Page 73 of She Likes It, Hey Micah
“Can I get mine to go?” I ask with a wavering voice.
Though she’s confused, Sarah nods and wanders off to get me a box, which leaves Fischer and me on our own again. Hopefully not for long. He has no idea how much his remarks hurt, and he gazes at me with confusion pulling his eyebrows low.
“You’re leaving?” he says.
“I don’t feel very good.” It isn’t a lie. My hurts are just emotional instead of physical.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe books are fictional and unrealistic in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hope for my own love story. I wish I knew why he is so jaded, but I refuse to let him tear down my dreams just because he lost his own.
The instant I have my food, I’m on my feet, heading for the door even though I haven’t paid yet. Kinley will cover me and I’ll pay her back tomorrow. Today, I just want to go home.
Chapter Twenty-One
Fischer
I am an idiot. Evenafter Micah storms off, I sit in my chair and ignore the glares the waitress gives me as she serves the next table over. Why did I do that? Honestly, I don’t even know why I was so determined to argue when I’m not even sure I believe my own side anymore.
Yes, I think perfect is a dangerous construct designed to sell products and services. But I don’t think that’s what Micah is looking for. She’s not looking for a flawless individual with all the best clothes and haircuts.
She’s looking for someone who will stay by her side through thick and thin. There’s nothing wrong with that desire, so why did I work so hard to tear it down?
Kale’s words run through my head again.She’s kind of perfect for you. If even my strange hacker roommate believes in that concept, why can’t I let Micah believe in it too?
Because that’s not me.Kale said that too. I’m not even good enough for Micah, let alone perfect for her, and the work I’ll have to do to get anywhere close to that level is daunting.
Kinley from the lobby wanders over to me, her expression set in a scowl. “What did you do?” she asks, even though we technically haven’t even been introduced. I think at this point she has the right to talk to me however she’d like.
I sigh. I’m starving—I gave Grant my pickle-less lunch after he threw his in the garbage—but my food doesn’t look all that appetizing anymore. “I said some things I shouldn’t have said,” I mutter. “I was stupid.”
“Yeah, you were.” Kinley points to the front door. “That girl is the best person I know, and you’re an idiot if you’re just going to let her walk away when she’s crushing on you hard.”
I tense. “When she’s what?”
Folding her arms, Kinley seems to examine me from head to toe. “I’ve never seen her act the way she does around you. She has no idea what to do with you, and you never do what she expects.”
I frown, keenly aware of the number of people watching this exchange. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
Finally, Kinley smiles. “That depends on what you do with it. Micah has always had this idea of what love is supposed to be, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what to do with real feelings when they hit her in the face.”
I still don’t know if she approves of me or not, but I know I can’t keep sitting here and expecting things to be better. I wave to the waitress and point at my food. Thankfully, she understands and heads to grab me a box.
“What do I do?” I ask Kinley. I’m not opposed to begging for help if it means I can fix things before they end too soon. “If she’s expecting something specific, how am I supposed to know what it is?”
Kinley smirks at me right as the waitress hands me a box. “Oh, you don’t need to know her specifics. You need to keep surprising her. Show her what love is really like.”
My hands slow halfway through dumping my pork chops into the Styrofoam. “What if I don’t know what love is like?”
She scoffs. “You really are perfect for her, Fischer. Just keep being you because you’re driving her crazy.”
You really are perfect for her. That runs through my head over and over again as I finish scooping potatoes into the to-go container.You are perfect for her.
“I’m not sure crazy is a good thing,” I mutter and then reach for my wallet.
Kinley waves me away. “I’ve got it. Go catch her before she’s gone.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I don’t deserve another chance with Micah, but I’m going to take it if she gives it to me. Maybe one of these days I’ll stop being an idiot, though I won’t hold my breath. I’ll just have to hope Micah is as good a person as I think she is and will be willing to teach me how to be more like her.
When I get outside, I skid to a halt as soon as I see her standing by the curb with an arm wrapped around her middle. She looks so small. I mean, yeah, she’s not tall by any means, but her personality has always made her seem bigger. Not right now, though. Now she’s tiny because I cut her down to nothing to protect my own ego.
