Page 99 of Finding Jacob
“There is a great pub near the house,” Nathan said. “We can take Paloma with us.”
“Lovely, do we need to book?”
“No, don’t think so. Google it, just in case.”
He told me the name of the pub and while he drove, I brought it up. It was, indeed, lovely, and had a river running through the garden. I called them to book a table, just in case.
“Five?” I asked in response to what time I wanted the table. I looked at Nathan at the same time. He nodded. “Yes, five would be good.”
I knew I couldn’t manage a late night, I was exhausted, and I didn’t want Paloma out that long either.
For the first time in a while, I also felt excited. I was doing something normal and with someone I was very fond of.
I turned on the radio and sang to a couple of songs as we continued home.
Sadie was on the drive with Paloma in her pram when we arrived. “Here’s Mummy,” she said, turning towards us. She liked to walk Paloma around the grounds, get some fresh air, she’d told me once.
I darted from the car and kissed Sadie on the cheek. “She got found guilty,” I said, leaning in the pram and picking up my baby.
“Oh brilliant! How did she take it?” she asked, wheeling the empty pram into the house.
“Not well,” I said, and chuckled. Nathan told her about the scuffle as I nuzzled Paloma. “I’m going to take a shower and I’ll feed her. We’re going out for dinner; I’ll take her with me.” I said, holding my baby to my face. “You want to come to dinner with Mummy and Uncle Nathan?”
“I can have her, if you want,” Sadie asked.
I thanked her but declined the offer. She did so much for me, way more than I suspected she did for Jacob, I didn’t want to take advantage of that. And besides, I wanted to spend the time with my daughter and Nathan.
I headed upstairs, cooing at Paloma as I did. Nathan called up that he’d be in the office, Jacob’s office that he’d taken over, until I was ready to leave. I waved at him.
While Paloma lay in her Moses basket, I showered. I hadn’t removed any of Jacob’s items from either the bedroom or bathroom. His closet was still full, and I had no intention of even looking in it. In the beginning, I’d taken a sweatshirt and I slept with it, I wanted his scent close to me, but that had started to wear off. I stared at his shower gel, wondering if he was still using the same brand. I also wondered who was washing him. A pang of jealousy ran over me and I quickly, mentally, batted that down.
I silently thanked whoever was looking after him. I couldn’t imagine Jacob being an easy patient at all. I brought up the image of him from the monitor in my mind. I’d never seen him with anything more than a little stubble around his chin. His black beard with a tinge of grey aged him, I thought. Still distinguished, but older. His eyes had been dull, and I guessed that was from pain and medication. His skin was sallow. I knew he might not be the same man who returned to me, and I didn’t care. There was, however, a small part of me that believed I was being extremely naïve if I really thought that.
I dressed and dried my hair, applied some makeup, and found a lovely pair of shoes to wear. I hadn’t worn heels for yonks, it felt. I fed Paloma, washed, and changed her, and smiled at her attempt to communicate. She gurgled and waggled her arms at me. Then she smiled. She had the most gorgeous smile and with two little dimples in her cheeks. I kissed her lips causing her to smile some more.
Nathan took her from me halfway down the stairs. He cradled her as if she was precious cargo in his arms and then placed her in the car seat. Oftentimes, I didn’t get a look in when he was around. I laughed, said goodbye to Sadie, and we headed to the car.
The pub wasn’t busy, and I was thankful. Since it was a lovely summer evening, we opted to sit in the garden. Nathan ordered a zero-alcohol lager, and I ordered a large glass of wine.
“I think I’m entitled to one,” I said, raising it when I was given the glass.
“You sure are. When we get home, perhaps I’ll have one with you,” he said, raising his lager glass to me.
We ate and laughed, and I felt normal for once. He picked Paloma up and comforted her when she was awake. He bounced her in his arms.
“You look so natural with her,” I said.
He laughed. “Never held a baby before, so I don’t know how.”
“She looks just like you,” I heard, and looked up to see the waitress return to clear our plates.
“Oh, she’s not mine,” Nathan said, and I thought I detected a little sadness in his voice.
“Godfather,” I added.
“Shame, you look a lovely couple.” She took the plates and left.
“Well, that was awkward,” Nathan said.
