Page 13 of Curve Ball
The Uber app is open on my phone, and I order a ride, my fingers trembling slightly as I type in the address. I snatch one of Gael’s sweatshirts from the back of a chair and pull it on, the soft fabric enveloping me in his scent. It’s a comforting smell, one that makes me want to stay, but I can’t.
I have to go.
As I wait for my ride, I grab a pen from the counter and scribble a quick note. I owe him that much, at least.
Papi, last night was perfect. You were perfect, too good. Maybe we’ll run into each other again. - Adri 408-295-3364
I leavethe note on the counter and slip out the door, pulling it shut behind me. The cool morning air hits me again, and I shiver, wrapping his sweatshirt tighter around me. The feeling of regret hits hard as I walk away, but I push it down.This is for the best.
The Uber arrives, and I slide into the back seat, giving the driver the address to the pharmacy a block away from my apartment. When the car pulls away, I glance back at Gael's apartment, a small part of me hoping he'll come running out after me. But he doesn't, and I tell myself that's a good thing.
I would hop out of this car so fast and jump into his arms.
A tear sneaks out of the corner of my eye and I wipe it away quickly.
Chillona.
The pharmacy is busy when I get there, but I find the Plan B pills without too much trouble. The woman at the counter gives me a sympathetic smile as she rings up my purchase, and I can feel my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. I just want to get out of here, to put this whole night behind me.
I must look like a hot mess. My hair is probably all fucked up and while I don’t wear a ton of makeup, I’m sure my mascara is all messed up.
With my apartment so close, I walk home, and the whole block home I think about Gael. About the way he looked at me, the way he touched me. About the things he said to me last night. Things no man has ever said to me before. Things that made me feel seen, desired, and cherished. And that's what scares me the most. Because I know that if I let myself, I could easily fall for him.
And that would be a disaster.
I push open the door to my apartment and kick off my heels, leaving them by the door. I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for a week.
I take the Plan B pills and wash them down with a glass of water. The bitter taste is a reminder of what I've done.What we've done.I can't help but feel a sense of loss, of longing, but I push it down.This is for the best.I can't afford to get tangled up in something that will only end in heartbreak.
I for sure can’t afford to care for a tiny human when I can barely keep myself together.
I climb into bed, pulling the covers up over my head, and let the darkness envelop me. Maybe if I sleep, I can forget. Forgetthe way he made me feel, the way he looked at me. Forget the way his touch set my skin on fire.
Then I can wake up, and everything will have been a dream.
But even as I drift off, I know that's a lie. Nothing will ever be the same again. Because last night, Gael showed me a side of myself I never knew existed. A side that wants more than just a one-night stand. A side that wants love, that wants to be cherished. And that scares the shit out of me.
I spend the rest of the day in bed, dozing on and off, my dreams filled with Gael. With his smile, his laugh, and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he looks at me. It's torture, but I can't seem to wake up, to pull myself out of this dream world where everything is perfect and Gael is mine.
When I finally do wake up, it's still light out but much later in the day and my stomach’s growling with hunger. I force myself out of bed and into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat. Chips and the pico I made the other day, it is.Girl Dinner.While I eat, I wonder if he found my note and if he's tried to call me.
Don’t do it, Adri.
Too late.
I grab my phone from the counter, my heart pounding in my chest as I unlock it. There are no missed calls, no texts. Just silence. A part of me is relieved, but another part is crushed. Maybe he didn't mean any of the things he said last night. Maybe it was all just a line to get me into bed.
Typical fuckboy shit.
I push the thoughts away; I need to eat, to take a shower, and to get my shit together. I can't keep moping around like this, not when I have so much to do. I have a life and a career, and I can't let one night of weakness derail everything.
In the shower, I can't help but think about Gael's hands onmy body, his mouth on my skin. I can still feel his touch, his kiss, and it's driving me crazy. I turn the water to cold, gasping as it hits my skin, but it does the trick. It snaps me out of my daydream, brings me back to reality.
I get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself as I pad back into my bedroom. I can see my reflection in the mirror, and I hardly recognize the woman staring back at me. She looks haunted, tired, and so fucking vulnerable.
I hate it.
I dress quickly, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and run a brush through my wet hair. I need to get out of here to clear my head. Grabbing my phone and keys, I head out the door, not sure where I'm going but knowing I can't stay cooped up in my apartment any longer.
