Page 36 of August
“No, I mean she’sexperienced. She’s been with a lot of women.”
“She’s your age, right? That makes sense to me. Not all of us get married to the first person we’ve slept with, Elisa. Most people don’t these days, I’d imagine.”
“She told me she used to go out and pick women up all the time.”
“Okay?” Gwen asked more than said, and they stopped walking when Flash found the spot he wanted to pee on and lifted his leg. “Are you one of those people who don’t think women can like sex or something?”
“Well,I’venever liked it, but no.” Elisa shook her head. “I think it’s great. It was just a game to her, though. She liked picking women up and sleeping with them.”
“Oh. She’s one of those?”
“I don’t think she is anymore. She fell in love with her ex-wife, and that woman did a number on her, but Myra hasn’t been with anyone since their divorce, and that was years ago now. She said she’s done with all that game stuff.”
“Then, what’s the problem?”
“I’ve only ever kissed three guys. The first one was in eighth grade and doesn’t really count because it was a peck, and he ran away right after and never talked to me again. The second was at the end of prom night. He wanted more than a kiss, and I said goodnight. The third is your brother, and I don’t think we’ve kissed in maybe five years.”
“What? Really?”
“It’s not like I wanted to. And I’m not sure he really did, either, but I haven’t even kissed another person in five years. I’ve never been with a woman before, and Myra has probably been with dozens, maybe. She made it sound like she did this for a while, and she’s been out for a long time.”
“Well, I think you should talk to her about how you’refeeling and whatever your concerns are. Is it that she’s been with that many women?”
“No, I don’t care about that,” she replied. “I’m a little jealous, honestly.”
They started walking again once Flash was finished but stopped only a few steps later when Marvin needed to go as well.
“Jealous?” Gwen laughed.
“She’s been with a woman before. God, I want that. I’ve wanted that since I knew what sex was, and I’m jealous of any woman who’s been with a woman.”
“So, me?” Gwen asked.
“Yes, you,” she said as she laughed. “What’s it like?”
“Sex with a woman?”
“Yes.”
“Depends on the woman. I’ve had great sex, and I’ve had awful sex. The best sex I’ve ever had was with Angie, though, and we were great in bed but nowhere else, so not sure what that says.”
“I want both,” Elisa replied.
“So, I’m guessing you’re more worried that Myra might have expectations in that department.”
“Yes. But that’s not even something Ishouldbe worried about because she pulled away before she kissed me.”
“Okay, you’re killing me here. You divorce my brother, somehow find an eligible lesbian living next door, and she’s into you. You have no idea how lucky you are. I’ve been out forever, and I’m single with no prospects.”
Elisa laughed, and they walked on.
“I’m nervous, Gwen. I’m not like you. I’ve been cloistered in that house, feeling unloved and undesired for decades now. He never wanted me. He wanted a girlfriend back then for sex more than anything else. You know that. He felt stuck after I got pregnant, and so did I, but neither of us knew how to get unstuck. No one has ever wantedme. He’s always wanted sex, and on his terms. It was never about me. I can’t recall a single time when he called me sexy or told me that hewantedme. I’ve never had a chance to date someone whom I could possibly fall in love with and have them want to kiss me, want to touch me, and maybe even want to fall in love with me. I’m a thirty-eight-year-old who’s never been in love, but I’ve also never been desired or wanted.”
Gwen gave her a sympathetic smile and said, “I’m sorry that my brother is how he is. I’m sorry that my mom did what she did. I wish I could go back in time and somehow change things for you, but–”
“But that would mean I wouldn’t have Adele and AJ.” Elisa smiled over at her. “And I wouldn’t take them back for anything.”
“Neither would I,” Gwen replied. “But I still think they both would have to agree with me when I say that you have done enough sacrificing for them and for my idiot brother, Elisa. You deserve to be happy, and it seems like you’re at least interested in the girl next door.” Gwen smirked at her.
