Page 23 of Steve's Barmaid
“So, now that you are seeing the bar come together, what are you thinking?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Is this still what you want? Is this still your dream?”
“Oh…” I hadn’t given it much thought in the last several days.
“Not so sure anymore?” he asked.
“No. I think—” I struggled with conveying my jumbled thoughts “—I think, I am more sure.”
“How so?”
“I want something that’s mine, something I can see grow and then feel accomplished afterward. Building this with my own hands has made me incredibly proud.” I turned to him. “What have you been thinking while we worked?”
“I like it here,” he said simply.
“Oh?”
“I have felt more free to be myself around you, around the other Fýrifírar. I always felt like I asked too many questions—‘too many whys’—as my dad would say. I have learned more about humans, other orkin, and myself in the last several days than I have in my entire life. You’ve been a big part of that, Billie. You are endlessly patient with my questions and my need to know anything and everything. You haven’t noticed, but you are the one who keeps answering my questions when the othershave long since stopped.” He blushed a shade of olive green as he looked down into my eyes.
I held his gaze, feeling like it was the moment to ask if he wanted something more from me. He’d just told me how much he loved spending time with me. If that wasn’t a clear signal, I didn’t know what it was.
“I have noticed that you have slipped into our community seamlessly. I love talking to you, too. I love your questions and your curious mind. I love that you don’t look at me like a zoo animal because I am human. I love that you are so determined to decide what you want out of life. I find it incredibly… attractive.” I fidgeted with my cuticles, not making eye contact.
I was almost certain we were on the same page, but it was still hard to be the first one to say it out loud.
Steve looked surprised. “You’re attracted to my mind?”
“Well, I am attracted to a whole lot of you, but your mind is what got me started,” I said, feeling my face get hotter.
“I am attracted to your mind… and all the rest of you, too,” he mumbled the last part.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I tipped my head closer and held a hand up to my ear, as if to hear him better.
“I am… drawn to all of you, Billie.” He sounded more confident but was still blushing.
Oh, shit, we were really having this conversation. My heart felt like it would come out of my throat, and my hands were clammy, but I was doing it. I hadn’t been imagining those stolen glances. I wanted to be smart about this. I wanted to do this right. With all our endless conversations, I had never explained dating, human or otherwise.
“Well, do you want to do something about this mutual attraction?” I asked, my stomach feeling like it was full of snakes.
Steve’s jaw hung open at the knowledge that we had similar feelings. It took him a minute.
“Uhhh… what do humans usually do?” he asked.
“Well, we would go on dates. Do things together, just the two of us. See if our attraction grows?”
“I would love to spend more time with just you,” Steve said earnestly. “What kind of things could we do?”
Jesus Christ, why am I so nervous? Keep it cool, Billie. Okay, you both expressed interest in something. Just suggest something, anything. Come on, brain!
“We could go on a walk?” I suggested.
What the fuck? A walk? Who am I, an 80-year-old bird watcher?
Steve furrowed his brows in confusion. “Aren’t we currently going on a walk?”
“Technically, yes, but when you go on a walk as a date, you usually go someplace scenic and maybe pack snacks or a picnic?”
