Page 18 of Darkness and Deceit
Something in me flares. Maybe it’s the fact I’m mentally and physically exhausted, or maybe all the raw feelings of vulnerability have finally decided to overflow, but I can’t help the sheer fury that escapes and uses Kai as the target.
“You gotthrown, Kai.”
He glances up at me and his eyes are calm, his expression gentle. And somehow, that’s worse.
“I had to check on you,” he says simply as if that’s explanation enough.
“You could’ve died.”
“I didn’t.”
“But you could’ve,” I whisper. “And it would’ve been my fault.”
“No,” he says, soft but firm. “That wastheirchoice. Not yours.”
I shake my head. The air feels too thin. My chest too tight.
“I’m not built for this,” I mutter. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt just for being near me.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not just anyone,” Kai says, quiet but certain.
The words hit me like a blade—sharp enough to cut through everything I’ve been trying to hold in.
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.
My throat tightens. Guilt sharpens into fury. Fear knots in my stomach, confusion crowding in behind it—too much, too fast.
I press my hands to my eyes. Hard. “Gods, I can’t?—”
A hand brushes my arm. “Hey.”
Simon’s voice this time—closer, steadier. “We’re not asking you to carry it alone.”
“I’mnotcarrying it,” I bite out. “It’s dragging me. There’s a difference.”
He pauses and then I hear the faintest exhale from him.
“Okay,” he says. “Then we’ll get dragged by it with you.”
Something about that, how simple he makes it sound, makes my chest ache.
I drop my hands and blink at him. “Why do you even want to?”
Simon shrugs. “Because you don’t run from the people you’d bleed for.”
I can’t hold his gaze. Not with the way it softens. Not with the way he says it like it’s the easiest truth in the world.
Vaughn doesn’t speak, but he steps close enough that his shoulder brushes mine. And Kai—still silent—just stays on my other side.
For a moment, the unraveling pauses. Not gone. Not fixed. But steadied.
I exhale slowly. “Thanks.”
It’s not enough.
But that’s all I’ve got.
The class bell chimes in the distance. Outside, late-morning light cuts across the hall, catching dust in the air like ash. Another reminder that the world keeps spinning, even when yours feels like it’s cracked in two.
