Page 251 of Storm over the Caribbean
“Ehem!Enough of that, now.” Pushing myself up into a sitting position with all my might, I sent her a glare that told her exactly what I thought of her bringing up that matter. It might have worked better if a certain dog hadn’t still been slobbering all over me and trying to shove a stick into my face. “We don’t have the time to waste on jokes, Mrs Ambrose. I need to be brought up to speed on the current situation.”
“The current situation, eh?” Cocking an eyebrow, she leaned closer towards me. Not nearly as close as I wished, though. May Mammon curse that dog and its saliva to the deepest layers of hell! “Well, Mr Ambrose, Sir…thecurrent situationis that, after you decided to take your impromptu nap, I dragged your arse, along with the stick inside it, into this cave. Somehow, miraculously, I managed to find enough water to survive for the time being. But as far as food goes…”
She held up something that smelled like an old beggar’s unwashed sock and didn’t look much better.
I inclined my head. “I see.”
All I had actually seen was some unmentionable thing. But how was I supposed to tell her that I couldn’t even tell what kind of abomination mypregnant wifehad been eating these last few days?
By all the bank robbers and lazy employees in the world! How could I have let things go this far? I was her husband, for Mammon’s sake! I was supposed to provide for her, not the other way around! And that was just in normal times. Now? With her pregnant, and us stranded on an uninhabited island?
I was failing miserably.
Throughout the years, I had seen many magnificent and terrible things. I had felt fear, triumph, disappointment, rage, all without ever showing any of it. I had experienced more ups and downs than any man could ever hope to survive. But throughout all of it, one thing had remained unchanged:
I. Do. Not. Fail.
My muscles flexed. My arms moved. I placed my hands against the ground, and, with every single bit of power at my disposal, I pushed.
The world swayed. My head felt as if it had been stuffed with low-quality cotton that I wouldn’t purchase for zero pence. For a moment, bile seemed to rise in my throat—until my body remembered there wasn’t actually anything in my stomach anymore.
Irrelevant. Move!
Once again, I pushed, and this time, somehow, I managed to get to my feet. Anyone who dared to say I stumbled was a liar and would be sued for libel.
“Mr Ambrose! What the hell are you doing?”
Except my wife, that is.
“What do you think?” I ground out, grabbing the nearby cave wall to check its solidity. It had nothing whatsoever to do with steadying myself.
Until my feet slipped and I hit the hard ground knees first, that is.
Son of a bitch!
“Woof?”
Not you!
Dragging in a deep breath, I attempted to push myself to my feet again—only to once more slump back to the ground. “I am—ng!—going to go out there and—agh!—find some food, of course!”
With an almighty effort, I pushed myself up again, took a step forward—and promptly collapsed onto the ground once more.
“You,” came a very familiar voice from above me, “will not be doinganythingin the foreseeable future. Anything other than lying down and enjoying the beautiful view of the stone ceiling, that is.”
“But…” Coughing, I tried to clear out the dirt from my mouth and throat. “But…have to…go and…”
A far-too-firm hand gripped me by the shoulder and shoved me onto my back without wasting any time on discussion. If I hadn’t been so livid with my wife, I might have felt proud. “…lie down. I warn you. If you move, I’ll sic Fence on you. I bet he’d justloveto lick your face some more.”
Now I definitelywasproud. Only married for such a short time and already learning how to effectively threaten people? That was my wife!
Of course I could never admit so out loud.
“Uncalled for, Mrs Ambrose.”
“Says the man who ate a happy gaga fruit and left me to lug him around for the next few days,” she shot back, trying to stare me down from high above. It was rather adorable, although it would probably be better for my health not to mention that. “Stay where you are!”
“And leave my pregnant wife to traipse through the jungle alone?” With a growl, I mobilised what little strength remained and pushed myself up into a sitting position. “In your dreams!”
