Page 33 of Sweet Redemption
Iwas an asshole to Charlie last night and today, I knew it. Saw it clearly on her face when she walked away and headed back to the car. Yet, I couldn’t come to terms with the idea that my mother was dead. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. The second I saw the casket, a barrel full of emotions flooded me and I was drowning in my own misery and forgot all about Charlie.
Bottom line? My stupid sorry ass was feeling sorry for myself and I wasn’t able to turn off my black mood. I tried to go to Charlie, but every time I looked at her, something inside me was telling me to stay away, I wasn’t worthy. And I wasn’t, especially now.
Then I looked at my father, and realized that I was more like my old man than I wanted to admit. Everything my father did to my mother, I did in the last twenty-four hours to Charlie. I was rude, ignored her and chastised what little she said. All because I wasn’t thinking right. I should apologize but wasn’t sure it was enough, or how to say it without hurting her more.
As the waiter picked up our plates, Charlie stood and without a word headed to the bathroom. Bryce leaned over and asked, “What’s with you and Charlie? Did you two get in a fight?”
I glared at my brother. “Who are you now,Dear Abby?”
“No, Bryce is right. What’s going on between you two?” Beth asked with worry. “I don’t know Charlie, but from the look on her face, she’s not happy, Markus.”
“I…I.” I wasn’t sure what to say or how to explain what I did or how I was feeling. Especially with Charlie.
Just then I saw Charlie walked back, eyes shiny but looking down at the floor. Christ, I felt like the biggest asshole of the universe. “Charlie,” I called out too loudly, accidentally grabbing everyone attention.
She froze in place, eyes darting the room like she was the main attraction in a freak show. And there it was, plainly on her face. I hurt her. She was crying. Blotchy faced, rednose and eyelashes laced with wetness from tears not wiped away. Not two seconds later, she spun around and left the room.
I got up quickly and followed her to the woman’s bathroom but wasn’t fast enough to catch her.
I leaned my forehead against the door and knocked on it. “Charlie, please come out. I would like to talk.”
“Not necessary. And don’t worry about driving me home, Markus. I have a flight out of O’Hare at five.”
I instantly straightened, I suddenly felt gutted at her words. “Why? I promised to take you home.”
“I got a call from Mike and they need me back. The community board voted on closing the library. So I need to get home and start crating the books.”
I didn’t believe a word. “When did Mike call?”
“This morning, while you were in the shower. I called a cab to take me to the hotel to get my things, so you don’t have worry about leaving your family.” I heard a choked sob.
I pushed the door open. I didn’t care if someone else was inside. Charlie backed up; her hand covered her mouth as I took three strides and pulled her in for a hug. Without a word, I held her for a long minute.
Once she stopped crying, I pulled back and said the only thing I truly meant. “I’m so sorry.” My chest felt constricted like a boa was strangling the air out of my lungs as those words weren’t worth a damn bit of good. I’d hurt her, badly.
“I know.” She pulled out of my arms and grabbed some tissues that were on the counter and wiped at her eyes. Her spine straightened as though she gathered strength to what she was about to say next. “I knew this,” she pointedtobetween us, “We were only temporary. It was fun while it lasted though.”
“Charlie, we wer—”
“I want to thank you for the adventure,” she interrupted with a tentative look my way. “I’m glad I got to meet your family, even though it was on a sad occasion. But most of all, I’m happy you got to reunite with your family and reconcile with Bryce. Hey, at least I finally got to see some parts of the Midwest with my own eyes.”
“I wish…I was hoping we could take a tour of Chicago. I want to show you my old stomping grounds,” I said, hoping to coax her to stay, but she shook her head.
She gave such a teary heartfelt smile that didn’t quite reach her beautiful eyes; it lashed at my heart, breaking it in half. “Me too. But the library needs me and duty calls.” Her phone buzzed. “The cab is here.” She leaned up, kissed my cheek and walked out of bathroom in a rush.
I stood there like a fucking idiot, still stunned at what she unloaded on me. Eyes wet like hers, my vision blurred.
I wasn’t sure what to do next. What was I supposed to do, stop her from leaving?Yes, damn it!
For the first time in my life, I had no idea how to fix what had gone wrong. A tear trickled down my face, and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. Damn it, I was crying.
Already missing Charlie and her precocious and honest attitude by my side, I quickly wiped the rest of the tears away and headed back into the dining area.
I saw both Beth and Bryce eyeing me with concern. I unconsciously looked around for Charlie, but I knew she was gone. Dropping my ass in the chair, I covered my face with my hands and tried to clear away the further grief settling into my shattered heart.
A hand rested on my shoulder, and I thought it was Bryce. Yet, it wasn’t my brother. It was my father instead. He took the chair next to me and began, “Markus.”
I looked at him, and for the first time, I saw familiar heartbreak in his eyes. The loss of the woman he loved.
