Page 84 of The Fear of Falling
“Mom!” I croak before she gets the wrong idea and starts jumping to all sorts of conclusions. Yes, I’m willingly spending the night. No, she’s not getting another daughter-in-law and a horde of grandkids. “We’re not—”
“I’m sure I have some pajamas you can use,” she says to Avery and holds out her hand, which Avery takes without hesitation. My chest grows tighter when I see Avery’s broad smile matching my mom’s, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to breathe again before the night is over. “Come along, sweetie.”
Wait. As my mom practically drags Avery from her chair, I hold tight to Avery’s hand, not ready to be on my own with the other West men. Avery meets my gaze, and her smile turns sympathetic.
“Sonny, dear,” Mom says, her tone chiding, “you have to let her go.”
But I don’t want to let her go. I want to hang on to this woman for the rest of… My eyes widen when I realize how my brain was about to finish that sentence.
I want to hang on to this woman for the rest of my life.
My grip falters at that thought, giving my mom the slack she needs to pull Avery from my grip and lead her up the stairs to my room. I’m too rattled from my own thoughts to stop them from leaving. I don’t mean that I want to keep Avery forever. Ican’tmean that. Trying a relationship is one thing—a thing I can barely let myself consider—but imagining forever is so beyond anything I’ve ever thought myself capable of.
I stare at the place she disappeared as a rock settles heavy in my gut.
“Benson Jay.” Dad’s voice is gruff and pulls my attention back to him and the scowl growing on his face.
Kimball’s eyebrows jump high, and McKay whispers something to Emily, who makes an excuse about checking on the kids and slips downstairs. I brace myself for the lecture that’s coming.
I don’t know what my dad is angry about, but maybe I can head this off before it turns into more than it needs to. “Dad.”
“What are you thinking?” he growls, dropping a fist onto the table. “Playing with the girl’s heart like that?”
I feel like that fist just slammed into my stomach. “I’m not playing with—”
“It’s one thing to date around, but bringing her home to your mother? Son, how heartless can you be?”
Anger rising in my chest, I debate the merits of arguing. He’s going to think what he wants to think, and nothing I say is going to change that. But I hate the way he immediately thinks I’m being careless, as if I haven’t spent the last three weeks constantly torn between staying away from Avery and giving her what we both want.
My own hands curl into fists on my lap. “She knows I can’t commit to anything.”
“Won’t,” Kimball mutters.
“Are you sure she knows that?” Dad asks. “Because she doesn’t look like she—”
“You don’t know anything about her!” I grind out.
He huffs. “And you do? You’ve known her for, what, a couple of weeks? And you thought it was a good idea to bring her here in the middle of the night and—”
“I wouldn’t have come if Kimball didn’t force me,” I snap, glaring at my oldest brother.
He glares right back, unfazed by my comment. “She’s your client, Sonny. Are you really stupid enough to be out late with your—”
“I washelpingher.”
“Sure.”
I look at McKay, who has been quiet so far, and search his face for any sign that he might back me up. Not that he ever has before. “I’m not playing with her heart,” I tell him directly.
His eyebrows pull low. “So you’re going to stick around for once?”
Cursing under my breath, I stretch my palms out and rub them along my thighs as my anger turns to queasiness. “I can’t.”
“Won’t,” Kimball corrects again.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to come home. I’m never going to do anything right in their eyes.
“Can’t,” I repeat, stronger this time. “I’m heading to Australia next week to work with a client who’s going to push my business to the next level and help me bring on clients from all over the world.” As soon as I say that, my body freezes. I didn’t plan on saying anything about Australia because I haven’t officially made a decision. But… This could be the only thing that convinces them I’m not a complete mess, so I let the declaration hang in the air between us.
