Page 14 of Curve Ball
Finally, after driving around aimlessly, I end up at a small café downtown, ordering an oat milk latte and finding a seat by the window. Sipping my drink, I people-watch, trying to lose myself in the mundane of everyday life. It's a skill I've perfected over the years, a way to tune out the world and all its noise. But today, it's not working. Today, all I can think about is Gael.
I finishmy latte and decide that I need to head home, determined to put Gael behind me. But as I walk through the door, there is this feeling that something is missing. That a part of me is gone, lost in the arms of a man I barely know.
The rest of my day and into the night is all about work, distracting myself, watching TV, reading, anything to keep my mind off Gael.
But it's no use.
And when I finally climb into bed for the night, I wish he was here with me. That we were lying here together, his armswrapped around me, his breath on my neck. It's a dangerous thought, one that could lead me down a path I'm not sure I'm ready for.
But I can't help it.
I want him.
I want this.
I want more.
And that's what scares me the most. Because I know that if I let myself, I could easily fall for him.
Ping.
I pick up my phone, and there is a text from an unknown number.
Unknown
Waking up without you left me feeling hollow, Adri. Last night was most certainly not a one-night stand to me, I wanted to wake up with you in my arms. Giving you the space I assume you needed today killed me inside, but I let you have it. Now going to bed alone tonight is torture when all I want is for you to be in bed with me.
Staring up at the ceiling, I know I need to stay away. To protect myself from being hurt again. So I turn off my phone, set it on the charger, roll over, and cry myself to sleep. Breaking my own heart is easier to live with than if he were to.
7
GAEL
My phone alarm chimes and I wake up, the room still dark and quiet. The spot in the bed beside me is empty, like always. A stark reminder of the void Adriana has left behind. Two weeks have passed since that night, and every fucking day has felt like a fucking eternity. I gave her space, like she seemed to want, but it’s killing me. I miss her like hell, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep my distance.
Do I stalk her social media like a crazy person?
Well, yeah. But I don’t engage with anything. I’m still not following her, and I don’t comment or send her messages. Now that I think about it, it’s probably creepy behavior, but whatever.
I drag myself out of bed and head to the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of coffee. The apartment is too quiet, too empty. Any trace of Natalia has been gone for a while now, but now all I can see when I look at the vast space are images of that night. Adriana and I fumbled to remove our shoes, getting tangled up in each other’s arms. I swear I can still smell her perfume lingering in the air, a tormenting reminder of what I had and letgo. I take a sip of my coffee, the bitter taste grounding me, and I make my way to the living room.
This is a new level of hell I’m living in.
Unable to talk myself out of it any longer, I decide to send her a simple message, something that won’t pressure her but will let her know I’m thinking about her.
Gael
Morning, Mama. My bed doesn’t smell like you anymore, and it’s driving me crazy.
Subtle.
I hit send and set my phone down, hoping she’ll respond but not holding my breath. I know she needs space, and I’m trying to respect that, but it’s fucking hard. I take a deep breath and head to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I have a game today, an away game in So Cal, and I need to focus on that. But my mind is already drifting back to Adriana, to the way she felt in my arms, to the sound of her laugh.
Get your head in the game, Gael.
I wish I fucking could.
The driveto the airport is a blur, and once we are on the short flight, I barely speak to anyone. My best friend is living his best life right now. He’s got his girl, who’s now his wife, and I’m happy for him, but a part of me is feeling something else.Jealousy?I didn’t want to marry Natalia, but now when I close my eyes at night, all I can envision is Adriana with me. She’s mine. And it’s never her as my girlfriend. Now, she’s always my wife in my dreams.
