Page 12 of Guy
“I’m going to give you some money to keep you afloat, but you’re going to have to get yourself a job.”He nearly snarled at her that he wasn’t going to be low enough to get that when he realized that she was helping now.If he didn’t help himself, then she’d not help him now.“Also, the cars that havebeen repossessed are going to have to be paid off, too.Along with other things that you’ve gotten when you didn’t have any income.”
He was handed a pen and a small notebook to write things down in.However, about the second page of notes, he had to stop and shove it all away.Amber and Fraizer looked at him sharply.
“I need to back off for a moment.I’m not used to…I’m trying my best to be nice here, but it’s too much.”She said she understood.“I don’t understand any of this.I was just thinking before you came to get me that I don’t know where it came from in my mind that I had to have such expensive things.And that I needed the best of the best, no matter the cost.I’d like to blame it all on you, but that’s not going to work.You never had anything to do with us spending money like we had it.I want to blame it all on you.I won’t, but that’s where my head is going right now.”
He wanted to cry and had to work hard on not doing that.Shawn knew that he was a grown man and had to take responsibility for things that he’d created.It wasn’t anyone’s fault that he was where he was but himself.He looked at Fraizer when he said his name.
“I don’t know what to do about any of this.Asking for help was something that I never thought would happen.I thought that I had it under control.That when the money was gone, then I’d just get more.Where, you might ask?I have no idea, but I thought that it would just be there, like it had been when I was a kid, and that would supply us with whatever we needed.I need to grow up.”Frazier said his name again.“I’m sorry.So very sorry for anything and everything that I did to you to piss you off enough that you cut me.I know that it’s not enough, just saying that I’m sorry, but I’m in so deep right now that I don’t even know if when I wake tomorrow that this isn’t going to start all over.”
“I forgive you.”Something akin to the room tightening like it did the night he’d been attacked happened again.This time, he ran his hands over his chest to feel that the wounds were finally closed.Thankfully, too, he was bleeding through his shirts faster than he could keep them clean.“There’s a job opening at the local slaughterhouse that you can have.It pays well, but it’s a shit job.”
“I’ll take it.”He’d never worked a job in his life, but he knew that he had to do something.Then he thought of Margaret being on her own while he worked.“I have to do something with Margaret.I don’t think she’s mentally right in the head.I don’t know that she’s mentally challenged, but there is something wrong about her thinking.”
“I have a couple of connections.I’ll call one of them and see if they can have a look at her for you.”He thanked Fraizer.“My name is Guy.You can call me Fraizer if you want, but that’s my first name.”
“I’m sorry again.”He was told not to worry about it, that it was fine.“No, it’s not.If I’m screwing up, I want to know.I can’t begin to fix myself if I don’t work on the little things at the beginning of this journey.”
They talked a bit more until it was apparent that they were going to be at the restaurant when the next shift showed up.He didn’t mind.Someone was waiting on him, and it had been a long time since he’d had such a luxury.It would be a long time coming again, the way things were going, but he wasn’t going to dwell on the things that he didn’t have, only the ones that he had now.And right now, he had a lot of things that he never thought he’d have again.Friendship was one of those things that he’d never had.He didn’t count Margaret because she was related to him, but he did like the fact that Amber was being so nice to him, as well as Guy.
When someone else showed up to take him to the slaughterhouse, he was willing to go with them, but nervous too.He didn’t have a lot of male friends—hell, he didn’t have any friends—but he knew that he was going to have to do this if he ever wanted to get ahead again.Going with Edmond to the house, he was both relieved and terrified of what the next step in his journey was going to be.
“You’ve never worked before, have you?The reason I asked is because you took the first job offered to you, and you could have questioned this one.”He told him that his brother said that it paid well.“It does at that.But it’s a shitty job.I’ll be the first to admit that.We all work there but Ayden.He has other ventures that he does for Brandy and the family.”
“Like I said, I’ll do whatever it takes to get me back to some sort of living wage where I can paymy own way.”Edmond nodded.“I’ve really fucked up my life.I guess you know that.You and your family can talk to one another through that mind thing you have.”
“You mean Guy?No, he didn’t tell me anything other than you needed a job and were willing to work with us.”He glanced at him.“You don’t mind working with us, do you?We’re all right, men with a good head on our shoulders.”
“I’ve heard that about you.”He’d heard a great deal about the Fraizer men, but he’d never taken the time to really listen to what was being said.He said as much to the man with him.“I was sort of on this self-destruction way of living, and it finally caught up with me.My life has been all fun and games until it wasn’t.When we received the money from when my father died, we, meaning my sister and I, went a little overboard.We didn’t ever once think of tomorrow, but only the right then.I suppose people don’t act like we did when they get a bit of money.”
“You’d be surprised.I think that humans are crazy with all kinds of things that they probably think that I am as well.As a shifter, we’ve had to lay low for all of our lives, yet be out there to make a living as well.It’s never going to be easy as a shifter, but we’re making it work for us.”He told him that it shows.“Thanks.We owe a great deal to our way of living now to Brandy, Lica, my older brother’s wife, for how we’re doing now.She made sure that we knew there was money to be had and how to make more.It’s been a real eye-opener since she came into the family.”
“I’d like to say that no one taught us how to live with money, but that would be a lie.We didn’t listen was what our problem was.And if we did listen, it was to hear things that we wanted to hear that had nothing to do with reality.”He thought of some of the things that he’d been known to spout off, like all kinds of things that were going on with the government.He decided that he was going to start watching the news more and reading more than just the vanity page in the paper.That had been getting him nowhere.
“I just heard from Guy.He wanted me to tell you that you can take your sister to the clinic tomorrow, and his friend and doctor will be there to evaluate Margaret.”He thanked the other man.“Also, he said to tell you that there will be someone to pick you up daily when you have to go to work.There will be a car in your driveway to keep you from having to walk in the snow starting next week.He just has to get one lined up for you to use.”
“Thanks.”He had to turn away, his eyes filling with tears again.They were being so good to him, he hoped that once things started falling into place, he’d not turn back to the way he’d been before.Although he didn’t really know this for sure, he thought that if he didn’t do what was necessary to make things right, he’d not live long.Guy or any one of his brothers would take him out as surely as he was sitting in this nice car.Of that, he had no doubt.
After being shown around the place, he was taken home.There was a car in the driveway, nothing that he’d ever have bought for himself, but it looked like it would be good in the snow and get him around where he needed to be.There was also a note with it.Telling him that he wasn’t to allow Margaret to drive it until the tests were run on her.He knew that wouldn’t be all that hard; she never drove anywhere anyway.
Chapter 6
Amber wasn’t sure how to handle this new Guy.He was acting like a wounded dog, no pun intended, she thought to herself.He was apologetic and quiet.While he would answer her if she had any questions, he didn’t seem to have much in the way of opinions either.She flat-out didn’t care for this man that he’d become.
“I have to go write for a while.”That was another thing.When he said that he had to write for a while, he meant just that.If he didn’t go and sit at his computer for a few hours at a time working like a man possessed, he’d be antsy and sulky—more than before.Always looking at the door to his office in a forlorn sort of way.Again, she didn’t care for this man.She thought that she’d like the rude man just so she didn’t feel bad when she took him to task.“I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
“I do need you.”Guy didn’t move but glanced at the door again, like it were almost an escape from talking to her.“I need you to have sex with me.I need it like it’s my next breath.”
“Sex?”She nodded at him, and when he smiled, she could tell it was forced.“Would you like to have it now?I mean, I’m always willing if that’s what you want.”
“What do you want?”He seemed to be confused by the question.“Do you want to have sex with me?Or are you happy with the arrangements that we have going on right now?”
“I never thought about it.”He looked sheepish for a second before he looked at her again.“I mean, I’ve thought about it.A great deal, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you.”He looked away towards the door again.“I think that’s the reason that I write so much while you’re here.So I don’t jump you when you get close to me.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me before?”He shrugged.“Guy?Tell me why you didn’t say anything before?Is it me?”
“No, it’s not you, but me.I’m…I’m—fuck.I’m trying so hard to be what you want me to be that I feel as if I’m losing a part of myself to trying to be this other person that you need me to be.I can be that way, but I find that I’m thinking too hard on what I want to say and discarding everything in favor of not blowing up.”He grabbed the door jam, and she could see his fingers digging deeply into the wood.“I don’t want to be rude, but there are times when I feel as if I can’t talk to you because I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.Like, there are things that I want to talk to you about that I can’t because of the hold you have over me.”
“I never wanted you to be a different person.I just wanted to be able to have a conversation with you and you not biting my head off.”He told her that he didn’t have any idea how to do that anymore.“So you want to be rude all the time.”
