, forcing him back into the pillows.
“You are such an asshole.” Slapping his hands off my hips, I climb out of the bed, silky robe sliding around my bare legs. When I whirl around to face him, he’s sitting up, watching me. “They warned me about you. I knew I shouldn’t get involved. But I was stupid.” More tears are streaking down my cheeks now. “So,sostupid.”
His brow furrows, eyes a strange combination of soft and guarded. “Nora,” he says, and the sound of my name on his tongue does something to me—something it shouldn’t. It reminds me of all the times he said it before, of the shape his mouth made against mine, and suddenly, I can’t look at him anymore, can’t stand to be in his presence.
“Fuck you,” I whisper. “I never want to see you again.”
I whirl and stride from the room, only now noticing the director kept the cameras rolling the whole time. One is aimed directly at my tear-streaked face, but I don’t even care. I just have to get out of here.
The film crew parts around me, watching with excited and awestruck expressions. They don’t try to stop me. My feet hit the stairs, and I descend as quickly as I can, the silky robe fluttering behind me. My violin case is around here somewhere; I just need to find it, and then I can leave.
“Nora?” Glancing to the right, I find Jordan and Alisha standing in the doorway, blinking at me in surprise. Jordan steps forward. “What’s wrong?”
“Dex—” My words are cut off by a sob.
Alisha and Jordan exchange a knowing look, then immediately surge toward me. They wrap their arms around my shoulders, enveloping me in lavender-scented warmth.
“I’m so sorry,” Jordan says.
“He’s a dick,” Alisha puts in.
“Such a dick,” Jordan agrees.
They fawn over me, whispering about what a fuckboy Dex is and stroking soft hands over my hair. And I appreciate it, I really do, but all I want right now is to get out of here. I can’t be in the same space as him anymore.
“Have you seen my violin?” I ask, voice still warbling with tears.
“Yeah, I did.” Alisha pulls away, her brown eyes sweeping the foyer. “I’m pretty sure it’s in here.” She disappears momentarily, then comes back with my case held in one hand. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I take it from her and wipe a hand under my eye. I can only imagine how messy I must look. “I’m going home.”
“You want us to come with you?” Jordan offers. She’s playing with a strand of my hair, brow creased in concern.
“No, that’s okay. I just need to get out of here. I’ll be fine.”
We exchange final hugs and parting words, and just as I’m pulling away, there’s movement on the balcony above us.
I turn and look up, and my stomach clenches.
Dex is standing there, still shirtless, staring down at me. The cameras follow along behind him. He’s beautiful,toobeautiful. It makes me hurt to look at him.
