Page 57 of Her Duke for Thirty Days
“Rather perceptive, aren’t you?” Alexander said a little more harshly than he intended to. But it was difficult to pretend he was not heartbroken, when he was. It was as simple as that. And now, Leonard was here, pouring salt on the wound.
“I shall let that one slide, old boy,” Leonard aimed his glass at Alexander, not having taken offense to his brother’s words. “Because I can see that you realized you are in love with Phyllis only now that she has left.” He paused for a moment, allowing these words to settle, then he added. “Honestly, I’ve seen this before myself, but you were just too stubborn to admit it to yourself.”
“I did not!” Alexander shouted, unable to control himself as he spread his arm in front of him, pushing the glass off the table unintentionally, where it fell on the Axminster carpet, which absorbed all the liquid that was inside. Neither of the two men even blinked at what had happened. However, the atmosphere in the study seemed charged with an unspoken tension as they gazed at each other in silence.
“You can be in denial all you want,” Leonard shrugged, taking a quick, but soothing sip of his own drink, not taking his eyes off of his brother even for a single moment. “Just look at yourself. You are like this because of her. You cannot get her out of your mind. That is love, old boy, whether you want to admit it or not.”
Alexander’s eyes flickered, revealing the truth that lingered in his heart. He had no idea what to do, and this helplessness was making his despair even more profound.
“It doesn’t matter. Our marriage was just a farce anyway. Like she said, I got her dowry, which is what I wanted. That is all.”
“Is it?” Leonard asked in a tone that suggested he already knew the answer, but it was not he who needed this knowledge.
“This is for the best.” Alexander urged, trying to convince them both, but with little success.
Leonard leaned forward, his voice firm. He refused to let it go. “Is it truly for the best, or are you running away from something that could be extraordinary? Love is a powerful force, Alex. Don’t be so quick to dismiss it.”
Alexander sighed, his gaze distant. “I cannot change the past, Leonard. Phyllis is… she is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I see that now. She deserves the best life has to offer, and I’m afraid that I’m not that for her. She demanded an annulment, and after everything she has done for me, for this family, I cannot but refuse to comply. If that is what she wants, if that is what she needs to be happy, she will have it.”
Leonard pondered it for a moment, his expression thoughtful. “Sometimes, fighting for what you love is worth the risk. Don’t let fear dictate your choices. I know you are fearful of love because of what Father did to us, to Mother, but you are not Father. You would never do that to someone you love.”
Once again, a flash of memory went through Alexander’s mind, reminding him of everything he had been so dreadfully afraid of, but at the same time, he also remembered how Phyllis changed him, how she managed to help him see the world through a different perspective. Now, he was a changed man because of her, but she was not by his side to see him and love him for the better man he had become.
“How do you know who to trust?” Alexander wondered, a flicker of doubt haunting him from the past.
Leonard smiled. “You don’t. You can’t know until you actually do, until you actually trust them. Time will show if your trust was rightly placed.”
Alexander couldn’t understand why Leonard was smiling, when his response was anything but amusing or even reassuring. He was still afraid, but for Phyllis, he was willing to fight, to risk it all.
“So, you have to get burned to know?” Alexander asked.
Leonard grinned. “Something like that. But that is life, old boy. Finding out things for yourself, being brave enough to risk everything. Otherwise, you might as well remain locked up within these walls for the rest of your life and stay safe from all harm. But… where’s the fun in that?”
Leonard got up and walked around the writing table, pressing his hand tenderly on Alexander’s shoulder. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, and she returned those gazes. I think you should think carefully before you let her slip away.”
“I have given it enough thought already,” Alexander shook his head, swallowing heavily. He was trying to convince both his brother as well as himself, although neither of them seemed to be all that convinced. “I don’t see any reason to fight for her when she has already revealed how she felt about me. There are no feelings on her end. She wants nothing to do with me anymore. Otherwise, why would she have asked for an annulment?”
“I don’t know,” Leonard shrugged. “Why don’t you talk to her and ask her? Maybe there is more to it?”
“No,” Alexander concluded. “The truth is rarely as complicated as we make it out to be. It is often much simpler than that. And in this case, the truth is that she doesn’t want to stay married to me as we had initially agreed. After all, I cannot hold anything against her. She has saved us. All I can do is return the favor, which is why I have already requested an annulment, and right now, I am waiting for an answer from the court.”
Leonard didn’t say anything to that. Instead, he took another sip almost as if it helped him think, as if it greased the wheels of his reason. The two remained like that, in silence, for a long time, when Leonard finished his drink and nodded.
“I still think you are wrong,” he said. “But you are a smart man. I just hope you realize this mistake before it is too late.”
Alexander didn’t know what to say to that. But obviously, Leonard didn’t expect him to say anything. He placed the glass on the table before him, and slowly walked out of the study, leaving Alexander alone with his troubling thoughts. The room felt oppressively silent as Alexander contemplated his brother’s words. He was still uncertain about what he had done, and the weight of his decision pressed on him heavily.
It is what she wants,he reminded himself over and over again. She had told him so herself. She wanted this annulment. She could not do it any longer. She could not remain married to him any longer, being a part of this charade, as they both referred to it before. And it all happened just when he was finally starting to realize the depth of his feelings for her.
He sighed heavily, raking his fingers through his hair.Some things just aren’t meant to be, he thought. This was probably one of them. If he could not make himself happy, at least he could assure her happiness by providing her with what she demanded of him, no matter how painful it would be to sign that piece of paper that would forever tear her away from him.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO
Several days had already passed, but Phyllis did not feel better. In fact, she felt even worse than before. She did not sleep well. She had no appetite. Food felt like wood chips or sand that she had to force down her throat in order to simply eat, although her body demanded no nourishment. She could have sustained on air alone, and she would have felt just fine. But Joyce was worried. Phyllis could see it in her sister’s eyes, and that was the last thing she wanted to do, worry her sister needlessly. One preoccupied mind was more than enough.
The drawing room, adorned with delicate furnishings and the soft glow of afternoon sunlight filtering through the lace curtains, served as a backdrop to the somber atmosphere that surrounded Phyllis. She sat on a plush chair, her gaze fixed on the untouched teacup in her hands. The tea had almost gotten cold by now. Joyce, her sister, moved gracefully around the room, attempting to lift the heavy veil of melancholy that clung to Phyllis.
“Phyllis, dear, won’t you at least try a bite of this cake? It’s positively delightful,” Joyce suggested, placing a dainty slice on a porcelain plate.
