Page 37 of August
“She’s beautiful,” Elisa said. “She’s got these long, black braids that I pictured…”
Gwen stopped walking and asked, “Pictured doing what, exactly?”
“Pictured fanning out over a pillow.”
“Oh. I thought you were going to say something sexy. Now I’m disappointed.”
“With me on top of her and possibly doing things.”
Gwen laughed a little and said, “Things? What kind of things, Elisa?”
“The things I’ve only ever imagined doing to another woman,” she replied.
“I’ll let you off the hook for now,” Gwen said, shaking her head. “But I think you should be able to say those things out loud if you’re going to be doing those things soon.”
“Soon? Where are you getting the idea that I’ll be doing those thingssoon? I just told you how hard I was shaking. It was like I couldn’t control my own body.”
“Why is that abadthing?” Gwen suggested.
“Because she pulled back.”
“I bet if you would’ve told her that you were nervous, she would’ve understood.”
“I’m sure she would have.”
“Just because you kiss a woman doesn’t mean you have to sleep with her, Elisa. And just because she buys you dinner doesn’t mean you owe her a goodnight kiss. Just talk to her and explain what happened. See what she wants to do.”
“Fine. I will be reluctantly mature, but I won’t be happy about it.”
Gwen laughed again, and they continued walking until all the dogs had done their business for the time being. Then, Elisa drove Gwen to each house to return the dogs and back to her own house, where Gwen’s car had been parked in the driveway since she had met Elisa there that morning. When she pulled in next to it, Elisa caught sight of Myra, who was at her truck, unloading wood and tools.
“Is that her?” Gwen asked as she looked over.
“Yes, that’s her.”
“Damn. Sheishot. She’s got that sexy butch thing going for her,” Gwen noted.
“I told you so.”
“You should definitely go for it,” Gwen encouraged.
“Get out of my car and go home.” Elisa laughed.
“Call me later and tell me how it goes,” Gwen said before she leaned over and kissed Elisa on the cheek.
“I will,” she replied.
They both got out, and Elisa watched Gwen get into her own car. She waved at her as she drove away and turned to Myra, but all she saw was a pile of wood in the grass between their driveways and no toolbox. Elisa wasn’t expecting her for another hour, so she assumed Myra was changing or doing something at her own house before coming over, but she thought Myra would at least say hello to her before doing that. She took a deep breath and decided that she would talk to her now instead of waiting until Myra was technically on the clock.
“Here we go,” she said to herself.
CHAPTER 13
Myra knew she was being dramatic. She hated this part of herself, but it had always been there. Ever since she had first figured out that she liked girls, decades ago now, she had been worried that a girl she liked wouldn’t be interested or like someone else entirely. In high school, she had liked a girl in her class and had been convinced the girl had liked her, too, but she either hadn’t been comfortable admitting it or had been denying it even to herself. Myra had flirted relentlessly, though, and the girl had flirted back. Then, one day, Myra had spotted her flirting with a guy in their class instead and watched them make out at a party. Convinced she had been wrong to think that the girl liked her, Myra had given up and left her alone, no longer meeting her at school every morning to catch up about their nights. The girl had ended up confronting her about it a month later, wondering what was going on, and Myra had explained her side. The girl had explained that she had made out with the guy so that people wouldn’t suspect that shewantedto be making out with girls.
Myra had only been sixteen, so she could get away with acting dramatically and immaturely back then, but she was forty now, so there was really no excuse for it. Still, she had seen Elisa kiss a woman in the car right in front of her,afterElisa had seen Myra and had even acknowledged her with a smile. When Elisa had turned, the woman next to her in the car had kissed her, and Elisa had even done that smile-and-wave thing people did when they didn’t want to say goodbye to someone as the woman drove off. Myra had hurried inside after she’d seen that, wondering how she’d gotten it wrong.
Elisa hadn’t dated anyone. That had been what she had told Myra the previous night. Myra thought they’d had a moment, and yes, she had pulled away, but she’d stayed fordinner. She could’ve just let Elisa’s awkwardness get to her and left, but she’d stayed. She liked Elisa. She liked the way they sort of fell into easy conversation and how Elisa seemed to be like an open book to her. She liked that Elisa didn’t hold back. It was the opposite experience from what she had had with her ex-wife, only back then, Myra hadn’t known that her wife was hiding back anything.
