Page 85 of The Fear of Falling
Honestly, I don’t know how I expect them to react to that announcement, but it isn’t with sadness. There’s plenty of frustration in all three of their faces, but it’s buried beneath mournful expressions I never see. McKay glances at the stairs while Dad’s shoulders drop.
It’s Kimball who speaks first. “More work?” he asks quietly. “But you already…”
I scoff. “Yeah, I know you think I can’t handle—”
“That’s not what I meant.”
What else can he have possibly meant?
McKay must see my question in my face because he sits up straighter and says, “You already work a ton, Sonny.”
Glancing between him and Kimball, I try to understand how that’s any different from what Kimball said. Of course I work a lot. It’s the nature of my job, and I’ve always loved how it keeps my attention and requires my focus. But even as I think that, my exhaustion from the last few months reminds me it’s there as my eyes start to sting, begging me to sleep. To rest.
“I’m trying to build something worth your notice,” I grumble, getting to my feet. “Sorry it’s taking longer than—”
“Worth my notice?” Dad frowns, staring at me like I’m talking nonsense. “I don’t even know what you do in your job.”
That’s exactly the problem, and it’s not worth trying to explain yet again. Dead on my feet, I head for the stairs to make sure my mom isn’t overwhelming Avery, but my dad’s voice stops me on the bottom step.
“But you’ve always been worth my notice, Benson.”
I grip the banister, not sure I heard him right. “What?” I ask, too afraid to look at him without knowing what I might see.
“Your life makes no sense to me,” Dad says. “Bouncing around from one thing to the next. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see you and the way you’ve turned that into a career.”
What is he saying?
“If going to Australia next week and taking on more than what you’re doing now is going to make you happy, then do it. But there’s never been a trophy waiting for you.”
I glance over my shoulder, just enough to catch Kimball and McKay exchanging a look that isn’t their usual smugness or judgment. It’s…something else. Something new. And I have no idea what to do with that, so I focus on my dad and the hard edge to his gaze. “Trophy?” I repeat with a small laugh. “Yeah, I’m well aware you have no plans to give me a trophy when I’ve only ever been a failure. But thanks for the reminder.”
“Benson.”
I ignore him and head upstairs, hoping there isn’t another argument waiting for me when I find my mom and Avery. My mom doesn’t do confrontation, but if ever there was a time for her to cut me down, it would be tonight. My only consolation is that Avery is up there too, and she makes me feel like I can face anything if she’s next to me.
Chapter 29
Avery
“So,didyoumeetSonny when he came to your company?” Mrs. West asks as she opens a door and steps into a decent-sized room with a king bed and a large dresser. Male voices rise from downstairs, too quiet for me to understand, and I wonder if I shouldn’t have left Benson on his own. He was clinging to me pretty tight, but I didn’t want to offend his mom by refusing her kind offer of pajamas.
How much would he want me to say? He’s not here, so I decide to be honest. “We actually met on a flight to Italy last month,” I admit, “and it was a coincidence that my business partner, Eric, had already hired him to help our company. Eric and Benson were college buddies.”
“Italy? Wow.” She brushes a wrinkle out of the gray comforter on the bed, clearly still nervous like she was downstairs. I’m going to guess Benson has never brought a girl home to meet his mom, which makes me sad. I can only imagine how excitedshe was when Kimball and McKay found their wives. “You’re a traveler, like him?”
I chuckle. “I used to be. This trip was out of the norm for me.”
“Not for Benson. I’m sure you know that.” Her smile is wistful as she looks around the room.
There aren’t many decorations in here, and if she hadn’t said something about this being Benson’s room, I would have assumed this was an average guest room. Honestly, outside of looking similar to his brothers—they all have the same light brown hair and blue eyes—it would be hard to guess Benson is a part of this family at all.
“That boy…” Mrs. West clucks her tongue. “Never could stay in one place for long.”
I’m overstepping, but I ask anyway. “When was the last time he came home?”
“A year ago last April.” She doesn’t hesitate, and her pain filters into her voice, leaving it shaky. I would hug her if I didn’t think her fragile hold over her emotions would snap if I did. “He only stayed for two days.” Her eyes widen as she looks at me. “Oh! But I’m sure he’ll stay longer when he comes to visit you.” She pats my hand as if that might make her words true.
Huffing out a laugh, I sit on the edge of the bed and shake my head. “I doubt that. He’s been pretty clear about the fact that he plans to leave as soon as he’s done helping my company.” Two weeks. I get two more weeks to prepare my heart for him to leave, and just thinking about losing him brings sharp tears to my eyes.
