Page 12 of The House on Firefly Beach
Robby’s father was barely around. He’d moved on with his life, leaving them behind. He showed up at major holidays but only ever stayed a few hours. And now his new wife was expecting a baby, so he’d be wrapped up in his new family.
“I miss Ben and Hallie too,” she said, keeping her thoughts to herself.
“Can we call Ben?” Robby asked, climbing up onto the swing with her.
“Sorry, honey. When two people are on their honeymoon, they’re usually pretty busy sightseeing and spending time together,” she said with a discreet wink to her mother. “We need to give Ben and Hallie their privacy.”
Robby’s face dropped, and Sydney already felt the disappointment that would unquestionably settle upon him as time went on. She wanted to give him more healthy role models, but she just didn’t know what to do. She’d tried to take him to see Gavin Wilson, who owned the art gallery in town, thinking they could connect on a creative level this summer, but Robby refused to talk to him. Then he’d worried incessantly that Sydney was going to date Gavin, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was only an acquaintance, a friend of Hallie’s. It wasn’t healthy, but she didn’t know what to do. She figured she might run it by Mary Alice at some point to see if she had any suggestions from a counseling perspective.
The crunch of gravel on the walk leading around to the porch where they sat pulled her from her introspection. A lone, overlooked paper napkin, the last remnant from yesterday’s wedding, blew like a tumbleweed across the lawn until a masculine hand stopped it, balling it up in his fist, and shoved it into the pockets of his jeans. Sydney followed the arm up to the face, her mouth drying out. She stood up.
“May I help you?” she asked Nate.
“Hi,” he said, his hand raised in greeting. When she didn’t say anything, he lowered it slowly, his eyes full of silent messages to her that she couldn’t decipher, and really didn’t want to.
“Robby,” Jacqueline said. “I need your help snapping the ends off the green beans for supper tonight. You’re so good at it. Think you could help me inside?” She eyed Sydney. Her mother knew all about Nate, and she also knew exactly what Sydney thought of him.
“Okay,” Robby replied, regarding Nate cautiously. He followed Mama inside.
Nate stepped onto the porch. “I thought I’d stop by,” he said, moving toward her tentatively.
Sydney backed away, her heart racing.
“I didn’t push you at the wedding because it wasn’t the time nor place, but I was wondering if you’d hear me out.” He took another step forward, and this time she allowed the proximity, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Let me get this off my chest and then you can tell me to leave. Because if I don’t say anything, I’ll regret it, and when it comes to us, I have enough regret already.”
At least he wasn’t entirely heartless. Although, judging by how quickly he’d moved on to better things in LA after leaving Firefly Beach, she doubted he’d spent long nights, his heart breaking until the tears were literally flooding him, the emptiness so raw that he didn’t know how he’d pick up the pieces. Seeing him brought it all back for her, and she scolded herself for letting him affect her.
“Can we just be us for a little bit?” he asked. “Just you and me, Syd?”
She felt the swell in her chest at the thought of him and her, like old times. But the problem was that they’d been irrevocably changed by everything that had happened. “We’ve both moved on with our lives,” she said. “You’re not who you were anymore and neither am I. Dragging each other through our muddy past isn’t healthy for either of us.”
His gaze dropped to the floor, but it was clear that his thoughts were somewhere else. “I hadn’t meant to change…” His voice trailed off.
Sydney wondered if he regretted leaving, and despite her anger about how he’d handled things, she felt an odd sort of guilt for making him question something that had led to his success. “Your life now is your destiny,” she said. “I know that because you are an incredible songwriter. You deserve to be right where you are. You don’t belong under the oaks at Firefly Beach anymore, Nate.Weare a casualty of that success, no matter how rocky the journey was to get you there.”
Sadness seemed to wash over him, and before she could act on it, his arms were around her, his familiar scent of fresh cotton and spice overwhelming her senses and making her lightheaded. The feel of his chest against her face took her right back to those years they’d spent curled up together all night after they’d stayed up writing and talking about their future, neither of them wanting to move as the sun broke on the horizon, the day inching between them and making them finally get up. She fought back the prick of tears.
“My heart will always be under those oaks with you,” he whispered into her ear. Sydney worked to swallow the lump forming in her throat, the ache that had been long forgotten surging through her with a vengeance. In that moment, how he’d left wasn’t what surfaced, but instead a deluge of memories from all the wonderful times they’d shared together, and she realized that even though she kept telling herself that she shouldn’t, she loved him, and if she allowed herself to admit it, she wasstillin love with him.
Nate pulled away and looked down at her. “Even after all this time, it feels like yesterday,” he said.
Sydney knew that telling him she felt the same way would do more harm than good. Keeping him at Firefly Beach because of her would be like caging a wild bird—his wings were too big for this town, and it was only a matter of time before he’d leave again.
She was still swimming around in her feelings when the reality of the whole situation set in: it wasn’t fair to Juliana to have her boyfriend running around after an old flame. So why was he? That single question pulled Sydney back into the certainty that Nate Henderson was no longer the person standing in front of her. The very best Sydney could hope for was to have the strength to keep her emotions in check until Nate had his fill of Firefly Beach and pulled away from town and away fromherfor good.
“Mr. Carr,” she said quietly, purposely using his pen name to drive home the point, “it isn’t yesterday.” Sydney had to literally push the words from her lips when all she wanted to do was to fall back into his arms as if the time that they’d lost had been just a bad dream. “If you’re here to say you’re sorry, then apology accepted. But I’d appreciate it if you would,please, let me move on with my life.” Her heart slammed around in her chest, and she feared that he could see through her.
Nate stared at her questioningly. It seemed like she was hurting him, but what did he expect? He might be used to girls falling at his feet these days, but Sydney wouldn’t be one of them.
“Mama?” Robby’s voice tore through the moment.
Sydney whipped around to address him. “Hi, honey.”
“I’m all done helping with dinner.” His little eyes fluttered over to Nate.
“This is… an old friend,” Sydney said. “His name is Nathan Carr.” The name rolled heavily off her tongue.
Robby moved slightly behind her when Nate bent down to say hello.
