Page 40 of Jackson
12
Summer
Confusion crossed his face and he stopped hispacing.
“So you want to hurt me? That’s what you would be doing, Jackson. You want me tied up so you canfuck me hard. You want to hurt me, just so you can release youranger?”
“No! Not that…” hesaid.
His chest was heaving, sweat beaded on his forehead, and his nostrils flared as he tried to drag in enough air to keep his heart beating. And it was pounding at a rapid pace; I could see a vein bulge and throb at the side of hisneck.
I tried very hard to hide the shaking and to keep my voice even. I watched as he blinked rapidly, his pupils were dilated and I wasn’t entirely sure he could focus on me. I tried, subtly, to shift my weight onto the balls of my feet so I could push off and run if I neededto.
I also watched him grip the front of his t-shirt and dig his nails into hisstomach.
“I need…” hewhispered.
“You don’t need that,baby.”
I flinched as he used the heel of his hand to hit the side of his head. He growled something incoherent about his father. I watched as his eyes shifted to his bedsidecabinet.
“Lie down, Jackson,” I said, I tried to keep my voice firm andcontrolled.
I gave him a wide berth as he made his way to the bed and did as I’dinstructed.
“Take off your t-shirt,” I said. He did. “Now raise your arms and grip the headboard. If you so much as let go and touch me, I leave,okay?”
He closed his eyes and I truly believed he knew exactly what I was about to do. I sat across his thighs and placed my fingertips to the largest wound. He took in a sharpbreath.
With the tears rolling down my cheeks that I had no control over, I drew my fingernails across his cut. I opened it up and allowed him tofeel.
His arms were rigid, his body arched off the bed and his cock hardened, straining against the confines of his jeans. He moaned as if the experience was pleasurable, and I guessed to him, itwas.
“Again,” he hissed through clenchedteeth.
I watched my tears drip onto his stomach and dilute his blood. It ran down his side as I dug my nails in further. I swallowed down the nausea, the bile that rose to my throat and burned. Each pass I made with my nails caused him to moan and writhe underneath me. He tilted his pelvis, grinding his cock into me. It sickened me to realise I was aroused. My clitoris throbbed with every thrust hegave.
He parted his lips; his tongue ran across his lower one to moisten it. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to hold him to me and comfort him. I didn’t want to do what I wasdoing.
I didn’t believe Jackson wanted to hurt me. I’d used that line to hopefully shock him into understanding. Dexter had talked about outlets and purging his guilt, was that how he did it? Did he rough fuck women to release his aggression? I looked down on the man I loved, the man I thought I knew yet realised I didn’t, and my heart broke forhim.
I placed my palm on his stomach, my fingers were coated with his blood and I smeared it across his tattoos. It was as I stared that I realised what I was running my hand over—a pregnant woman I’d never noticed before. Most of his cuts were over her stomach and I wondered if that wassignificant.
His breathing was rapid and shallow but his body had relaxed back on the bed. He had kept his eyes closed the whole time but opened them as I shuffled slightly down his legs. I undid the buckle of his belt, the button and zip on his jeans. I dragged them down slightly and his cock sprang free. I wrapped one hand around him and stroked gently at first, then harder and faster. I squeezed him tight; there was a part of me that wanted to hurt him more, not to pleasure him, but to punish him for what I haddone.
I sobbed as hecame.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he called out my name. I leaned down and cupped his cheeks. Cum and blood smeared on them and he opened his eyes again and looked at me. They were full of pain and self-loathing. While I cried, while he cried, I kissed his lips. I’d never felt so hurt, so sad, yet so in love with the broken man whose head I held in myhands.
Our kiss deepened; there was a need to connect, to taste, and to clear our minds of the horror with something pleasurable. His arms snaked around my body and he lifted my t-shirt. I sat up and pulled it over my head, stretching my legs out until I was lying on top of him. I felt the wetness against my stomach as our skinconnected.
His arms tightened and he rolled us until I was on my back, without breaking his kiss. He took hold of my hands in his and raised my arms above my head; I stiffened slightly as a wave of apprehension washed overme.
Jackson removed his lips from mine; he kissed along my jawbone and down my neck. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the moan leaving my lips. Despite what I had done, despite the situation, I couldn’t recall a time I’d felt so aroused. His need, his desperation, and my feelings for him all seemed to pool in my groin. I hooked my legs over his calves and raised my pelvis to grind againsthis.
Jackson slid his hands down my arms and along my side. I lifted my shoulders from the bed as he reached underneath to unclip my bra. His mouth trailed a path down my chest as he pushed my bra up and his lips found a nipple. He licked, he sucked, and then gently bitdown.
With his hands at either side of me; he pushed himself down the bed. As his tongue swirled over my stomach and through his own blood, I removed my bra. He undid my shorts, and as he slid down my body, he lowered them. I raised my hips and he hooked his fingers under my panties, dragging them down with the shorts. I kicked them off my feet. He sat across my thighs and stared at me while lowering his jeans to hisknees.
