Page 48 of Darkness and Deceit
Like maybe the Balance does not want blind obedience.
Maybe it wants conviction.
The kind that burns even when it’s stifled. That questions instead of echoes. That fights to do what is right and not what is easy.
And if that is true… everything I have built myself on will start to crack.
When Lilith looked at me, eyes lit with something ancient and furious, I felt it.
A thread.
Something tethered between us. I do not know what it is. A mistake? A warning? A bond?
But it is there all the same.
And Lilith does not belong to us. Not really. She never will. But the deeper truth—the one I have not said aloud, not even to myself until now—is this:
Part of me does not want her to.
One day, someone will have to choose between protecting her and following orders.
I know that already.
And if I am being honest with myself…
I am terrified I have already chosen.
I just do not know what that makes me. I have spent years defining myself by duty—by obedience. But now, the lines blur.
What if protecting her is not a betrayal, but a calling?
What if following her is not defiance, but something else?
If loyalty to her means questioning everything I was raised to believe… I do not know where that leaves me.
But I cannot deny it.
Something is shifting.
Sixteen
KAI
Lilith is fast asleep,tangled in my black sheets, her breath soft and even, her hair scattered across my pillow like dark ink spilled in moonlight. Her brow is finally smooth, her lips parted just slightly, and for a moment, it’s almost easy to believe she’s resting peacefully.
But I know better.
This stillness won’t last. It never does.
She shifts in her sleep, safe for once.
I never had that. Just a cold floor, a collar, a name I didn’t choose.
Stray.
Worse than nothing. A thing without a home.
Simon lies beside her, hands behind his head, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. Vaughn’s sprawled across the couch, arms folded tight, unlit cigarette dangling from his fingers. I stand at the window, watching the trees.
