Page 88 of Finding Jacob
I didn’t want to add too much information, simply because, until I met with Jacob’s doctors, I didn’t know any. It was basic and to the point. Of course, immediately after it was sent, both my and Nathan’s phones blew up with messages. I turned mine to silent.
The only call I took was from Jane.
“Fucking hell, Anna! I just want to tell you, you’ve nothing to worry about from this end. I’m on the case. There is nothing that you need to do, okay?”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you right now. Everything is so up in the air; I don’t know my arse from my elbow!”
“I bet you don’t. I can’t wait to meet Paloma, and what a beautiful name. But you just do what you must for now. Once you’re home, I’ll come over and we’ll catch up. I don’t want to see you in the office, and that’s an order!”
“Okay, Boss Lady,” I said. It was a nickname I’d given her years back.
“If it’s important, I’ll email. In fact, I’ll do a weekly report by email just so you don’t feel out of the loop. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect. Please let everyone in the office know, won’t you?”
“I’ll call a meeting tomorrow. Leave it all to me. Please take care of yourself, Anna. I just can’t imagine what on earth you’re going through right now. It must be hell.”
“It is.” My voice cracked and I swallowed hard. “I have so much to do at this end, so thank you.”
We said goodbye and I switched my phone to silent.
My stomach ached and the closer to King’s we got, the more anxious I became. Nathan had been there that morning, but it was my first time. I wanted to mentally prepare myself for seeing him so vulnerable and conjured up the images from the FaceTime we’d had. It wasn’t enough, though.
When I walked through the door into Jacob’s room, I came to an abrupt halt. Tubes, wires, monitors, surrounded him. His skin was pale, waxy. He had stubble around his normally clean-shaven chin, and he’d lost part of his hair. It was the smell, I think, that got me the worst. Clinical, medical, antiseptic, and alien to me. I sobbed, covering my mouth with my hand.
“It’s okay,” I heard from behind. A nurse gently encouraged me to walk forwards. “Go talk to him.”
I sat beside the bed and took his hand in mind. I raised it to my lips and kissed his knuckles.
“Hey, it’s me.” I hiccupped a couple of times as I gained my composure. “I love you so much, Jacob. Erm... Paloma is amazing, she has your eyes and hair. She’s definitely your daughter. I can’t wait for you to see her.”
Once I started talking, I found that I tuned out of the sounds surrounding me. I didn’t see the tubes and wires; it was just me and him.
“She’s still in the hospital and I’m going to find somewhere locally to stay. I think she’ll be in about a month. As soon as I can, I’m going to bring her over to visit you. You wait, once you hold her, Jacob, your heart will melt. She’s just gorgeous. Erm, the police came, but I won’t bore you with all that right now.”
I reached forwards to push some hair off his forehead and looked around for some toiletries. I let go of his hand and walked to the bathroom. I found a washcloth and spread some hand wash over it.
I wiped his face and neck, discoloured from antiseptic and dried blood still. I wanted to shave him, make him feel fresh and clean. I wiped over his chest, careful not to dislodge any sensors. I’d ask Nathan to grab some toiletries for him, I was sure there must be a hospital shop somewhere. From memory, there was a Marks & Spencer on the ground floor, but I couldn’t remember if it only sold food. I knew we had passed a Costa, at least we could get a semi-decent coffee for him.
As I was washing him, Nathan and a doctor appeared. Nathan introduced me as Jacob’s partner.
“We’re going to start the process of bringing him around tomorrow. It will be slow, but we need to see what he responds to. We’ll reduce the drugs that are keeping Jacob asleep. We’ll look for eye response to start with. He’ll be confused and disorientated. Think of waking up from the deepest and longest sleep you’ve had. It’s confusing and your vision is blurry. That’s going to be the same for Jacob. We’ll remove the breathing tube as well.”
“Will he be able to talk?” I’d seen the movies where the tube is removed and immediately the patient can talk.
“No, that’s unlikely. Usually, for a few hours at least, he might float in and out of consciousness. Everyone is different, however. Just don’t expect that he’ll be able to sit up and chat.” The doctor smiled kindly at me, and I appreciated his no-nonsense approach.
“In addition, he’ll be quite weak. He has multiple broken bones, as you know, so we would want him to be kept as comfortable as possible.”
“What about any brain damage?” I asked, not really wanting to talk about that.
“We’ll discover to what extent, if any, there is once he’s awake. We’ll do a series of tests on him, and he’ll have intensive physio to get his body back in shape. I wish I could tell you something more definite, but until he wakes, we just don’t know.”
I nodded and turned back to Jacob. I didn’t care what happened, I still loved him, and I would care for him.
“You ought to also prepare for Jacob having some form of depression, possibly PTSD. He’s gone through a traumatic experience, he’s a long way from being back to where he was. He may never be.”
I thought the statement a little patronising but accepted he wanted to make me aware. I highly doubted Jacob would wake all cheerful and smiling. For as many nightmares as I had over the event, I’m sure he would have treble. We’d manage, though. I’d deal with that. Or so I believed.
