Page 80 of All You Need is Alien Love
While she lays down some covering fire, Nirblob and I join them, our own weapons at the ready.
“What took you so long?” Roxy demands.
“Well—” I begin.
Suddenly, Roxy bobs up from her position and hits an incoming attacker square in the face with a slime ball, leaving him frozen, a stupefied expression on his face.
“Serves you right, asshole!” she hoots.
I’m more relieved than I want to admit at the sight of her safe and sound.
Also, I am really freaking lucky to have so many amazing, kickass women in my life.
“How are things going?” I whisper, peeking around an enormous crate to survey the base.
“All good so far. Your Groxil slime gun idea was fucking inspired.” She fist-bumps me and offers the same to Nirblob. “And your design is pretty damn perfect. Good work, man.”
Nirblob chuffs happily and flings his cape over his shoulder. “I’m a Zelitine of many talents.”
“I’mrealfucking glad you’re on our side,” I tell him.
Had Layne Madison been smarter, he would have cultivated a friendship with Nirblob to ensure his loyalty and devotion. A lot of extraterrestrials are just looking for a place to belong and others who will care about them. Nirblob was the same when I met him, and I quickly set about making him my friend rather than my enemy. It’s quite possibly the thing that will ensure our survival against Layne Madison’s invasion plan. And, as a bonus, I got a really cool and super genius co-conspirator to hatch future plans with!
Layne Madison was cocky and egotistical. He never even considered Nirblob worth his time and treated him like hired help he didn’t care about at all. Zamir and Zion’s dad did it too, with all of the people he killed or exiled simply for trying to live and love on their own terms.
Their loss is my gain, and today they’re seeing their mistakes in real time.
The Light Side of The Force will always win over the Dark Side, mothafuckas!
Roxy chuckles and Aiden rolls his eyes. “So, what took you so long?” he asks in a truly bitchy tone.
Ah, so good to know that, even in the face of an intergalactic invasion, Aiden’s going to be his usual self.
Nirblob pipes up. “River was defeating Fuckface Fabio in a duel.”
Roxy’s eyes go comically wide. “You werewhat?” she shrieks.
I wince. “It’s a long story, but he was working with Adeline and they grabbed Kai, just like we expected. But then, asthey were getting ready to teleport back here, Fuckface Fabio challenged me to some Iyaran duel. Ellie and Mal told me the whole thing was moot no matter what the end result since Kai and I had already completed the Sanctioning Ceremony. But I knew he wouldn’t take ‘get lost’ for an answer and had to end this bullshit with him once and for all.”
Roxy gapes. “Has he completely lost the plot or what?”
I grimace. “That’s definitely part of it. But I think it’s even more than that. The guy’s not well, either mentally or physically, that’s for sure. He’s got the look of a junkie in withdrawal, to be honest.”
I hastily explain the physical signs I noticed.
Aiden inhales sharply. “You think Layne Madison has been drugging him?”
“Not sure, but given the guy’s track record, it seems pretty fucking likely.”
“Or perhaps Adeline did something to him?” Nirblob suggests. “Her shady medical experiments, especially on Iyarans, are quite concerning.” He nods his oversized head. “It’s clearer by the day that Adeline and Layne Madison are much more entrenched co-conspirators than we perhaps first believed.”
“And both of them Osairans,” Roxy adds, her mouth twisting into a grim line. “Hopefully, this doesn’t speak to a larger plot among some faction from my home world.”
That worries me too, and I can’t help but agree with Nirblob and Roxy. We’re gonna have to figure out what the deal is once we capture the pair of Osairans who’ve brought the threat of war right to our front door.
From our secure position, we aren’t encountering much of an onslaught. By now, the invaders have become wary of the power of my Slime-O-Matic Paralyticator and are maintaining a safe distance from our little fort.
Roxy looks me up and down, then does a double take when she gets a good look at the harness contraption I’m wearing. My mechanical tentacles are pulled in close to my back at the moment, but they’re still pretty unmistakable.
